Things you never thought you'd say until you owned a BJD v2

"I need more bodies"

 

A new couple just moved into the apartment next door. I had my window open & I was playing with my dolls. I put them in the window for a moment so I could grab something, and I was telling my wife how happy I was with my new hybrid.

I said, "Yeah, I mean, she has that perfect ass. It's so cute! And so lumpy! I love pear-shaped dolls. I wish her breasts were bigger, she's so hard to dress. I just need a bigger breast part, then I'd have my perfect pear-shaped hour-glass girl. That'd be my dream come true."

And then we looked out the window, and our new neighbors were outside loooooooking at us. LOOOOKING at us. They started to fidget with their phones really akwardly when they saw us. I think the husband was super weird-ed out by the dolls in the window & I know that they overheard me talking about my doll parts. The wife was really into it though. I half-expected her to ring my doorbell & ask to see the dolls up close xD

Other strange things I've said?

Stranger: "Do you ever get scared of your dolls being possessed by evil spirits? These dolls seem like they'd be perfect for possession."
Me: "Actually I'm pretty sure 2 of my dolls are possessed. Not by evil spirits, unless you count Ludo. He's the resin-reincarnation of Cyrano De Bergiac. He's not evil though, he's just sexually repressed. He keeps groping things & turning up in funny places, and he's always naked & touching himself."

(It's true, that's the really sad thing.)

 

"Just 200 €! It's so cheap!"

"I kinda like that he stares at me"

 

"No time, sorry, I need to go say hi to my dollies." (After I got back from my business trip yesterday)

 

Post Office lady: Oh, what are you mailing out today?
Me: A pair of hands.

She chuckled.

Ryu

 

Well... brace yourselves for this pervertedness.
*My first doll yuki(boy) just arrived*
Mom: Ooh! he has a peeniy! *proceeds to molest doll*
Me: Mooom! Stop molesting my poor little boy! Now he's scarred for life!

 

Post Office Lady: You get a lot of little boxes. What's in this one?
Me: It's Derek's head. Oh...he's a doll in case you're wondering.
Post Office Lady: Just a head?!?
Me: He hasn't got a body yet. I need to get him one.
Post Office Lady: *stares*

...and in reference to the same box...

Co-Worker: What did you have to pick up at the Post Office?
Me: It's a head.
Co-Worker: Um... *awkward silence*

...and...

Me, to another DoA member:
"Good luck with your eye search!"

 

This is a pretty ordinary conversation for this thread. There is no punchline as such.

friend: your room's so dark . . .
me: yeah (points thumb in direction of Anya) she's out of her box right now
friend: you're not going to take her outside?
me: umm, I really want to take her to the botanical gardens but I'm worried about the humidity getting into her elastic or something.
-pause-
I'm also worried about all the groups of schoolchildren who visit the Gardens.

You know, kids and grabby hands *grimace*

 

"Lock the door at all times. The bedroom shall never unlocked unless I am in" Very serious list of rules when I'm not in my dorm.
"I think he looks manlyier without eyelashes"
"Leather pants, leather pants he can't sit cause of leather pants"(In a sing-song voice)

 

She's sitting in a box in Singapore with her ex-girlfriend, but they're going to get back together, maybe, either way I'm still not sure about Rachel's head so I might get her a new one, but I'm keeping her body.....

 

RyuichiSakuma13 (discussing buying a Fairyland doll body): I won't be ordering the body for a few days.

Me: Okay

RyuichiSakuma13: Their bodies are the best in the market...but you could also find one in the MP too for (hopefully) less.

Me: It's really exciting to see you getting a body. Uh.... that didn't come out right.

RyuichiSakuma13: *dies laughing*

 

This wasn't me, but my hubby. I almost fell off my chair, since he isn't in the hobby and often complains about my dolly-mindedness...

My uncle came for a visit recently and surprisingly enough was wearing foundation. We all thought this weird enough, so there was a lot of whispering that day amongst us brothers, sisters and in-laws This evening we were describing said phenomenon to my best friend and her husband and my husband surprised us all by saying: "It looked like a normal skin head with no face-up!"

 

"Baton Rouge? Why are my eyes in Baton Rouge?"

 

"I need to get him his body"
"I prefer male dolls because I don't like girls"
(about restringing) "First you dismember the doll..."
(to someone saying that the dolls are creepy) "Thank you for the compliment!"
"I didn't realise I have this many pair of eyes!"
(discussing with friend on the train while wearing my school uniform) "He has such a hot body!! If only I have the money to buy him right now" cue horrified looks from strangers

 

"I feel dirty showing a toothbrush into Lucy's butt-crack" I was cleaning her after a botched blushing

"Oh they're in the jar of eyes"

"hand me her head, will you?"

 

"Oh, her eyes are just upstairs in a bag with the rest of them."

 

*showing uncle my doll after my Jes got a little stained by his black underwear. No worries, he's all clean now.*

Me: "He has a bruised butt."
Uncle: "He's been busy"
----
*While asking my uncle if Jesper's eyes looked straight.*

Me: "I figure if anyone could tell if something was straight, it was you." (because he's good at aligning pictures and shelves and such.)
Gay-Uncle: "Oh gee, thanks!"
Me: "You know what I mean!"
Uncle: "Well I can tell you right now, with those legs, that face and those clothes, there ain't nothing straight about that doll."
Me: "Well duh, he's not supposed to be."
-----
Yumeko: "He has a round butt."
-----
Me: "Don't take pics of me playing with his butt!" *While trying to fix his pants due to his ghetto-booty popping out whenever he sits down and because the pants were low-rise.*
---
Me: Ohh I got an extra set of eyes!
---
Me: He keeps punching himself in the face.

 

"That's not so expensive...considering she's rare to find"

 

"how could the mailman just leave her outside like that?! she could have been kidnapped!"
"I need to go shoe shopping"
"I like these hands better on her"
"I need to change her eyes....and maybe get her a new body someday"
"I actually recorded myself showing the inside of her head but it was too long to add in the video"

*while looking at an $80 Dollheart dress* O.o "it's so cheap!!"

 

"$350? That's really cheap!"
"I think I'm addicted to eyes"

"Elly-Butt, I'm sad" (Talking to Elgin, my doll) XD

 

Me: *to my doll Tom* Gosh your butt too dang big.
------
Me: She can stand, see!
Boyfriend: I don't think that's a good---
*FemyLyn falls and I catch her. Her finger is broken off*
Me: Ack! We need first aid!! She's gonna diiiiieeee!! TT____TT
*Boyfriend super glues the finger back on*

 

I WANT a doll!

or

No, it doesn't bother me to have dolls in my room as I sleep.

 

*hears clicking sound*
"That was his eye hitting the floor, wasn't it?"

 

"Don't worry about the jingling. That's just her eyes rolling around in her head. Outta sticky tack."

 

Cool beans, I got a box of death!

*probably the most politically incorrect thing I could have said upon recieving my first can of MSC*

Oh, don't mind the floating head in the closet. It's just Silas.

 

"Yeah, her eyes go in through the back. I'll show you the inside of her head when we get home ^^"
My father was curious about how bjd eyes go in...

 

*Looks at time zone difference between Korea and USA*

"Wow, that limited goes on sale at 6pm in Korea. Okay, I'll set my alarm for 3:50am so I'll be awake in time."

 

me: I want a kid
friend: oh?!
me: not a real one.. just like.. a younger.. doll..

 

"Her breasts are shaped oddly" I would never say that to anyone real xD
Or things like "She has big hands/feet"
Before I learned about bjd's, I thought so horribly about the word "dolls".
I used to have barbies, so maybe that would explain something.
Now I HATE when people compare bjd's to barbie dolls Dx

 

My Husband: WHAT are you doing?
Me: Just sanding down her nipples... they could poke an eye out before
My Husband: O.o

 

When I was doing my doll's face-ups: "Oh look, I have an army of headless bodies waiting for their heads!!"

 

"Look at his tiny lil wee!" (Poor Francis)
"That doll's wee is so small, he might as well not have one." (Referring to a naked doll I found online.)
"Lol, he fell of the desk and lost his head!" (Poor Francis again. XD)
"I need to find some dread wax." (Seris's wig is real hair and needs dreads, I would look rather strange with dreads. >.>)

 

"TEENIE GEMS ARE HUGE!!!"

"Damn, I forgot to give them my real name!"

"Wow, she does look much better with eyes and hair!"

 

"I couldn't get her head off, now I can't get it back ON!"

 

"Where did I leave her body?"
(When I was doing a faceup and left her body somewhere)

"I need to boil some water for her face"
(When cleaning a faceup off)

"I need the tool to carve her chest a little"
(When modifying my doll)

LOL. So funny.

 

"Honey, he is a bit special. He can't even lift his arm without hitting himself in the face."
(me trying to convince my boyfriend the doll isn't going to kill him)

 

Put me down for another in the great stream of:

"Sure I can help, I think I have some spares for you in my drawer of hands and eyes."

 

"Oh, the room belongs to the Resins - I just sleep there."

"My, what a lot of lovely talons you have there. ^_^"

After Rin fell down during a shoot and the old woman had to scoop him up and fuss over him (in public) before I could stop her:
"He's not alive, mom. He's not going to cry, you know."

 

At a doll meet "Emma....can we play with your eyes?"

 

While looking through the marketplace: "Wow! That doll costs more than my car!"

And when my mom picked up Yun, an OGE MnF Shiwoo mod head, from the post office and opened the box there to see if the head was okay, she showed him to the post office people and they were quite confused. Then the next time I went in there they gave me funny looks. XP

 

"Make sure to cover the bodies."

"Be careful when you're taking off their clothes."

"Her body is so weak. I pulled her arm a bit and it fell off."

"His eyes keep falling out."

 

Me to my mom:
"I don't know what's worse: that he looks like a gay, vampire elf - or that I think he looks sexy."

(Granted, that sentence is pretty strange even in its proper context. But my mom is great - she quickly soothed my worries by asserting that the outfit just made Silfe look like David Bowie.)

And the detachable "manhoods" that came with my doll Tam have also been the subject of some...unusual conversations.
Mom: "they're not obscene; he still doesn't have balls."

Of course, the winner of "most awkward moment" goes to the time Tam's man-bit fell off...in my Grandmother's garage.
Grandmother: Did you lose something?
Me:....

 

"200 bucks? Wow that's pretty cheap."

 

"It's like those eyes and hair were made for her."

 

Aghhh don't open her skull again...gives me a stomach ache!
But can I try that pink wig on my bear?

 

No...That's grandma's doll!!

 

i don't know if its been said here but walking around the house saying "where did i put that head cap"

 

"Behave, or I'll poke your other eye out!" also, "Do as I say, or I'll chop your other fingers off!"

"Hm, you can't go on tip-toes. I'll have to gouge a lump out of your feet!"

"Oh no, there's dirt on you! Don't worry, I'll lick it off."

"Hahaha, look at your little willy!"

 

I don't know if those are mentioned already, but:

"Be careful with that box! That's where I stuff the heads!"

"His dick looks like a sausage."

"Mom, I do like this body. If I didn't, I'd have put her head on a different one."

"I wonder if he'd look better if I ripped his eyelashes off? They make him look girly."

 

Mom: Are you done buying dolls???
Me: Oooh yeah mom, I'm done... ( Th@ was 5 dolls ago; now up to 9 and maybe more to come >_< )

 

"Mama, will you give me a ride so I can pick up my man? He's to fat to carry."

 

"Mom, what do you MEAN? Are you really telling me you won't get me the limited edition Asleep Eidolan Mermaid...? Its only a 1000 dollar doll... *pouts*" I said this to my mom, since my 16th b-day is comming up. She stared at me for a moment then just walked away, saying something about damn girl xD

 

Yesterday:
Me - To parents: "Do you guys mind if I get a girl or a guy, because their..anatomically correct and..I don't want to freak you out with flying nekkid guys..."

 

This!!! And I wouldn't pay $10 for a t-shirt for myself because that's "fucking expensive" in my eyes...

 

e

I have said that $200 is cheap befor..and i have done the shirt thing... I will not spend $20 on a shirt for me.. but $23 for a wig!! but its was so lovely i had to have it!!!

Lets see, i have have yelled " yay!!! my head came in!!!.. more then once lol... might be saying it again tomorrow!!!XD hopefully

i have confused PO workers... with eyes and head and bodies... ya... I have said can u stamp fragile on the box... there is a body in there or head...

and the oddest...i think.... was that my friend just got her RS Mu and she was bugging me b/c he was taller then my Lady Saiyuki Ted head on a BBB body and i said "so what, Kaos have a bigger penus then him" ....>_> ya she could not believe i said that and we where just cracking up with owe other friend. (just to let u know we were not just looking @ naked dolls... i was re-stringing her new one)

 

I have done this too.... could not find it for like a week >_>

 

-when watching people open their doll- "Is it a boy or a girl?" -stares at crotch- "Wait is that- Yep, its dollie bits..."

"+$500? I can do that!" -on DoD website (in the past) looking at various dolls that now break my heart because I now know they're too much for me...-

"This is such a pretty sculpt!"
"Let's see... I can make here, here, here and that cabinet into bedrooms. They are going to love it!"
"Well, better clean my room." (I only care about how clean my room is when I'm into BJDs for some reason... Haha.)
"Why are they clothed?! If I'm getting this sculpt, shouldn't I see the body underneath? Remove the clothes!" (This all in my head only, but still. XD)
"Dollie bits! " (So much fun to say~!)

 

"I will never have a boy!!"
"It must all glow in the dark: hair, eyes, shoes!!"

 

At Christmas when I opened my baby
Dad: OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT -points at his crotch-
Me: What do you think it is? His junk.
Dad: Oh... Right ok.. -walks away slwoly-
Me: It's kind of small though...

 

I had posted this to facebook, and it was requested that I post it here as well:

At the beginning of the month, I received a new doll for Christmas. A couple days later, when I was out of the room, my puppy decided that her hands and feet would make an awesome chew toy. I had her out of the box the other day before bed, goofing around with what limited posing I can do with one leg, and my husband started laughing at me. I said "Hey! Don't make fun of her missing parts, it's a war wound!" To which he replied with "Oh yes, she lost her hand and leg in 'Nom' "