Mental Health and the BJD Hobby

Hi there! I Havent been diagnosed with anxiety or depression (Though I wouldnt push it off the table... hahaa... ), But I have had days where I have been not doing so well and I want to stay in bed all day, or have been anxious. I find working on my dolls as calming and they help me cheer up! My BishonenHouse Steve in particular has brought me out of the foulest of moods. When I think of how much work went into making the kit I bought, and how bit by bit I've worked on him myself I feel happy. I like to hold his tiny resin hand and carry him around if I'm bummed out, or take photos. I know he's not real, but he brings me great joy and has kept me from sleeping the day away on a few occasions! I'm comfortable exploring more feminine clothes and items that I, of course, wouldn't want to wear myself. But that doesn't stop me from appreciating a fairy kei styled punk with a hot pink mohawk lol.

I think its cool to express the same kind of experiences you've dealt with in life in your dolls/characters. I think that helps make them more personal and interesting! I'm a sucker for the trope of tough guys who like unconventional things (I don't consider myself a tough guy but, lol. I love BJDs and sewing.) So part of that translates into my pastel punk guy. =)

I hope your anxiety calms down! If you ever need an ear I've got two! Thanks for sharing the interesting post!

 

For me my dolls is surely therapeutic) They help me deal with lonelyness and hopelessness, and my primary struggle - very strong anxiety. One of my doll have PTSD, havy panic attacks and as a consequence - problems with anger management but in her story she finds a way out and cope with all of that and it's somehow helps me)

 

I also struggle with anxiety (as well as OCD tendencies), which has previously led me to periods of deep depression. For me, it is the creative side of the hobby that really helps - I find I need to keep my mind busy, otherwise I start to dwell on negative thoughts, so constantly having an outlet for new crafting/artistic projects in the form of my BJDs is very useful (that and my horses, who are also a fantastic motivation and distraction).

I hope your dolls can be as much of an inspiration and comfort to you as well .

 

I have a nerve disorder as well as hip dysplasia and osteoarthritis which makes it hard for me to walk. I've developed anxiety and depression from my physical problems and limitations, but have found bjds to be a great release. They're something I can do without having to move around too much as I can sit down and dress my dolls, pose them for pictures, and even make things for them, all from the comfort of my own home and even whilst laying in bed. I can't say that I really "confide" anything to my dolls, as I do attend therapy regularly so I have a great place to get it all out already.

I also like to make my dolls not have to suffer from any of the same hardships I face. I see them as perfect little beings (albiet perhaps their personalities can be a bit twisted) who don't deserve to suffer. It's kind of my own way of escaping, by the stories of my dolls who don't have to face what I have to, and it's like this is something that I have created so I couldn't bare to let it suffer. I guess it's akin to a parent who wishes the best for their child. >.<

 

I find the same thing. I have adhd, autism and anxiety and it really helps not to have too much time to sit and dwell. ADHD means I find it very difficult to sit and do nothing - I get bored, restless and then fed up. I constantly have projects on the go, and even when I’m not working on one, I’m thinking, planning, researching etc. My family are supportive of my hobby because they know how important that focus is for me.

 

I find BJDs to be a good distraction, that's been their real value for me. Thinking about doll ideas, projects and plans helps keep my mind occupied so there's less room for thoughts of self harm etc. They can also be something to look at/ company on bedridden days which is good. I don't use them directly for panic attacks/ PTSD etc stuff as there's the potential of damaging things which I know I would regret. Also I don't want to end up associating things that I like with bad feelings and ruining them as that can happen with me.

Though on the flip side there are times when I get frustrated with BJDs, how everything takes soooooo long to do or takes so much work, putting lots of time and energy painting & making stuff that turns out bad, buying accessories and them not fitting or looking right, guilt over spending so much money, anxiety about how much space they and all the bits take up and so on. But i know most hobbies can get a bit tiresome at points so it's not a big deal, it's just there are times when it's a bit

 

I had experienced the same of the positive things at the first years on the hobby (2012) plus I met local doll community, but I had a slow burnt crisis and my dolls spent one year in their bags. I wanted to play with them,but I had no strength.
Now they generate me a little of anxiety because I’m unemployed and I see cute outfits everywhere I want to buy and I feel like I need but don’t and I don’t shake that awful feeling.

 

I have anxiety, severe depression, autism, and resulting (or independent?) fatigue/tiredness. The combination of which makes it so I don't often leave the house. Going to my closest doll meet is a long-term goal I have set for myself. My parents (whom I still live with due to my disability) are happy to see me passionate about something that also has an offline element, and various therapists over the years have used the characters I create in general as ways to relate to me and work through things with me. I'm very excited to bring a doll to share with doctors/therapists so on that side my crew also helps me make it to appointments.

 

I have ADHD, high functioning depression with manic depressive tendencies, a slight anxiety problem, and OCB(obsessive compulsive behavior) which is a much milder form of OCD. I live by the motto "fake it till you make it" just in reference to appearing happy. Sometimes I just can't anymore and my dolls really help with that. If I'm having any kind of problem in public, except a panic attack, I can distract myself with stories I'm writing for my dolls until I'm able to get home. I just retell the stories over and over in my head till I get the wording right. If I'm at home, I cuddle with one of my dolls, usually Loki, a CP Shiwoo. I've had him for so long and built his character so much, I can have conversations with him without having to think too much about his side of the dialogue.

 

I've had depression since I was 12 (I'm now 26), though I think it would be more accurate to call it chronic greif. A very close friend of mine died from luekemia when I was 12. I still cry nearly everytime I think about her. Holding my dolls and making things for them makes me happy, and they never judge me for crying. One of my Puki pukis practically lives in my purse, and just knowing he's there is reassuring.

 

I have depression, bipolar, and what I think to be undiagnosed ADHD (I would go to a therapist to be diagnosed but they make me very anxious). Lately I've been having some rough days, but I've been directing it to making my doll clothes (can't afford to buy much). My doll is relatively new to my life, before I had gotten her, I would write for hours about her character and all the things she went through. I had never realized it but my doll's character does have some of my prolems. My parents think this is a hobby for kids, so they don't know I have her. Im getting ready to move out and go to university, which is probably where my stress has been coming from lately. Overall Getting my doll has made me a lot happier and it takes my mind off a lot of things that would otherwise engulf me.

 

I've got bipolar and generalized anxiety disorders. I'd never consciously decided my dolls should have any mental illness until I got my SDC Mina. Her faceup looks very apprehensive. For a while, it made me anxious just to look at her, looking so anxious. Then one day during a photo shoot, I lost her headcap (and nearly lost her) in a river. Suddenly she had a reason to look so nervous all the time, and now her face matches the "personality" she has. Where it first bothered me (I have enough anxiety, I don't need a doll who looks anxious!), it's now sort of comforting that this inanimate object "feels" the way I do. I guess it's sort of therapeutic, having her around. I know she isn't real but it's as though she's commiserating with me, and that does help me some.

 

Here's an older post about this too HERE

I'm very happy that dolls help you guys with your daily life. I think every hobby can be therapeutic, hobbies are activities you do that make you happy, after all ^_^ My boyfriend has anxiety (not very severe, though), and he really enjoys painting warhammer figures. Maybe, as I see it, dolls can be more like "the emotional side" of the therapy (you can project your insecurities on a doll, create a character that shares a bit of your story... to help you process all those feelings), while painting small things or building stuff is more a way of relaxing and stop thinking of the stuff that worry you. Same with playing instruments or growing plants... I think dolls, as they have human shape, they can help you manage your emotions more than other hobbies.

 

I have a cyclical depression. Dolls allow me to develop skills that make me feel like I am working on myself instead of wasting all my time at work. For example, I learned how to knit and sew for my dolls. I made that decision to learn those skills and allocate time to those skills as opposed to being forced to learn skills and allocate time to classes for a job. I like my job but I hate having to spend most of my time doing it and taking classes at the same time for that same job (not to mention all the paperwork I have to do for supervision hours. With sewing and knitting, I learned it myself, created the product myself, and get to enjoy the process and the product for myself. There's no worrying about pleasing other people. I get to feel the forward movement of growing as a person on my own terms. It doesn't hurt that dolls are cute and happy to look at and cuddle.

 

I have various mental health issues and so far bjds have been very therapeutic for me and very benefical to my mental health. When I'm having bad days and I get my doll out almost feel like he's there for me? They almost have a presence which just looks at you and says 'I'm here' and you don't have to talk or explain how you feel you can just sit with them. And having something I can make things for is such a good focus for me when I'm struggling. He's even managed to calm a panic attack from coming on and nothing has ever been able to do that.

 

I don’t really like going into the specifics of my mental health, but I find the textures and shapes of my dolls to be very calming to touch and look at. Making physical items to put on them is very satisfying, and becomes even more so the more practice I get, and the better I get at it. I purposely styled their characters so I could keep making things for them, and it wouldn’t be “out of character” for them to wear one thing or another.

I love the texture of my Luts doll in particular. He’s so pretty and pleasant to look at, and touch; he’s easily my favorite doll. He feels like an egg shell— I love that so much. His shapes and face are so soft and gentle. I really can’t wait until he, in particular, is done being given his default style, so I can show him to people!

 

@ghostly0rigins I know just what you mean about the Luts texture! Whenever I've got my KDF, I'm always just touching his little hand or his foot...

I've got... ugh, everything going on with my brain. Depression, anxiety, OCD, autism... and then just the stress and fatigue and all from dealing with the physical side of my cocktail-of-disabilities. I've definitely found the doll hobby to be helpful-- in just giving me a thing to engage in that can calm me when I'm stressed (the weight as well as the texture of Vince is really comforting to me, he's my favorite doll for cuddling), in character creation (this is mostly in Vince, who is sort of the adult version of an imaginary friend I guess-- it puts a face on the voice in my head that I use to tell myself things aren't so terrible), and in having a community. I don't go to a lot of meets, but it's one way that I can be social, which is something I really need in my life but have a hard time getting, especially after a move that put me closer to extended family but far from anyone else I know.

 

For me it’s a tricky topic. I’ve had depressions, panic attacks and anxiety disorder. And while the dolls themselves can be called therapeutic, there are aspects of this hobby that I personally find stressing. Like long waiting times, struggling to find the right stuff for certain characters, pangs of guilt about “wasting money”, etc.

A little while ago I’ve got a strong desire to try out making my own resin eyes, but soon I’ve realized that all those craft materials I’ve ordered will take a long time to arrive, and I still need a lot more to acquire, but I can’t spare any more money this month, and I really want to try it all RIGHT NOW… So I found myself unable to sleep at night thinking about how I would do this and that, making plans that I won’t be able to deliver in weeks. My anxiety has actually peaked so much, that I have breathing problems, which has not happened to me for a few years. Ouch, not so therapeutic…

On the other side, without this hobby I’d probably have other things to stress about. XD It really is distracting and escapism-stimulating, which I don’t see as a bad thing — life would be so much duller without it.

 

I got a Pong to help me be happy. A Puki size so she could be in my pocket. I can squeeze her when I need to and she's firm and snug in my hand.

And now I have plans for an SD who will be able to sit weighty on my chest and to cuddle when I need help with a panic attack.

 

BJD's are very therapeutic for me. Two years ago I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective and dissociative identity disorder. I tend to be very shut in due to my mental illnesses. The symptoms can be almost unbearable at times and make it hard for me to get out of the house. I actually got my first doll after my third hospitalization.I can't drive and am disabled and on medicaid. I have little money which can be very difficult for this hobby however I always have been super creative. SO far all my dolls are character dolls. I write stories to get immersed into in my free time or otherwise I'd go crazy of boredom.

Eventually I'd like to create dolls that resemble my Alters (personalities) as there actual age, sex, and gender. I am currently working on giving one of my alters Claudia (9 yr old,f,alter) a replica of how she she imagines herself. My therapist and partner thinks it's a wonderful Idea and gift. It also might help when and if I ever try to integrate my alters as Ill have an almost physical piece of them.

 

I have depression (unclear on what kind never been with a therapist long enough to find out what kind), and anxiety. If one isnt beating me up the other is, or theyre teaming up on me. So I try spending my time making the most out of my pain n misery by being creative anyway I can. Drawing, painting, crochet, music, anything i think I might be any good at. So far all that I actually enjoy is sculpting figures out of clay (which I can almost never afford), painting (also cant afford), crotchet, and sewing. I try my best to be an artist but i get depressed over my work so easily. I honestly stumbled upon this hobby as i was looking up stuff for my crotchet dolls that I like making. And I started looking into it and I fell in love with the fact that everything is so customizable, and everything can almost be fixed.

 

Well, I'm bipolar and I'm pretty sure my current doll obsession is just an extended mania where I feel compelled to blow money and create stuff. Though the creative part is really helpful to keep me busy, sharp, and calm while feeling like I'm not wasting away. The spending part is a problem, and I don't mean it in the "lol" kind of way.

 

I have bought four of my eight dolls during manic episodes. I feel ya.

 

I bought two very expensive LEs during my last manic episode so I too can relate. Thankfully they're few and far between for me these days. I definitely think the creative aspects of the hobby can be therapeutic. My dolls are based on characters that I also write about and draw, and that's definitely helped keep me sane at times.

 

Yup...me too! I've got a deeply inconvenient mixture of OCD and Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder.
The dolls are like a part of me, and I find their presence quite comforting. They have also been part of the problem (reckless behaviour) when I overspent on them in the past.
What I have is rather like speeded up bipolar disorder, so I can go from euphoria to despair quite quickly.
It's interesting that a lot of people in this thread have mentioned autism. I think a lot of these conditions also represent a different way of thinking about things.

 

My roommates and I became a group since the one had specifically asked for neuro-atypical people, or open-minded enough people. I've only recently realized just how atypical my brain is, especially since finding what kind of meds help it function better.
The other roommate is more typical, and she has asked us how to help each other when our brains are rebelling, but she's pretty good helping when she can.

 

@ihnasarima that sounds really good. I think things are better than they used to be. Having said that, I never had to share a room, but that's because I went to college in the UK, where sharing rooms is less usual.

 

@glass_mountain Ah! American-ism! By 'roommate' I mean what British call 'flatmate'. We have our own rooms, but share living spaces. We don't exactly have a word to differentiate between 'people you share living space with' and 'people who sleep in the same room as you but aren't SOs.

 

Ah ok...that sounds much better. I had visions of students sharing rooms!
'Flatmate' is a funny word when you think about it...

 

@glass_mountain , at college I did have a 'room'mate- our one room had 2 of everything: bed, desk, chair, closet, window, sets of keys, occupant. Our room was a riot of color and we loved it.

Now, years after college, my flatmates and I have made our home into a space that every visitor has called welcoming, and comfortable, and comforting. I take it as a point of pride that so many differently-brained people are at peace in our home.
Part of that is because we are so differently-brained feom each other, and we're constantly describing and translating what our brains are doing to us.
How do I tie this back to dolls... One roommate told me that One tax-return-doll was reasonable- I have to be responsible re: bills, repayment, but I can also do a gift for my heart.

 

I think my dolls are very therapeutic. They let me engage in childlike play again, they help give me something to do when my health is again failing me, and when I can't do anything at all they're good company.

I do have a few dolls with story elements that are like parts of my life or that I relate to. Arkady is dyslexic (I'm autistic) and he has pretty severe past problems that haunt him.

 

I relate to the rapid-bipolar comments. I was diagnosed with that, and I haven't been able to afford my meds. So during one of my really quick brief manic eps, I snagged my first doll, lol.

Honestly, I've done worse in a mania. All the time at my long 12 hr shifts at work now, all I can think about is finding stuff for him when he gets here. And I really like being creative (I drew my icon and he's a character I eventually want to make a doll), so this is just like a physical art hobby now that I'd always wanted to get into. I think figuring out how to do clothes, and slowly piecing everything together is going to be a LOT of fun and definitely therapeutic. The most expensive part, as far as I'm concerned, is out of the way. c: So the rest of it is just fun.

 

I have borderline personality disorder, high functioning autism, and a generalized anxiety disorder.
I like turning my dolls into the people I know I could never be.

 

I also have borderline, anxiety and depression. Do you find that you find it difficult to shell characters due to changing shifts in personlity/moods? (Sorry if the question is too personal I am just curious)

 

I should add that I'm borderline too - I tend to say 'Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder' but honestly Borderline is less of a mouthful!

And to answer your question @WittyKilf I actually find the dolls help. The impulsiveness can lead to reckless doll spending, and I try to keep a lid on that. But the characters often get to personify different moods.

 

Pretty much. I had 2 abs ball jointed dolls before. One of them went through being about four different characters and I could never decide how she should look. The other never ended up being anything since I could never keep focus long enough to finish making her wig.
The doll I am waiting on in the mail has already become somebody else entirely....
Also like Glass Mountain mentioned I tend to spend money recklessly on dolls too.

 

Well the anxiety and depression are complex, it can be relieved little by little. In my case, when I began suffer anxiety and depression, I cleared my mind and decided I have do something about it: I will become a dollmaker someday, so I start practicing face-up with second hand commercial dolls, that bring me relief.

I think if your hobby makes you feel better and helps you improve, go ahead and still with it

 

I'm bipolar and suffer from anxiety as well. At times (like right now), I get really obsessed with hobbies and thinking about my dolls or seeing them or making things for them really helps me get my mind off things as well as pass the time.

But another part of how my mental/behavioral issues affect this hobby (and all of my hobby and interests) for me is that I tend to go through phases with them and lose interest quickly, but then regain interest later. It just depends on my current mental state and I've also found that what meds I'm on affects my hobbies a lot.

Annnnnd yet another way bipolar affects my hobbies is that it's sometimes very hard to keep myself from spending money!!! I just bought two full dolls and a head on a whim, and I'm trying extremely hard to keep myself from buying yet another head.

 

I totally understand where you are coming from with this. I spend money recklessly when I'm on either extreme either to make myself feel better or because I think it's an EXCELLENT idea in the current state I am in. My interest also comes and goes, but I'm trying hard to make dolls a stable part of my identity.

 

I have depression and severe anxiety/borderline paranoia, and ngl I have done a lot of doll stuff during manic episodes XD I have to say though, dolls are a really enjoyable creative outlet. I'm yet to own any on-topic dolls, but Ive found creating for the off-topic dolls I have very fun!
Im in university so have recently been getting stressed out with deadlines, so when I've completed some tasks i would relax and work on my plapico violet (in my icon), and I recently managed to complete her face-up and body blushing, and it was so rewarding! i have a habit of starting projects and never finishing them, so it felt amazing managing to complete her!
Ive also been in the process of making a wig for a vinyl doll i own, and ive found it very relaxing of an evening to be making wefts, brushing, and glueing the wig whilst having a film or youtube on in the background, and its so nice to have a feeling of completing something i enjoy for myself, not just uni work

 

I've spent most of my 30 years of life dealing with severe depression, social anxiety, and OCD. My lowest point was about a decade ago; very much non-functional and bordering on suicide. Things are better now, sure, but most of you know as well as I do that the pain never really goes away. It's the difference in manageability that becomes variable; a 'cure'.

BJDs... help more than I'd like to admit. It's hard not to get attached when your dolls are designed to represent exceedingly personal characters (screenwrite/aspiring director here, several years in the making) as their ideal--and oft beloved--casting picks.

The presence is undeniable. Any time I grab Taylor, or Faye, and have them there in my lap, I can close my eyes and everything is just... 'right'. At peace.

Not that it replaces an intimate connection with an actual person in any sense of the word, but it does make things a little less lonely in the meantime, if only for a moment.

 

I also have depression and 2 anxiety disorders, I'm currently 23.

My dolls are clearly a comfort item for me, is not without reason that my pukipuki is called joy. I also am not sure if the dolls are therapeutic or the craft related to them are, but the thing is: it works, so I'm in!

I don't know about if giving the doll those problems can help, I prefer to make them the opposite to give me strenght, but I think thats pretty personal.

 

The idea of worry dolls, dolls that listen to your troubles and carry them away while you sleep, has been around for as long as people have made dolls. This seems very normal to me.

 

I wonder if anyone else has an eating disorder and/or body dysmorphic disorder. I personally don't think many of these dolls help ease insecurities, but I've learned to appreciate unconventional beauty through them.

 

You can't be your best to take care of your dolls if you don't take care of yourself.

 

I'm professionally dxed with borderline personality disorder, major depressive disorder, delusions, and insomnia. Things I don't have diagnosed yet include an eating disorder + body dysmorphia, gender dysphoria, and ADHD.

Altogether? These things add up to make a very impulsive, very anxious person with a tendency to spend lots of money to get that temporary wave of adrenaline. Not the best for someone in such an expensive hobby, but I make do.

My second doll, Liam, is definitely a comfort doll for me. He's transgender, autistic, and very shy until you get to know him. I want to buy him arm crutches so that I relate to him even more-- I use a wheelchair part time due to undiagnosed chronic pain, and having someone that's also going through the same thing, even if its a doll, is comforting.

I think my dolls have definitely been a creative outlet for me and 1000000% theraputic.

 

I have depression but thats not the true issue I suffer from. Anxiety is huge with me. It sneaks up and attacks when ever it pleases. Dolls help a lot with this. I have a bunch of my on topic dolls which are basically floating heads right now kind of sitting on my desk with me since today alone been an anxiety attack in general. They happen too randomly and don't quite have the means for treating it currently so I have to find other ways to help. This art project I'm going to start once the chicken wire comes in will def help keep my mind of 90% if everything. nothing like trying to attempt at a 132 cm long animal fan doll from a video game (I had to scale it to 1/3)

 

Anxiety, depression, and ASD here.

The depression/anxiety tends to spike and wane. I'll go for a period of time where I'm doing okay, and then BAM—it hits hard. It also likes to linger just beneath the surface and seep into my conscious during certain moments and impact my thoughts. It's been a real struggle to be honest.

I admittedly used to be more active in the community—had an IG account for my BJDs, semi-frequented BJD groups on Facebook, and generally posted more info and photos online of my crew. I used to have this passion for starting up faceup commissions, or using my so-called artistic talents towards something useful in the community, but these past few years I've been hit hard with anxiety/depression it's really had an impact with my interaction with this hobby and I've just been so afraid to even bother contributing anything artistically anymore. I used to love doing art in general for people, but now I have no desire to really do it. I just mainly do these things for myself, as I—and people close to me—are usually the only ones who appreciate the work.

It's so hard for me seeing all the other people talented in this hobby (and in art in general), and then making comparisons of my work with others. I used to think I was pretty good with doing faceups and art in general. I got a degree in graphic design, for crying out loud—and now I feel like I wasted my time with it. I don't feel jealous of all of the other artists, mind you—it just hurts seeing all the talent and gorgeous work—and feeling like a nothing in comparison.

So, yeah—the BJD hobby has been a double-edge sword for me. I do get comfort and relief from my crew—seeing them, interacting with them...it makes me happy. But sharing them online....it causes my anxiety and depression to spike. It's what makes me hesitant to get involved and participate in the social aspects of the hobby.

 

@jade-eyed-cat If you allow me to say this - I know from personal experience that this is 100% the 'sick' part of you speaking, and there is no input at all from your healthy part, which you undoubtedly have as well, even if you can't see it right now. This is not reality, it's a warped version of it. I looked, and I see you have fascinating and wonderful dolls. Do not fall into the old trap of comparing yourself to the top crew of professional face up artists who probably do two face ups a week every week - I bet you have much less opportunity to work on that skill since your health won't let you. You come back to it whenever you can, probably after a longer pause of inactivity, and of course every time you do this, you have to start anew and build up your painting routine again, which has so much to do with muscle memory. If I am allowed to say that as well, the face ups I saw I think are nice, inspired face ups that bring out your dolls' personality, and most of us labour on that scale. That's a good place to be, and maybe a good starting point for more if all goes well, and I really wish you can see it as such one day.

Generally speaking I think this illustrates very well what a double-edged sword the BJD hobby is for people with mental health issues. So much about it is comforting and reassuring, bringing joy and peace to us. But the other side is that with its huge artistic appeal and the social media constantly seducing people into comparing their own achievements to that of virtual others (who are in actual fact totally immaterial for our own lives) the hobby can create such a self-harming level of stress. And stress makes you sick. Take care of yourselves, everyone.

 

There are no doll cops but there are cop dolls.

In anything that requires learning, practice, and skills you can't compare yours to anyone else's. And places like Instagram are notorious for everything being "perfect". You're never going to see the pictures they didn't post and how many hours of woe went in to just picking out a filter. And on the other side if someone has been doing something longer than you've been alive they're automatically going to be better simply because they've been doing it longer.

It's about doing things to the best of your ability at the time you do it. Have you improved since you began? With each try are you getting closer to what you want?

 

I for sure have agoraphobia, bipolar type 2, and ptsd. I am kinda lucky that I don't spend when hypomanic, but just plan things which are way beyond my reach (example: in one day going from "I can paint peg people bases to look like kokeshi" to "wow look at these cool ones on etsy" to "where can I buy recycled wood and a mini lathe to be like those people on etsy" to "wow there's this dude on a mountain in Japan who teaches traditional kokeshi doll making. What a dream job". Oops. Or wanting to get a degree, write whole comics in a few months, write whole books in a few months, suddenly wanting to make plans to see all my friends when I have been stuck inside for months... I get into situations ^^;;; )

Dolls are definitely an escape from ptsd feelings. It's something else to think about. I don't put any of myself into my dolls though. I don't have that link with them. They are simply beautiful and precious things to me.

However, the moment I saw Dollzone Pink Bear I felt a personal link for the first time. She just looks so sad.

I'm so sad, most of the time, even if I don't show it.

So I have her on layaway. She's gonna be the exception. She is my sad girl.

I wish I wasn't so agoraphobic, because I would like to take my dolls out more for photographs. And even when I do, being anxious means I can't focus on the composition of my photos enough. Even going in my garden is hard, and I didn't notice that one of the pics I took had some serious wonky eyes until I came inside XD

I know it's not great to self diagnose... But I have never had chance to talk to a professional about it. But I likely have bdd. (I have had some disordered eating too, once because of dysphoria, but it always passes. Kinda lucky I guess) I hate the idea that anyone might see me. If I think about it, it's too upsetting. When I see photos of myself it's so distressing - I have to try and look at a part of the photo that I'm not in and try not to make it obvious how mortified I am. I feel like a hideous monster. I don't feel like my body is my own. The only part I recognise is my hands, because I see them all the time. But I wish I could erase myself and start over - I look wrong and I don't know how to correct it. The thing in the mirror isn't me. It's an imposter.

And maybe that's why so many of my dolls are anthros ^^;;

 

If you're outside with a doll there's less of a chance people will be looking at you. Any interactions I ever had were about my dolls, what kind are they, where did they come from etc. You'll find you're too busy looking out for your doll to think all that much about your worries. No one ever took a picture of me and they didn't mind if I stepped out of the way but held on to the doll with my hand because the doll might walk away if I don't.

Now, for more information on brain stuff V.S. Ramachandran has done a lot of research might have some helpful stuff.

 

Fussing with my dolls gives me something to focus on and seeing them pristine eases my mind. I have panic attacks daily, triggers are...who knows anymore, breathing air maybe. My dolls make me feel better and sometimes my husband will play with my dolls to make me smile. I’m incredibly strange and awkward in public. I have a lot of nervous habits like pulling out my hair or scratching my face. I like to have something in my hands to keep them busy. Sometimes I’ll play with my dolls when I’m stressed or I’ll hug my stuffed cat collection. I’ve never taken my dolls outside, I’m afraid something will happen to them.

I’ve been diagnosed with depression, ADD and two types of anxiety. My family suspects more but that’s yet another doctor visit.

My favorite doll also suffers from mental illness, her habits are just different than mine. It makes me feel less alone. Of course I have loved ones but it’s comforting to have a doll like me.

 

I have bipolar 1 of the some-psychosis-most-of-the-time-for-most-of-my-life variety, and while I'm old and therapized enough that I don't necessarily *suffer* from it anymore, it does get lonely. Dolls help a bit. I think there's something about a stylized face at smaller-than-human size that gives the sanity protective "Oh! A friend!" signals without setting off the "AAAAAAA BIG FEAR" lizard-brain alarms. Ten years ago when I was at my worst and flailing along without a correct diagnosis or treatment, I used to carry a Busou Shinki (little 1:12 scale anime robot-girl dolls?) around in my pockets so I could have a smiling face to look at when the terror/despair got to be too much.

I think there's something about BJDs in particular that help drag one's brain out of its ruts. The detail, and the life-like eyes, and the way their weight/texture/resin hardness demands sensory attention.

My dolls' characters don't suffer from mental illness, but their story does have a central theme of alienation/stopped time/otherworldly entrapment that echoes how I feel watching everyones' lives move around me while I'm stuck a half-step out of consensus reality due to uncontrollable factors.

 

;o; oh wow, I feel this so much (though for different reasons). So much sympathy!

 

My mental health has been a mess for years. In 2020, I've become the least functional I could be. I had motivation for nothing.
Despite I made the choice to start recovering this year and seeing some noticeable results... I have always used a lot of tools such as writing, taking pictures, playing videogames, designing, drawing and even studying to help me not to only forget reality, it also worked to make me feel productive and useful at anything.

The only doll project I have in mind does not have the same illness as me. However, I like creating illustrations, comics and writing stories about her whose shown emotions are relatable for me.

I would consider it as a comfort item somehow. It helps me creating resources that makes me feel calm.

 

Now that someone uped the topic, I should update my mental condition too. Later in 2018 I received the diagnose of bipolar disorder.

I can say dolls help because the past years I've been taking my tinies in the pocket when I am afraid to go out alone.
2019 was a mess to me, I tried suicide many times, the medication wasnt stable yet, but the next year it got better so 2020 was a relative calm year to me, 2021 is taking the same path, but the problem is: the calm is too under the level of work a normal human should be, I still have difficult even taking bath regulary, because of corona virus and not being able of going out my anxiety of going out got worse, I'm having trouble keeping up with university (even though its better for me online). But these days I decided to bring my doll projects back, I'm back ventilating a wig for joy, and I just bought the dollhouse where I will make her room, even waking up its easier now that I have goals

 

Has anyone else ever have times when the doll hobby itself makes you anxious or gives you anxiety? I feel like I’m experiencing this feeling now. I’m not sure what to do about it. If you ever felt anxious what would you do?

 

@Yurikun - You might find this thread helpful if you haven't already seen it: /threads/what-keeps-you-going-in-this-hobby.774912/

I suppose it depends on which part of the hobby is making you anxious. For example, if seeing your dolls not "completed" is a problem, then maybe put some of them away and just focus on one for a while?

Or, if you are worried about not being able to afford future sales or missing out, then it might help to remember that no doll/purchase will make you happy forever, and even if that particular doll isn't available secondhand later, there will be others in the future. It can be good to take some time away and not feel like you need to keep up with everything.

Or if you already enjoy working on your collection but feel like your dolls/crafting isn't as good as others' then that's a different problem and one that most people face. I do for sure! But Neil Gaiman once said that there will always be someone who can write better than you, who is more creative than you, etc. but there is only one YOU and you will bring something special to the world that no one else can (I remember this because I also write and it's darn frustrating and demoralizing at times X). That is worth remembering.

I hope this helps or that you can find some other advice that will get you through this time of anxiety!