Would it offend you as a owner?

Generally, I'd say posting a WTB in the marketplace and/or other doll social media platforns would be a better option as it could encourage people who have been thinking about selling a doll to do so.
I would personally find it a bit odd if someone messaged me out of the blue asking to buy one of my dolls.

 

It really, really depends on context. Assuming that I've made no mention of selling the doll in question...

If it was out of the blue and I didn't know that person from Adam, I'd find it not at all reassuring. This person has apparently taken no time to get to know me or my dolls, they have made no move to gain my trust or proven their legitimacy, so it sounds like all they want is my doll for their own gain. I'd politely decline in a few words, ask them to not ask me such a question again, but I will note down this name as someone to be wary of.

If this person was known to me - either we've talked before, or I recognise their name from following me - I'd be more generous. Maybe take it as flattery. I'd still decline, since I've not put the doll up for sale, but I'd remember they asked.

Good doll friends who know me and my dolls well should know exactly how to behave if they genuinely want a doll I own.

Editde to add: I've thought about it a bit more, and changed my answer completely.

I think I'll be more charitable to a total stranger. They don't know me after all. I'd frown at it and be a bit wary, but I'd let it go and move on.
I'd be less charitable to someone who's known to me. In this case they should know better.

I guess the common theme is, I don't like it when anyone asks to buy a doll I haven't put on sale. They've crossed a boundary.

 

At one time, it was quite common (well, relatively) to receive messages out of nowhere asking if we'd be willing to sell this or that doll. Some people thought it was rude, others thought it was flattering. Personally I find it both flattering and a little funny. However I never accepted to sell a doll after getting such a message. And it also depends of how it is said. If the message is polite, no problem. If there is neither "hello" nor "please", then I find it rude.
Sometimes people show an interest in my dolls because of comments I make previously. Like "I wonder if I need to buy her a new outfit or I'd better sell her". Then, it's not rude in my opinion if someone asks if I can think of them if I decide to sell the doll. And I will keep them in mind indeed.

 

Easy! I would block them!

 

I wouldn't be offended. It is just a question. And if the person decided not to accept my answer, I would simply decide not to accept any more of their messages

 

I've had this, I have a doll that was pretty popular in my community a few years back and people sometimes messaged me if I could sell him to them. Sometimes it wasn't even a "would you be willing to sell?" but more a "I give you X money for him, sell him to me." The first way is usually fine to me, I tell them to just post a WTB. But the latter is extremely rude in my opinon. I even had one saying I was a horrible person for keeping him all to myself while I had more boy dolls. That was an instant block.

Overall, asking if someone was willing to sell their doll when they haven't talked about selling them is a no in this hobby. However, it is a grey area when you'd message someone saying "if you are ever thinking of selling, please keep me in mind." I think that's quite okay, but mostly with people that you know.

 

Like others have mentioned, it would greatly depend on how the question was worded and whether or not I know the person.

If it were a complete stranger who seems to be new to BJDs and they were polite, I'd assume that maybe they had come across photos of my doll by chance and that it has sparked their interest in BJDs. I would decline their offer, but also direct them to where they can find more information about BJDs. If the sculpt they are interested in is still available, I would also point out where they can get it legitimately.

If they were rude, I'd probably just block them.

And if it were someone I knew, I suppose it would depend on how they asked and what prompted them to suddenly want to buy my doll. But if, ultimately, they can't take 'no' for an answer, I guess I would have no choice but to block them as well.

 

I know of people who do this, not only as private messages but as comments on posts on social media, and I find it to be in horribly poor taste. If someone wants to sell their doll, they'll post it for sale. Otherwise it just seems kind of greedy and rude, like you just want that doll for yourself and can't just appreciate the doll as someone else's. I would be polite if someone asked me, but it would give me the ick for sure.

Now if they were a newbie and interested in my particular sculpt, I'd gladly direct them to the dealer/artist/company I got them from. I'd also be much more forgiving as newbies aren't as in tune with the BJD community and how things generally work.

 

Be very confused because none of my dolls are limited/discontinued, LOL.

For real though... probably a polite "No, they're not for sale," possibly a block if they start harassing me. I can see why someone would do it (this sort of thing happens in other hobby communities pretty frequently), so I wouldn't think it was weird, just possibly in bad taste if the person being asked has never indicated they're thinking of selling. I can see it being annoying if you just acquired a rare doll after a long search, and then you get messaged asking you to part with it!

 

I wouldn't be offended - it's not a rude comment on me or my dolls - but depending on how it's worded and which community/platform this happens in, I'd decline and see if I need to take some extra action if the conversation develops in a not-nice way. Then again, I'm really only properly interacting and posting on DoA where people mostly know how to read the room and use the dedicated marketplace.

That all being said, I don't think my dolls would be super interesting to anyone but myself

 

Like others have said, it depends on how the question was asked and where. There are situations when it may be ok, but in genereal, it's not the best way to find the doll you are looking for.
If it happened here on DoA I would report it right away as it is against the rules and I would never do busines with someone who have not even done enough research to understand (or worse; don't respect) the rules thye have agreed to follow. How would I know they would honor any other agreements they make? That would be and instant red flag to me.
This is a research heavy hobby and dolls are usually big purchases with a lot of effort and money involved, I don't think it's too much to ask that people take the time to read the room and learn the proper ways to ask for a sale. Likewise, this hobby takes patience and expectation management, you can't always get what you want right away.
If I get the feeling that someone has not understood that, I would hesitate to do busines with them.

Use the apropriate channels avaialble. Post a Want To Buy in the marketplace, link it in your signature. Hang out in the discussion thread for the doll in question and take an interest. Learn all you can about the doll and the company. Even a company no longer in business is worth learning about.
Sometimes some of their sculpts are sold to other companies that continue making them, sometimes the community has their eyes on second hand marketplaces in the country the company was active in and can advice you on agents and shopping services to get access to them and sometimes companies even come back to life.
If you have personal friends in the hobby or if you are part of a local community, let them know what you are looking for. That way they may think of you if they happens to stumble upon a sales post for the doll and let you know.

And don't give up! Most dolls will show up second hand eventually. In the meantime, save up to maximize the chances of being available to pounce on it when it does.

 

Also in the "depends how you ask" camp.
If you act like one of these entitled "please gift me your doll!!" brats you sometimes see in Instagram comments, then I'd be annoyed. Same for the ones that just crash into your DMs with no "Hello", or that keep pushing and pestering you after you declined. Especially when they get more rude and angry with every message.

However, if I just get a message from another collector who is hoping I might be interested in selling a doll I happen to own? Including a nice message, and a friendly "No problem, thanks for replying!" when I decline?
Totally fine. I understand shooting your shot, and you can never know if the current owner might have thought about selling already anyway.

I see no reason in flat out blocking someone for having the gall to ask, and I don't feel annoyed by it on principle. It's really all about the delivery of the message and how they react when I decline. I never understood why some people think it's rude or just downright lose it over these requests. I could imagine if you get daily messages like that, sure. But else? I hope they never get into the situation where they try to collect something and are forced to reach out to people in hopes one of them is willing to sell
But maybe it's because some people here think it's like being asked to sell their pet or child. At the end of the day though, especially for an outsider, it's just like asking whether you'd be willing to sell a Pokémon card from your collection or a pair of shoes.

 

What grinds my gears is when I get messages to sell a doll I don't even own. And yes that was a fad a year ago or so because some popular doll person apparently said this is how they get some of their limited dolls.

That falls under the "how you ask" category. Like at least look if I own the doll you want in the first place?

Otherwise I politely decline and move on.

 

I've never been asked that. I think I would reply a polite 'no' and then move on, but I wouldn't have a good impression of the fellow hobbyist who asked after that and would even consider blocking them depending on the way they asked and the way they react to the negative.
I'm a character-driven collector and get very attached to my dolls as to other stuff I own or collect, so for me they're not just any doll, but they are 'my character'. If a person out of the blue asks me to sell me this or that, for me it's not a 'thing I collect', but a 'someone' in my resin family...
It's only logical: if someone wishes to sell a doll, they will offer it for sale; if they do not, the doll is not for sale.

 

Perhaps from the point of view of an outsider, one pretty doll looks as much as another. But to me, my doll is my particular doll, I know what effort I've put into making it a certain kind of pretty. So the context matters, and many questions go through my head as I try to figure out the context of the ask-er, and whether the ask-er understands my context too. Question such as: What is the rationale they provide for asking me and not someone else? Why do they want to buy my doll in particular, instead of, say, asking generally about how to acquire the same sculpt that I own? Do they come across as unaware of the provenance of the sculpt, or is there some reason they're asking me specifically about my specific doll?

I'm a wary sort when it comes to matters of ownership, but I'll try to discern, from tone, whether a person is respectul, or respectful but awkward or unpolished in their phrasing, or a newbie who isn't familiar with etiquette or doll provenance in the hobby, or if they really can't read the room. In some cases I'd be more forgiving and charitable, in other cases less so. It depends greatly on context and who is doing the ask.

But in all cases I'll always have the question in my head: "why me, and why my doll?"

 

It has happened to me before but never bothered me tbh. I'd always politely decline and that's it. People will try whatever they can to get something that they want. I don't think that there is anything wrong with asking (if done in a polite way). I wouldn't do it myself but I can definitely see why people would try.

 

"Hi! Thank you for admiring my doll, but I don't sell my dolls."

^ That's how I react. I've actually had this happen to me once before. While it startled me for a second I feel that I answered them clearly and politely. They answered me back thanking me for my time, and that was it. I wasn't offended. It's nice they admired my doll enough to want to buy it.

That being said, I think it is weird to randomly message people to randomly want to buy their dolls if the person never even hinted that they want to sell their doll.

 

I can tell you that in most cases it's a simple case of "you own sculpt X and are open about it". That's it. It's not because it's you, or they want your specific doll.
It's just a numbers game. If there are ten of a doll out in the world, and you know five people that own this doll (because they post pictures of it, got it in their bio, posted a box opening long ago), that's the five people you will contact when it gets dire

It's rare that people fall in love with YOUR doll to the point they dare asking if you'd sell it. Your as in, the whole package with the customization VS just the sculpt. That's because the majority of people in the hobby know it's kinda frowned upon/the character is not sold with the doll. The only people that dare to ask for your doll usually fall above the unhinged Insta kids or the ones that will not take your no as an answer. Those usually become pretty obvious from their initial message though

 

Sorry for making a detour here and I'm new to BJDs. Does this mean that people usually wipe the dolls they sell?

 

What @idrisfynn said.
The whole customization also includes way more than just the face-up. It's the eyes, wigs, clothes, overall presentation. The more elaborate and customized those are, the harder it is to replicate the full look of course as well.

Most of the time people either sell the doll blank, or at most the face-up stays on, but that's it. It's very unlikely they sell the whole doll as they owned it.
If they wipe, it's usually because it might help with the sale (if the faceup isn't good) or because the person does not want to sell on a face that looks like their OC. It is rarely wiped when it's a custom face-up of certain quality or from a certain artist, unless again the owner just doesn't want to give away the doll while it looks too much like their OC (especially when they plan to get another doll to replace it and/or the design of the faceup is very elaborate).
It is pretty much never wiped when the face-up is default from the company, both for collecting purposes but also...it's not really unique. The OC connection is not really there, when there are dozens of dolls with exactly the same face.

 

I find it extremely offensive and out of touch.

 

@idrisfynn @Ara Thanks! I am not interested in second-hand for the time being but I'm fascinated by the character shelling aspect. Isn't it pretty much the opposite with Japanese vinyl dolls? As far as I know, there's a bit of a character cult associated with dolls and which is why the auctions for customs tend to skyrocket.

 

It happens. I personally find it really annoying, and I tell people they’ll know I’m willing to sell when I make a sales post.

 

Someone cold DM'ed me a couple of years back. They said they loved (rare doll sculpt I own,) and especially liked my doll with her particular face up. And to keep them in mind should I ever want to sell my doll.

I never responded, blocked, or deleted them. However I was, and still am, annoyed that someone would offer to buy a doll of mine outside the Marketplace.

 

This has happened to me before.

A person that I didn't know PM'd me about one of my dolls that they'd seen in a photo story I'd posted. They commented on how cute he was, and asked if I'd be willing to sell him, and if so, how much would I want. I was a bit shocked and quite frankly started to panic just a little bit. This was back before I know about my neurodivergence, and had a wee bit of a freakout for a hot second. After I'd managed to pull my head together and realize it was really a compliment on my doll, I wrote back, kindly informing them that I could never part with him. they were quite gracious, and did add that IF I ever changed my mind, to let them know.

I won't... ever.

Edit: Just to be clear though, I wasn't offended.

 

A lot of doll communities very much revolve around the basic idea of "collecting, for collecting sake".
That means buying all of a certain release, or buying all versions of doll X, or just simply buying a lot of dolls overall. That's also because a lot of other dolls are made by just one company, which supports this collecting itch. You can get more than one vinyl based 1/6 fashion doll (like Barbie, Tonner etc.), but if you want a Blythe? You gotta buy a Blythe. And then you buy more Blythe, because you really like that Blythe look.
BJDs meanwhile are made by many, many different companies and artists. While people do tend to prefer a handful of artists/companies, it's rare that you will actually meet a true collector here (i.e. someone that for example aims to own all Soom MDs, or every Fairyland MNF etc.). Most of us have a mix of artists at home, because...well, we got the options, but also because the whole OC thing usually kind of demands that you have to branch out a bit if you don't want everyone to look the same. It's a cycle, basically. BJDs allow for this type of OC-led collecting, which in turn attracts people that are interested in that kind of thing, which in turn makes this OC thing even more prevalent in our community, and so on.

From dabbling in other communities (Blythe, Pullip, DDs), and watching even more from afar, I'd argue the BJD community is the one that cares about this whole OC culture (and what that means when collecting dolls) the most. That also explains why here people tend to react more emotionally when asked whether they'd sell a specific doll.
We tend to buy blank dolls to customize them to look like our characters, or we commission someone to paint our doll for us for the same result. You also have the ones that buy finished full-sets, or at least default face-ups, but from experience the ones that tend to do that often keep further customizing the doll (the DD people do the same).
Meanwhile with Blythe for example you have the people that enjoy buying the stock releases, and the ones that buy finished customs as a kind of "art collecting" extra hobby. Blythe also have like a handful of molds that slightly differ from each other, the customization is EVERYTHING and often includes extensive modification of the facial features. You can't compare that to hundreds of BJD sculpts available, and the only customization done to it is a technically temporary face-up. Some of these collectors are SO fixated on a specific custom from a specific artist, that they will go extreme lengths to obtain it...and I am not just talking about the prices some of these customs go for. The artists tend to come up with names/characters for their customs as well, and they usually keep those in their new homes. That's how you end up with a doll named "Sophie" that's been with owner number 4 by now, that still looks the same as she did when the artist put her up for sale and that everyone in the community knows as "Sophie from Artist XY". It is also very much understood that one is not "just" a doll customizer, you are an artist that sells finished art pieces the buyer is supposed to treat as such.
Pullips are similar-ish, but because of their lower price point and the fact that their collectors are on average a lot younger than Blythe collectors, it's a lot less intense over there. A lot-lot less

We don't really have that "art piece" culture, because our OCs are often so specific that we do not care about adopting your "Sophie". We prefer to buy a blank canvas to make it our own, or we buy your half-finished painting because we wanted to paint that sky exactly the same way anyway and now just gotta add some happy little trees to finish it. We don't care about your artistic vision, because we buy a doll because of our own vision.

As a face-up artists that can be VERY frustrating, because very few BJD face-up artists ever manage to sell finished heads for high prices. BJD heads are expensive on their own, and most people only want to buy a painted head if it works for their OC. The face-up artists I know that achieve good prices, but still nowhere near close to Blythe customs for example, usually tend to paint popular heads in a popular style for that community. Like MNF heads, painted in a style that is super popular with MNF collectors. The buyer would have most likely commissioned that exact same face-up anyway, if they had sent that specific head to the artist.
There is a lack of cult for specific artists, a lack of "buying a custom for the sake of collecting a piece of art by artist XY". The only BJD artists that managed to achieve that kind of cult for their work, are the ones that are making high-fashion BJDs (like PashaPasha). Which is mostly the case because they are favored by people that come from the vinyl 1/6 high-fashion dolls...which surprise, surprise, have that type of culture there. I don't think the classic BJD collector cares for them as much.
Oh, and some of the Japanese/Chinese face-up artists, but that is mainly because the whole attitude towards artists over there is very different. Within the western community BJD face-up artists are just seen as "service providers", or painting robots. Customer send you head, they pay money, you paint what they want. There is no fighting over slots because they truly wish to own an art piece from you. There is no "of course I pay 500 bucks for an artist choice face-up, I truly just want to own something painted by you!" attitude to be found here

Before I stop, since you asked about those Japanese vinyl dolls (most of them are Dollfie Dreams, so I will stick to them now): in their case most of the releases are of licensed characters. You do have some finished basic models that do not represent licensed characters, but they are really just a handful So next to the regular collectors you got a lot of people that basically just buy a doll for the sake of owning a gigantic action figure of their favorite character. I wouldn't really call those doll collectors, they are more of a character X collector.
Anyway, because of this licensed character situation, most of the available head sculpts are character-tied. So you have a couple basic heads you can always buy, but if you wanted that face with that bigger nose and :} mouth? You gotta buy the Rise Kujikawa Persona 4 doll. Good luck if your fav face belonged to a popular anime waifu that was released five years ago That also means it can be a little frowned upon sometimes to wipe a head, because the stock face-up is part of the full-set/character, and for people that are regular collectors that of course matters.
Since the basic/licensed models are shipped painted, a lot of people are content just doing the whole "default face, rest is custom" route. They either think of it as "Hatsune Miku, but I dress her up in other stuff ", or "this is my OC, she just happens to have the face of Hatsune Miku LOL". People are just happy to have a doll with a decent face, most of the time.
Now the customs...well. I'd argue there is a huge difference between the Japanese community side of things there, and...well, everywhere else. Nobody cares for any western DD face-up artist to that degree. Only for the Japanese artists people fight on Yahoo!Japan and pay 150000 yen or more for a single head that originally cost 50 bucks. Even if you would have the same quality as them, there is very much a personality cult involved as well, and being able to say you own something from elusive artist X.
But once again I'd argue the people who go out of their way for these kind of customs are on a different wave than the vast majority of other collectors in the same doll community. We all got our multitudes

Whooooops, that got very long.
Gotta stop here now, it's off-topic anyway

 

I have seen the opposite happening (or heard from someone who told me about this.) Someone in the Chinese doll collecting circle dresses up their dolls (usually just one or two at a time) and put in a lot of effort to make this specific doll "internet famous". This way, even if it was a more common sculpt, this person can sell their doll as they have styled it and ask for a higher price. The buyer wouldn't just get "a doll of this sculpt" but "this specific character shelled into this doll."

Kinda ingenious, really.

But for someone who shells OC characters into their dolls, asking me if I'd sell my doll would be similar to "Can I buy your character off of you?" in my mind. I don't think being offended is the reaction I would have, but it would definitely be a shock to the system. Responding politely and gently is always the right way to go, I find. But if you ask me about how I would feel... I'm going to say it's going to feel really, really weird.

 

I'd find it incredibly odd and a little rude if I've never given any indication I'm thinking of selling them, mostly because I can't imagine myself doing that to someone. There are marketplaces and sales groups for that kind of thing, so I'd just look/ ask there instead of cold messaging someone to ask if they'd sell something to me. I guess it might depend on if i know the person (as in we follow each other or they follow me and I've seen their name before) or if it's a completely random person. How they asked would be a factor in how i act in return. If it's completely random and they don't even start with a hello? They're getting blocked; it comes across as scammy to me.

 

Totally depends on the situation.

If it's polite, I'll gently turn them down. If it's rude...probably just NO and block them. I wouldn't say I'd be offended more annoyed than anything.

I'd be more likely to consider if it's a friend, or someone I "know" either as a follower or just seeing them active in the hobby and they have a good reputation. Even if I still don't want to sell, I'd make a note to contact that person if/when I'm ready to sell. I have done this. I do tend to buy and sell a lot, so it's actually pretty nice to not have to bother listing a doll and just contact that person and be done with it! (Assuming it's done somewhere this is allowed, not on a forum or group that does not allow transactions outside the marketplace.)

Also wording it like "If you ever decide to sell this doll, would you consider contacting me?" is much preferred to "How much for that doll?" when it's not for sale.

But even asking rudely is still not as bad as just demanding it. It's been more than a decade and I still haven't forgotten the person who flat out told me to give them a doll because it "wasn't fair" that I had so many.

 

Is it ok?
If it’s a doll they’ve owned for a long time and never ever post pictures of:maybe. like, hard maybe.

Is it disrespectful?
If it’s a doll they clearly love, post lots of pictures of, and clearly put thought and care into customizing: yes, it is disrespectful.

I think of it as walking into someone’s room, picking something up, and asking “can I have this?”

 

Thanks for the post, it was a great read

Seems the same as in Japan with vinyl dolls. It's interesting that it's all about a different mindset toward artists.

 

I’m also in the ‘Depends on the manner in which they ask’ camp with this. It’s only offensive if the person asking is being offensive.

I know it sounds a bit snobbish and is probably due to my age but if all I got was a brief message with no introduction, no punctuation, no please or thank you and a few badly spelled or even worse, abbreviated words then that message, comment or whatever would be completely ignored. I also hate the use of ‘Plz’ and ‘Thx’ as to me they don’t feel as if they are meant in any way. If someone doesn’t care enough to be polite then they certainly aren’t showing that they have the capacity to actually care for the doll in question.
Messages such as “I like ur doll plz sell it too me cuz I wont it n I dun hav much money cuz (insert sob story) n u got to sell it cheaper plz” instantly put my hackles up and yes I have actually had that kind of message on more than one occasion! Not on here thankfully though. They get firmly but politely declined at first but any subsequent barrage of pleading or abuse is met with appropriate wrath and action.

What I will entertain is a comment or remark, obviously not in here as it is against the rules, where someone says something such as “Aww I love her, she reminds me of such and such. If you ever need to rehome her give me a shout!” because it indicates an attachment, is made in a friendly way and is a suggestion not a demand.
I’m sort of in this situation just now but having difficulty contacting the person who asked

It doesn’t hurt to ask as long as you’re polite and respectful, good manners cost nothing after all.

 

I think it also kind of depends on who you are asking. Are you inquiring about a beloved OC character that you want to buy, or are you giving a lead to someone who generally buys and flips dolls regularly? There are people who I think could be politely asked and they would appreciate the heads up, as well as people who are very attached to the dolls that have been customized with lots of care and love.

As for myself, if someone were to ask me on Instagram, I might be receptive because I see them more as projects to complete. I have some that hold sentimental value, and I don’t expect someone unaware of that fact to read my mind. I’d point them in the direction of the artist or dealers. Once I complete a doll the way I like it, sometimes it’s perfect, and I want to display it. Sometimes it’s underwhelming and I’m not pleased with it, and I decide to sell it. I would much rather have a buyer lined up in those situations, but that is incredibly rare that they would want something at the same time I would want to sell. It never works out like that lol but otherwise I would be flattered and actually delighted to help someone find the doll they are looking for. I also don’t care if people copy my dolls, so I might be in the minority on this. I just see them more as art projects and display objects than anything else. Occasionally they pull at my heartstrings but it’s very rare that one becomes “real” and loved like the velveteen rabbit

 

It wouldn't offend me if it was polite and they took no for an answer. It's a bit bold, but you never know until you ask. Now, persistent or rude questioning even after a "no" has been given? Absolutely offensive. Instant block.

 

Yes, this would come across as incredibly rude most of the time. My dolls are my dolls. If they don’t have an MP listing, they’re not for sale. I recently had someone on Instagram DM me to give them one of my dolls, which I’d argue is ruder, but honestly, their comment would have been equally unwelcome if they’d offered me money.

There are two times I make an exception to this. Number one is for a friend, who has said that if ever I sell the dolls I’ve made of our DnD party, he’d appreciate it if I let him know and let him buy them first. I don’t mind this because this is a close friend who I talk to on the regular about things that are not dolls, he’s not pressuring me to sell them right now, and we were talking about how I regularly sell dolls to reshell characters, so he didn’t ambush me with the topic. The dolls are also related to a shared activity—they’re OUR characters, not just mine, so it makes sense that he’d have some feelings about the dolls. We agreed that I’d give him first dibs if ever I sold any of them, and he’s now trying to shell the same characters out in different sculpts that he likes better.

the second scenario I didn’t mind it in was I had just sold someone a head, and she just asked that I notify her if I ever sell the other head I have by the same maker. She’d just bought a doll from me, so our relationship was just about sales, and she wasn’t pushy, and didn’t try to talk me into selling, she just stated her interest. I have her name jotted down in case I ever have to sell that head.

Most of the time though, it’s unwelcome because you’re entitling yourself to something that’s not yours. And because if there’s any attempt at persuasion in there, it reads as trying to push someone into a sale they don’t want. Especially if you talk at length about how you’ve searched for the sculpt and you’d give it a really good home, honest. I don’t want to be told that someone else would love one of my dolls more than I do, and I don’t appreciate the feeling of being pressed to sell something.

Before I got my Twigling ingenieuse (a sculpt that’s quantity-limited, and was only released once in 2014), I followed someone on Instagram that owned I think two or three of them, and another person that owned one of them. I also unfollowed both of them at one point when the want for that doll made it hard to see others that had her but only posted occasional photos of her. Because me wanting their dolls wasn’t their problem, and I would rather I not get to see the doll often to the chance that I would message either of them asking about her. I got mine in the end, by listing a wtb ad in the marketplace, and bumping it for a year and a half until someone saw it that was willing to part with theirs.

in short, you can eventually get whatever sculpt you want. Post a WTB listing rather than messaging people that have what you want.

 

If someone messaged me about purchasing one of my dolls, I would respond by saying I'm flattered but that she's not for sale. Most of my social followers know that my account is not for selling but for sharing my passion for the hobby. This is an interesting question/situation and one that I have not yet encountered.

 

In my opinion, it’s tacky and rude to ask someone you don’t know to sell you anything of theirs that isn’t clearly for sale.

Posting a “want to buy” in FB groups, instagram, & DoA marketplace is the route to go

 

To add onto this, I wouldn't say it's out of line if a friend or friendly acquaintance mentions thinking about selling a doll, and you say, "Hey, if you decide to, I'd be interested. Please think of me if you do." You're not putting the pressure on them to decide or to sell, but you're letting them know that they would have an interested party if they did. I've done this with people I've bought from and traded with before, and they've done it with me too. We weren't hobby friends persay, but we had good business together, and it worked out in our favor.

...I haven't had a lot of these over the years, but just enough to still feel salty that much faster every time it happens again. My favorite is still the random person who messaged me asking for an Elfdoll Vivien, even though I hadn't owned one in years and had never posted pictures on that social media. How...?

 

Oh yeah, I'd say that's perfectly acceptable! My sister and I are both in the hobby and we're at a point where we tell each other before selling a doll just in case the other wants it! I've had agreements with friends too that if one of us ever considers selling a certain doll, we'll let the other know first. If I casually mentioned considering selling a doll on social media, I'd be honored if one of my followers took that chance to let me know they'd like to give it a new home if I do decide to let it go. I think it's mostly only rude if it's a total stranger and you've given no hints of maybe wanting to sell.

What the hell? That's so weird! I'd be so confused. Though while not asking to have the doll, I have tracked down a random stranger and asked if they'd be ok sharing pics of a super super rare grail of mine just because there were only 2 or 3 ever made and no owner photos....so I might be a weirdo, too...

 

It depends on if I want to sell the doll in question. But also how they ask, if they can provide feedback, etc.

 

My first initial reaction is to be super offended, especially since I don't talk about parting with or selling any dolls with anyone. Even if they asked nicely, it would bother me so much since I am very attached to my current crew, and it takes a lot of time for me even think about selling anyone, so having someone message me asking (even if it's nicely) bothers me a lot.

 

It doesn't irritate or offend me at all. I've been contacted a handful of times for some of the LE dolls I've owned, and I've always let them know that I wasn't interested in selling, but that if my decision ever changed, they would be the first to know.

For me - while I do love my dolls, I view them as collector items. So I totally understand why some collector's try this method if they're in search of something rare/sought after. However, I think regardless - everyone is in full agreement that manners do matter. I can't imagine anyone would be pleased if someone approached them rudely about selling their doll - but a simple "Hello, I really admire your **** doll. If you every consider selling him/her please keep me in mind, Thanks" is a really harmless message.

Of course, to anyone who chooses this method - not everyone is receptive to these types of messages. I personally have never sent something like this (because it's against the rules here), but if I did - I would probably look at the user's profile to see if they have stated that they do not want those types of messages. Additionally, you just have to be ready to take some lumps. Not everyone likes it, and that's their prerogative as well.

 

my reaction would really depend on how politely they ask (although a negative answer is likely either way). I'd probably match the tone in which they asked. And if they get insistent/rude, the block option is there.

 

I wouldn't be offended unless the person was rude or demanding. I love the dolls I have, but if someone asked to buy them, I'd just let them know where to purchase them new (if possible) or let them know I'd think of them if I ever saw the sculpt come up on the secondhand market. I don't really see a reason to be offended by the question itself. I've had people stop me on the street before to ask where I got clothes I was wearing, and I don't find that any more offensive, haha. To me, "Can I buy your doll?" is just a more awkward way of asking, "Where can I buy your doll's sculpt?" It's really not about my doll, just the sculpt itself.

Everyone has different comfort levels. Some people are more okay with certain questions than others. I'm not easily offended, and I tend to read messages I receive in the kindest light possible. But this is the internet: If I don't want to interact with or talk to someone for whatever reason, I can just block them, and they're no longer in my life. If someone is being a jerk or giving weird vibes, I just block them.

 

I think offend would be too strong of a word. I hate saying no, so having to do that would be very stressful. I don't know if I could even respond.

 

Honestly depends, some random person with a rude message of sell me your doll would be a huge no and block, someone taking the time to be polite and say hey if you ever sell them please let me know would be seen more favorably. Because yea sometimes in the hobby people change what dolls they have.

 

I've had a few people ask me this and it full depends on how they ask, but I wouldn't say I get offended. I get passively "offended" if someone asks me to sell my most important dolls since dolls are extremely personal to me, but nothing that would make me rude to them. They don't know and it's honestly kind of funny.

On the flip side, I've been the person to ask before (not here, but on Flickr back in the day or FB/IG) and I've found some extremely rare dolls and big grails that way. I never directly asked, but instead would say something along the lined of "IF you ever sell them, please keep me in mind" with a kind message. Some people decided to sell to me on the spot and others did keep me in mind. Some people might not want to list something because it's a lot of effort, or not knowing they want to sell something, but then decide it really is okay when they think about it or get asked.

But I want to emphasize I would never directly ask, nor would I expect anything by asking, I just wanted to be kept in mind if they ever did for the future. Just in case. Some people didn't respond well, but most did. The ones who didn't respond kindly and DID take offence hurt me not because I didn't get the doll obv, but because I unintentionally caused them stress and bothered them. So that sucked.

You just have to word yourself carefully and not expect anything or beg. But, otherwise, no I personally wouldn't be offended. But I do love hunting and LOVE keeping people in mind as an extra pair of eyes! So I would offer them to keep a sharp eye out!

 

I would be creeped out and probably block them. It's weird to scour someone's purchases/collection with the intent of trying to buy them... If someone wants to sell a doll, they'd say so somewhere. Asking to buy a doll that's not listed for sale feels entitled.

 

I would not be offended at all if someone asked me but I would not ask someone because I know some people have strong feelings about it. Since it is against the rules on this forum and I’ve seen it mentioned on some doll groups, I get the feeling it is not generally appropriate. When you think about it, it’s like going to a museum and trying to buy a painting when there’s an art show/sale going on down the street. There are places to buy dolls, why are you trying to shop someone’s collection?

 

well I plan to sell many of my dolls so I might be perfectly happy to someone telling me that but even if it is a doll I plan to keep I wouldn't mind if the question was asked respectfully , now if they were like "I'll give you X money for that doll sell it to me" this is not very respectful but I won't lie it all depends how big this X ammount of money is like if it's 100 for a discontinued doll I don't intent to sell (sorry typo error had to correct it) I would be offended if it was 500 I wouldn't like it but I wouldn't be offended if it was 5000 it's another story completely .... the more the zeros behind the first non-zero number the more understanding I'll be

 

I see from the comments that I'm in the minority...
I once asked a person about if she **ever were** to sell her one specific doll, if she were kind enough to reach out to me first. Not whether, specificially, she'd sell the doll.
Another time, I reached out to another person to ask if they're still looking for a grail long after we taled about that, because I had that doll before I put it on sale.
If someone emailed me now asking, I'd kindly thank for something I'd take as a compliment (I usually don't have limiteds .... 2 heads... so one can easily have what I have from elsewhere) and just refuse or promise to contact if I ever change my mind.

What's the big deal? It's not like someone was asking if I'd give my cute baby away... there are just resin toys, not animals or human babies.

 

It's happened enough with both dolls and fashion that I no longer get upset and laugh it off at this point. I guess if you've been searching forever, you might just reach desperate measures like actually messaging someone who is clearly still enjoying the doll. How's the quote go? You miss 100% of the shots you don't take? I 110% understand why many people think it's rude and would either not respond or block you. At the end of the day, it's simply rude to ask such a thing.

 

I have to confess that I commented that on several posts on Instagram when I was a newbie, but the issue is that a lot of people used to put the hashtag for sale in the descriptions. Sometimes, they were actually selling the clothes, but often it wasn't related or wasn't specified what they were selling.

 

I've seen that a lot too. It's frustrating to see when you're explicitly looking to buy something, and then something that's not for sale is in the sales tags. I would hope that people who mistag in that way also aren't offended when someone inquires if something is for sale...

 

Maybe a little flattered and irritated at the same time, but probably give them an outrageous number
If you want to buy this doll from me, you need to give me $2,000! Yes I know she was only like $200 when I got her. That's genuine turquoise embedded into her face and it took me forever to find the right piece that wasn't just dyed howlite or reconstituted! (5 years of scouring gemshows to be exact)

 

It depends on the tone of the message.

If I got one that said "hey, I love your doll, if you ever consider selling it please keep me in mind," that would be fine, I think. On the other hand, one of those that's like "hey, let me buy your doll for $50" or something similarly presumptive and rude, that would not be fine. One is coming from a place of genuine admiration for my collection and is making a request, the other is entitled and demanding.

That said, I'm also not someone who tags my stuff with sales hashtags unless they're actually, y'know, for sale. If you're going to tag your non-sales post with sales-related tags to get more reach, you bring it on yourself.