What to do when your parents don't "like" your dolls?

I had the same issue, my mother kept complaining about how much I'd spent on dolls so I said to her "there's money that goes into savings, and then there's money that goes into having fun" and that pretty much ended that conversation.

 

My parents HATE my BJDs. But, I don't care now. I just do not talk with them about my hobby and I do not go out my dolls when my parents are at home.
I never talk about money with them. It's my salary I do what I want with it.

 

I intend on hiding my dolls from my parents when they arrive for as long as I can ;-; other than that, once they discover them I will just try my best to keep my dolls away from them and out of their sight

 

@littleraeven Just thought I'd give you an update since we're around the same age+were in the same situation; I recently told my parents about my BJD since I ordered her and when I told them the price all I got was an "Oof" and then was told that if I really wanted her it was fine, to take very good care of her because she was expensive, to limit my spending for the year on things I didn't need, and to send pictures! Really surprising because I expected sighing and complaining on my dad's end at least!

 

I think this thread is for people younger than me. I graduated from college long time ago and have a full time job lol.

I've always wanted to have a resin bjd. But knowing the expenses, I couldn't allow myself to enter the hobby while my parents are working hard to pay for my tuition and boarding. Having said that, I bought my first doll when I got my first tax return lol.

A month ago, my mom visited me and just saw my dolls for the first time. Even I have a job, she still thinks that these dolls/wigs/clothes/shoes are expensive AF and that I should save my money for better stuff. So the moral my story is that no matter how old you are and no matter how much money you make, parents are parents.

FUN FACT: My mom liked my Miadoll Soo so much that she took him back home with her xDDDDDDDDDDDD.

 

That's good that they seem to be okay with it! I think when I get my doll I'm literally just going to order her, wait till she arrives and explain what she is and explain how happy she is going to make me and hopefully they'll understand.

 

My mother HATED it at first. She said that they were creepy, ugly, for children, and too expensive. I moved out and now she wants to see pictures of the clothes I sew for them! Next time I visit home, my dolly is coming with me.

 

My parents just poked at them, thought they were weird and then continued on. Every now and then we discuss how much they cost me but that's mostly due to my thoughts of selling them.

 

I have the same issue and basically, parents will never understand XD. All my mom complains about is the price. I think my dad thinks it's creepy, but that's why I wanted one in the first place. To freak friends out lol. But I understand where our mom's are coming from and even I think it's expensive sometimes, but if you love your doll it doesn't matter one bit.

 

Well, I did tell both my parents that I love the dolls and they were ok with it. But knowing how my father is, when I get my first bjd, he's just gonna keep commenting on it and stuff. He's probably gonna make fun of me for it.

 

My parents were just, "Eh, it's your money" and moved on. My mother when she saw mine in person thought she was really pretty, and helped me change her outfit. She's kind of grossed out by the eyes when they're removed (either the gaping holes in the face, or the eyes in your hand) but otherwise thinks it's cool.

 

Haha.. yeah. I understand how you feel I don't like to tell people about amounts of dolls because their is so much explaining but for those who do find out, I tell them it's really like paintings. Basically a a ever changing painting that can be customised (wigs, clothes, eye chips) as your art preferences changes. So like how no one can agree on the best art, I like "this art" and though not everyone can appreciate it I do

 

My mum doesn't know how many dolls I have. If I want to show her something I show the clothes without them being worn by the dolls. I don't show her the dolls anymore. Long ago, when I started (and they really looked like crap xD) she was annoyed by how ugly they were.

Now they are pretty but more expensive (I don't set limits like before, because I'd rather pay a ltitle more and have a doll I like competely and so her 'new' problem with them is that they're expensive.

But it's the same when I buy myself some new clothes, shoes or anything. Even my car for her is just a ridiculour expense but she's the first to jump in when I go downtown. Sooo... I stopped to show off. The less she knows the better.

I never did drugs, rarely had problems at school (not that she'd care anyway) but in her opinion, I've always been a 'tough' kid when it comes to my hobbies... I used to be fascinated by all kinds of those glittery crazy 1980s bands and so on... I dressed like them, I painted them and I listened to them. I still like it because I wouldn't be what I am today without the music I listened to 10 years ago. Still, I never enjoyed a neutral/i'm-okay-with-that attitude. So over the years I stopped to care.

 

I was really lucky to have a mother that collected dolls when she was my age so she was fine with it. My father however made it clear that he did not like it. I just don't talk about it with him and talk to my mum about my doll plans.

 

I ignore them, though, my dad is chill about it. Their opinion doesn't matter to me if they don't like my dolls. If I'm happy that's all that matters anyways.

 

My mom hated them because at the time I was a college student living under her roof and working a steady part time job.

My first doll was a $220 ResinSoul Feng 70cm boy. I was super excited as I thought it was a great bargain, considering other more expensive dolls out there. I was foolish enough to tell my mom the price and she went ballistic. She hated the utterly expensive, useless dolls and she was quite nasty about voicing her dislike.

Still, I did buy a few dolls while under her roof (much more expensive dolls) that I kept hidden until I moved out. Now she calls them pretty, but I still believe she thinks them a waste of time and money.

 

My parents don't approve, but then again, they don't approve of much of what I do anyway. As I am an adult and live halfway across the country from them, the topic rarely comes up. My mom did become a bit more understanding as she found out some of her friends collect dolls (like Madame Alexander or Barbies).

 

Kick them out! (The parents, not the dolls.)

I kid, I kid. Honestly, best advice I can give is: don't let it get under your skin. If you bought it with your own money and are being sensible about finances then it's none of their concern. They can loudly proclaim how much they hate your dolls if they want and you can learn to ignore them. Not everyone is going to understand your hobbies, and parents in particular have a way of saying insensitive things they don't realize are insensitive. If you learn to deflect unkind remarks now, you'll have an advantage later in life.

 

My parents do not like my dolls, but they won't force me to quit. I use my own money to buy the things i want. Although they think I could save those money for further use, but it still my call. For the owners who use their parents money to purchase dolls, I do think they could ask them quit. The best way to stop others judge your decision is use your own money.

 

I don't think my mom even knows I have any? But I don't live with her, I live with my dad, and he's seen my SD (butt naked at box opening, too!) He's used to my eccentricities though, and he doesn't judge me on what I spend my money on, because he'd be one to talk, ha.

If either of them did want to try to say something I'd just be like, uh, it's my money, look at what you spend your money on that I don't care for/understand/think is stupid. Not everyone likes the same things. They can get over it.

 

I live with my parents, because it’s cheap, but I pay rent and take care of landscaping. They know I can afford this hobby so they don’t care. My mom thinks they’re beautiful.

It’s kind of funny, I can’t mow the lawn right now due to physical issues, so I had to fight with them over me paying for a lawn service to do it, rather than have them help pay. That’s part of my responsibilities, I pay for it!

Upside is, you only have to live with your parents until you’re an adult, after that? Who cares!

 

They would not like her if I were to tell the the cost.

 

Unfortunately, many parents treat their children like something they own, kinda like continuations of themselves, not separate human beings. According to that mindset, kids are only allowed to like what their parents approve, nothing more. I sincerely hope this is not your case. You could try to explain how this hobby helps you develop your creativity, that it’s not just a child’s toy but an art object. Don’t be aggressive and\or defensive about it, just rational. Good luck!

 

I... am lucky not to live my parents, so it's not much of a factor. However, they do know I collect other 'toys,' and are not overly happy about that. They were more vocal back in the day when I either lived with them or when they thought I'd be moving back in, but since that time they've moved to be quietly judgmental, which I care less about. I'm sure one would say, 'So creepy!' if they knew, and the other would say, 'Couldn't you just buy a Barbie for $7?'

 

My father doesn't approve of my dolls, but I am used to him not approving of my life. I have to use their shipping address when ordering things because my apartment's post office box is in the middle of nowhere and the apartment itself is hard to find so I am terrified of having the person delivering a doll leave it somewhere I can't find it, so it's kind of obvious when I'm getting a doll, even though I don't live with my parents.

It is irritating, though, when he looks at my male dolls and insists they are girls. But, I am dealing with that.

He can't say my Immortality of Soul Doctor Strange is a girl. Just not possible.

 

yeah... my mom is not exactly thrilled about my dolls, but she doesn't say much about it. however, i never tell her the real prices of my dolls. my father passed away before i started the hobby though, so i don't know how he'd react, but i have always been a manga geek since i was young & he was okay with it.

 

I'm old enough to be a granny myself, so my parents are both gone. But I know that if they were still alive, they would really liked my dolls.
My parents were always very supportive of any hobby I took up. Also, my husband is no longer alive, but I KNOW he would have loved BJDs. He would have collected them himself. He was a sculptor, and probably would have designed his own BJD.

 

I think my entire family is kind of about my dolls, especially since I've accumulated so many. My dad thankfully has a supportive "I don't get it, but we're both hobbyists and that's cool" sort of attitude (he collects model trains) but my sisters are more judgmental. I get the same UGH ANOTHER DOLL??? HOW EXPENSIVE WAS THAT ONE??? reaction every time. But I think that's mostly because I used to have a ton of spare money lying around that they could take advantage of, so I just mock them about how much they spend on experimental face masks and skin moisturizers and concealers and hair dye jobs.

 

I still live with my family since I'm on disability, but I'm long past the point of caring about what my parents think of my hobbies. The rest of my family doesn't know aside from my uncle, who is neutral on my collecting. Everyone in this house collects something anyways.

 

I have yet for anyone to tell me my dolls are weird or act like they don't like them. As long as I like them my family seems to like them. Or at least supportive of it. It's not like they would have a say since I buy them myself, but even if they didn't I guess ignoring them is the best you can do.

 

As I'm a grown up woman, I would not let the opinion of my parents decide over what I like. Everyone has a hobby and every hobby costs an amount of money. Even when you think somebody elses hobby is a waste of money, somebody else thinks the same about yours. So in the end there is nothing to do when parents don't like our hobby. Everyone has opinions and tastes, so if they won't like dolls: ok! Still gonna buy them :P!

 

I think my mum saw my door when she came into my room to put some stuff. She must have thought that she had a creepy son.

 

My mom thinks my hobby is a little creepy, but she accepts that it's my money and my decision.

 

Mom knew well about my purchase but at first, she can't seem to rationalize my purchase. Like your situation OP, she thought of other stuffs I could've bought or spent the money on. But months passed and she just kinda accepted my doll's presence there, even wanting me to buy him a companion or something (she wants me to buy a gal but eh, boys for life lol)

 

My parents do not know about the cost. They just appear in my room one day and they can't do anything about it but complain on how I have too much stuff already. If they knew the cost I'm sure there would be some yelling.

 

I still live near my parents, but not in the same house. My dad does not really know about it but he is having his own expensive hobbies and collected all sorts of things during his life and my mother is probably just more-or-less-happy about me having a hobby which fits for a daughter rather than a son (at least that is what she thinks of it).
Well, everytime the topic comes up, she keeps on teasing me about the fact that I did not like dolls back when I was a kid, which is not true, because I had countless action-figures etc. but she thinks of the baby-kind of dolls...

I try to avoid the topic... I spend my money the way I like to and I don't need anyone to judge me for collecting things that make me happy. There are so much worse things to spend time and money on... some come on...

 

My dad thinks they're odd but interesting in their uniqueness. My mom is indifferent to the dolls themselves, but since she's the co-owner of my parents' business that's in charge of finances she's rather frugal and can't understand why I'd put so much money into a doll.

 

Umm I don’t know.... cuz my dad actually liked my boy. ٩(˃̶͈̀௰˂̶͈́)و

 

my dad thinks im idiotic wasteing my money on plastic XD i then correct him on the fact that they are resin n that if im earning the money for them it shouldnt bother him because its not like im dipping into his bank for them im 20 but i live at home so get alot of werid looks from my dad for wanting them (dont actually currently have any but when i go back to work i will)

 

Polyurethane resin, which is a type of plastic. Yes, I'm being pedantic but still...

If you're living at home then presumably your living costs are heavily subsidized. The money that you're spending on luxuries is money that you could be using to support yourself. If that is the case then you are costing them money, albeit indirectly.

 

People who aren’t into dolls or collectibles can’t understand the price at all. I don’t even try to discuss price of anything expensive with people who I KNOW will not understand. Example: I have a purebred ragdoll cat, and when people ask how much money he cost I simply say “a lot of money”. When I lived with a roommate who was afraid of dolls I put my doll away unless I was alone. If she came in unexpextedly, I would turn the doll so it was facing away from her. Maybe you could do something similar

 

I was in college when I bought my first doll. I paid my own tuition, lived on campus, and had a job, but my mom guilted me so much over the price of bjds that I saved the full total for my first doll three times before I bought her (the first two times, I just transferred the money from my savings jar with a picture of the doll on it to my bank account, the third time I actually bought her; this process took me about 18 months).

That was 10 years ago now! These days, I do whatever I want with no guilt, as long as I stick to the budget I can afford XD I don't show my parents any new purchases or really talk about my dolls at all. It's sad; because they are so disapproving of everything that doesn't 100% make sense to them/jive with how they personally spend their money and live their lives, they have to make rude comments about it. In the end, that rude/condescending attitude just pushes their kids away and makes them more reluctant to share what matters to them, from small things like dolls to much bigger things (these issues are not confined to bjds, lol).

I don't know if I'll ever have a kid, but if I do, I want to be supportive of them and only make prying comments if I have good reason to worry that they're spending beyond their means.

 

My parents are not fans of dolls themselves, but they know that it’s my money that I’ve earned myself and decided to spend on something I like. There was a couple times where I didn’t have a job and wanted a certain doll, and asked if I could do certain tasks and chores to earn the doll, but I always didn’t get the doll in the end as I wanted to earn it myself with my own money, and I didn’t want my parents to be upset if I ended up not liking the doll and wasting their money.

I ended up not liking my first doll, but in all honesty, it’s okay because it was my own money spent and it’s something they know I will learn from.

 

My parents don’t care either way about my dolls. My mom was kind enough to buy my first two dolls for me anyway. I never took them out while my parents were around but just because I like to be alone when I dress and pose my dolls.

If they had taken issue with it I don’t think I would have really cared?? They have hobbies and interest I have no interest in/find veeeery overpriced. But I respect them and they respect me so there isn’t much of an issue. What is money for if not getting yourself what you’d want?? (once your bills and needs are taken care of naturally!) It would have taken me much longer to get into the hobby though.

 

My parents thought they are a waste of time at first, but they always respected my hobbies. They saw how interested I was into dolls and decided that it was ok as long as I kept up my schooling.

 

I don't smoke, drink, do drugs or gamble. I choose to spend money on my hobbies instead of bad habits. As long as your bills are paid, kids are taken care of,have food on the table and you have the money for your hobbies, then by all means enjoy them. Never spend money you don't have.

 

Thankfully I'm at the age where I don't have to worry about that. My parents don't really get it but they respect my hobbies. I already spend a lot on art supplies so I think it mostly gets written off as another weird artsy thing.

 

My mum doesnt like the amount of money I spend on them but fine with the actual thing. Actually in saying that I think she likes it's getting me to actually do stuff , leave my room, do other hobbies & generally be more productive.

But in saying that too I pay my own rent feed my own family and have savings set aside everyweek so i don't get why my mum's up it about price

 

I hope one day your father comes around and respects your hobby and dolls. I mean he doesn't have to like it, but yeah. o.o

My father is not of this world anymore, but my mother fortunately seems to approve my liking of BJDs, so does my siblings. My husband, however, He doesn't dislike them, but I think due to the movie industry and their demonization of dolls in general through horror/thriller movies both him and some of our friends find them unsettling. I mean they know full well that they won't get up and walk around and potentially kill us, but at the same time, they still seem creeped out by them. Though at least he seems to respect my interest and won't stop me from pursuing the hobby as a whole, but I'll always ask for his opinion on whether he would be creeped out by a sculpt for not before committing to it. Some dolls we've looked at he's even liked too, so that is a plus.

 

Haha my whole family was so spooked by my bjd at first! But slowly my mom adored his face and understands why I love bjds. My brother not so much! He refused to be alone in a room with my bjd haha
I brought him to a class once and no one wanted to hold him XD except for my speech teacher! She was so fascinated >u< (I did a whole speech about bjds and brought mine as an example lol)

 

I wouldn't careI am financially independent yet.

 

When I used to live under my parent’s roof, I used to keep my dolls hidden from them because I knew they’d think they were weird or a waste of money.

I’ve since moved out on my own now, and now my dolls are displayed freely in my room. I only shove them back into hiding whenever I have company over so they’re still a secret. (Except for that time my mom went snooping through my room ((in my own dang house)) and found my dolls in hiding. She wasn’t as off-put by them as I thought she would be but still).

 

I mean, I have so few hobbies, yes, it's expensive but it's also my money. My Dad hates my dolls, he thinks they are creepy. I can discuss my dolls with my Mom but we never mention price.

 

my parents don't like my doll .they said it's too expensive. because my father is a guy who is really "zhengzhi".he don't like anything if he think it's useless .it's such a sad thing. so i just play with the doll in my own room.

 

Though neither of my parents really "get" my hobby, they're supportive of it. They understand and acknowledge that I'm an adult with my own interests and my own income and I can do with that as I please. My mom actually compliments my dolls often! My dad still thinks all the dolls lined up on my desk falls into uncanny valley, though, lol.

 

There aren't a lot of people in my life who understand the concept of paying Serious Money for a doll, no matter the quality or artistry. They just see a doll, and if they think about it critically at all, they probably wonder why I'm collecting them in the first place. I've had a few decades of experience with collecting things that demanded time and money that other people in my life couldn't understand. Namely, comic books, and antique clothing. As a teen, I was REALLY into comics. The first time I had more than $100 to my name, it was spent on a vintage comic book (a VF X-Men #4). My mother thought that it was obscene to spend so much money on something that was made of paper and staples. If she knew how much a bjd cost, she'd lose what's left of her sanity.

But, she doesn't see anything odd about spending hundreds of dollars on clothing. My dad spends a lot on firearms. My SO spends a fortune on gaming equipment and games. My coworker has about $2k worth of Funko Pop figures in her living room.

We all have our vices, and if we are fortunate enough to invest in them, we are invariably confusing someone in our lives who has different tastes.

 

My family really dislikes the amount of money it is to acquire these dolls, but I'm always told it's my money to do whatever I want with it. I don't have a BJD yet, but I know with that kind of talk it makes me afraid to even purchase one. Some people might not get it, but we all have our own expensive hobbies. In the end, I tell myself to go for it (once I can) because it's what makes me happy!

 

After a few attempts to show my mom things I made for my dolls or photos of them... I have given up. I hate the look on her face when I mention the topic... it is like "well... one day you will get over this... at least I hope so... why not now?"

Everytime I am waiting for a package and it finally arrives she is rolling her eyes... I think she doesn't even want to be rude, but over the years it really gets to me when everytime I feel happy doing something, she is giving me this look.
It is like she wanted to tell me that everything not related to finding a husband and getting grandchildren or whatever is just a big waste of time. I hate it and sometimes I get really frustrated about it.

I have decided to keep the hobby to myself and when she asks me what I have been doing lately I usually answer with: "not much... sleeping... existing... working... you know..."

I love my dolls and they make me so happy but I don't know anyone around me who understands the hobby... especially not in my family, what seems weird, cause my father has been collecting all kind of stuff... but maybe he gets the same look by my mom^^°

 

My family hates dolls in general, except my mom tolerates the "pretty doll" (my Doll Chateau Stacy). But they hate them mostly because of their price - and they have a censored knowledge of their price ^^'
My second younger sister also feels very uncomfortable with my dolls, so I always put them away when she is around. She hates when they are looking at her. But she also hates very realistic looking video game characters, so it must be her intolerance for the "almost human, but still isn't".

 

Before I owned them, I thought for sure my sibling was going to hate them. Calico Critters or Sylvanian Families, if any of you know them, creep them out with their 'beady little eyes' and they don't care for dolls in general so I thought it wouldn't be good... However, they have been respectful, if nothing else, and kind in their noticing me making things for them and everything. I don't think they 'get' it, but that's okay. They're nice and that's all I can ask for.