What to do when your parents don't "like" your dolls?

The unfortunate thing about parents is, that they sometimes don't think we will be in a hobby for long and want us to save our money esp if it is an high priced one. At least that was one of the reasons cited by mine when I got into the hobby (discovered BJDs at age 14, got my first at 17 1/2).

There is no guarantee that your father will come around but the easiest thing might be to just not talk to him about it esp if your Mom is supportive of it and you live with her - I get that it is all exciting and new and you want to share that excitement with everyone but sometimes it is best to choose with whom you share it to keep yourself happy.

Wait it out with your father, maybe try bringing up the subject every few months to see if he has changed his mind but if not, ignore it. Hell, I am 25 now and my Dad is still like "So you still collect these dolls?" (I have a similar home situation as you do) and I have a 'proper' job that pays me nicely and I pay my own bills and stuff

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this with your father and his girlfriend. If it helps you, I would try as much as possible to focus on the positive, which is your mom is very supportive, and understands. It is sad you can't share this thing that makes you feel so much better, and happy, with your father, but please try not to let that take away any joy for you.

I'm well past the age where I worry about my parent's approval or understanding. But while growing up there were a lot of things I realized I could not discuss with them. Not without having them, even unintentionally, rob me of some joy. So I limited the subjects I would initiate with them. If they asked, and I knew it was a subject they might criticize me for, I treaded very, very carefully. It wasn't great, and I still feel a lot of resentment, but hopefully you can avoid that. You're smart enough to reach out and ask for advice, which is good step.

Don't let anyone take away your enjoyment. The next time they say something hurtful or dismissive about your new hobby, just smile, and let the conversation drop, if you can without creating an incident. And remember your mother supports you in it.

Good luck!

 

Not everyone is going to understand the hobby, and it's best to remember that you're doing it for you, not for anyone else. I have 5 siblings and live with my parents still (27. Maybe I should stop buying dolls and buy a house. ///working on it//// )
I started collecting at 18 years old. I had been saving since I was 15. I can tell you my parents didn't like the fact that THAT's what I wanted to get with my hard earned paychecks. however, that's what I wanted, and it's my money. they allowe dme to purchase Ren on their credit card, as to which I gave them the cash.

My mom /kind of/ gets the doll thing, and supports me by making clothing for them, but 4/5 siblings don't get it. They complain that I spend too much money on them, etc etc. It's a matter of 'Hey, you guys smoke and drink, and I don't. Take that money you spend there and match it with my doll spending'.

There are worse things you could be doing with your money.

as I said before, just remember it's your hobby, not theirs, so don't let them deter you from enjoying it.

 

Some people just don't understand the hobby, and that's okay. If you are happy with the hobby, that's what matters. If they say something I would just tell them that there is more to the hobby than what they may think. These dolls are in no way like Barbie's. But, they are just unaware of that. Without knowing exactly what BJDs are most people just think of them as your every day store bought doll. They may think that you like every doll in existence just because you like these.

My father always picked (and still does!) fun at the hobby, but I just ignored it. He has his own hobbies that I don't have any interest in, so I just think of it like that. This hobby is about you, and not your parents. Enjoy it, and love it! The more they see how happy it makes you the more they will probably just stop talking about it. They may never understand - and that's okay. A hobby is purely personal. No one else has to understand why you like it. If it makes you happy than keep at it! Someday they may understand, it just may take a bit of time.

 

I know I might sound a little harsh and disheartening, but we can never fully please our parents with our decisions. You remind me a lot of myself when I was your age (geez, I sound like an old woman!!), trying to be the best daughter you can be, never giving your parents any trouble.
I'm pretty sure you are, but as much as you try, you can never fulfill all of their (and your own) expectations. You will upset them sometimes, even when you do your best to please them. My best advice to you is, do not get upset if your choices, tastes, hobbies and/or opinions don't live up to their expectations. This is your life, after all. You may still depend on them today, but eventually, you will grow up and leave to live your own life.

The dolls may "just be a hobby", but they still symbolize your growth, from a child who always does what they're told, to a grown person who has their own tastes and opinions.

Sorry for the long ramble, but this just hit very close to home for me. Hope it helps you Lina, and congratulations on your new dolls!

 

Echoing what others have said. Not everyone is going to be interested in the same things you are, and unfortunately that goes for relatives too. I'd say, talk with your dad and his girlfriend about things that do interest them, and save the doll talk for your mom.

 

"It's like they dont care that these dolls make me happy."
I am sorry to say that this is, by evidence, likely to be true at the moment- It's very probable they don't care about such things right now, and I know it hurts. We love people and sometimes they aren't good at loving us back in the ways that would mean more to us. Sometimes it takes time or talking before people realize what their words can do.

You can tell your dad privately that it's hurtful when he makes disparaging remarks about your interests, as he may not realize how important this is to you.
If even that doesn't stop him from doing it, then you keep anything you enjoy to yourself and do not share it with him until he changes his behavior, and if he asks about your interests you say that he was rude about them before and it was hurtful- that he can't do that if he wants to know more about your hobbies. He doesn't deserve to hear about those parts of you if he doesn't care that much about your interests right now. If he changes then he can hear about them. He may change, but right now you're becoming an adult and you have to protect yourself and your own feelings. You don't owe him access to the parts of your life that he doesn't value right now.

 

Maybe their opinion will change when they see your doll in person. The craftsmanship is difficult to appreciate from photos alone. I got my first doll when I was a teen living with my parents. They were unenthusiastic when they saw photos of them online but were much more positive when the doll arrived and they saw it in person - because they could see, at the very least, it was beautifully sculpted. I will never make doll collectors out of them (sadly) but despite that they can see the value of them as an art piece, which is good enough for me.

 

I'm sorry about that. My parents went through a pretty nasty divorce when I was really young as well, my dad was super obsessive about weird hobbies but my mom always rolled her eyes. I wish I could talk to her about it, because any hobby is 10x better with other people involved.

I just stopped bringing it up. If they're anything like my mom, odds are their opinions won't change. You can lay out your feelings clearly, because that's the easiest way to get the point across (in my opinion). "I don't think you really understand what this hobby means to me. You don't have to like it, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't diminish it in front of me." Something like that, main thing is to keep level headed when doing so.

That's the line I had to draw with my mom. It doesn't mean there's any love lost, this is just an aspect of my life she isn't interested in. She doesn't stop me from collecting, and as long as I'm responsible with it she doesn't fuss.

Sorry for the kinda cut and dry explanation, I'm really not trying to sound harsh. That's just how things were with me. I hope things go smoother than they did for me.

Regardless, whenever I have problems like this my older sister usually tells me: "You do you. And if anyone tries to sh** on your parade.... Eat them."

 

Thanks to everyone who replied! It's so nice to see that there are so many nice people in this hobby! This helps me a lot.

 

I'm sorry you're going through it. I know it can hurt a lot when people we care about don't understand us completely. My mom don't like it to much, or she just don't care about my hobby. When I talk about my dolls she usually says "Naiara and her excentric side" or "you're still into the dolly thing hu?", so I usually don't bring the subject. When I do, or go to her house with my dolls (in this moment, I don't have any anymore, and I'm waiting for a new one to arrive) she just say they are pretty, but too expensive, or doesn't say a thing.

I think with time they start accepting it and respecting it so it's okay. We can't expect everyone to love our dolls or to totally support us in our hobbies. If there's respect, then it's good enough. You will be fine, and be happy

 

I'm sorry to hear your dad and stepmom do not support you. Some people don't really make an effort to understand other people's choices, and it happens with parents/older people that they just attribute someone's ideas to being young, immature or naive.
However some people's mind can be changed: if you stick to it for a while they might see it wasn't just a childish whim, or a rushed choice and they might at least stop being adverse to it.
In other cases, like it happened with my mom, they might come to understand it once they see your passion about the hobby. Initially my mom was very sceptical, however after seeing the dolls and realising what kind of craftsmanship and creativity goes into their creation and customisation she got very enthusiastic and now fully support me. I think what did it was that she realised these are more like artworks and a creative outlet, rather than expensive toys for childish adults (although for some people the hobby can be more about playing with them than being crafter or an artist and that's ok too).
In the end your dad might change his mind given time, or if he realises that bjds aren't mass-produced toys that you can buy in any store like barbies, or he might not.
But there's still hope that he might stop openly opposing you if he sees how happy you are, and that as you grow a bit older he'll start respecting your choices.

 

Honey, I'm sorry that you pass this, many people do not understand the hobby and they are disturbed by the affection one has to the dolls or by the value of them.

Maybe you should not comment on this for the moment and someday try to explain to your father that they help you feel better and happier, I think that conversing is the only way to find a solution, but equally important to understand that in this hobby is a must That you are not affected by what people say, because many people like I said before do not understand, while you are happy with your wrists is the important thing.

I hope you solve your situation many hugs! I am sorry for my bad english

 

It is always kind of hurtful when your family doesn't like your collection or hobby, because they're the people you'd hope would understand you the most. My parents and brother have always hated my collecting over the past 6 years, whether it was toys or figures or now dolls. My mom apparently counted all my figures and fashion dolls so that she could tell me how many I should get rid of (all of them.) I haven't bothered showing my dad or brother my MSD as I know they wouldn't understand or like it, and I don't want to be mocked to my face again, but my mom has seen her and remarked at how pretty she was- so, in other words, I feel like there is room for SOME people to grow and change their minds on these kind of things. But some people just might never change their minds.

I'm sorry you can't talk BJD in front of your dad and his girlfriend; I know how hard it can be to keep things in especially when it's about something you love or are excited about. If I were in your position, I would let this hobby be something you discuss with your mom, and leave your dad and his girlfriend out of it. If in the future they change their minds and come around and see BJD as art and want to be involved... then it will be fun to tell them about your hobby.

 

Honestly, my parents are the same way so I completely keep them out of it. I'm in the same situation as you: I have my first 2 dolls on the way. I have no idea what I'm going to tell my parents when they get here lol, probably just tell them I bought some dolls but not say how much they cost. I don't need the negativity. I'm super girly so it won't be weird that I ordered dolls.

I do wish I could talk about it with them, and for them to be interested in my hobby. But I know it will be all judgement so I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut. You can't force people to see your point of view!

I suffer from mental illness as well (ODFED) and I can relate that they help me so much, even though they're not even here yet.

 

I'm lucky to have parents who understand my hobby. But if, they don't, I will not try to change their mind. When I was not an adult and could not pay for my tuition, daily fees and meals by myself, I could not request parents to pay such expensive things simply for interest if they don't want to.

 

My parents didn't get it, and thought it was a total waste of money. I first got interested at 19 when I still lived with them, and it was kind of like...if I could afford this hobby, I could afford to live on my own type deal.

I moved out, got a job, saved up, bought my first doll when I was 25. After seeing the dolls, my parents started to see the difference in them and a cheap toy a little more, and I explained how art dolls are different than mass produced, and how the customization aspect would help me with my painting, drawing, photography, sewing, sculpting--all sorts of things! Also, the dolls mostly hold their value, so if you do decide to get out of the hobby one day, you can probably get most of your money back. You sure can't do that with makeup, movie tickets, money spent at clubs/bars/restaurants/on coffee, drugs, alcohol, hair, nails....Some parents may also see the hobby as anti-social--like you're playing with dolls, rather than making friends. This is sooo untrue! I've met some of my closest friends through the hobby, either online or from local doll meets. Some therapists have even said that this hobby is good for mental health--you can play out situations, escape from reality temporarily, have something to focus on in a positive way.

Now, I'm 9 years into the hobby, and just last week, my dad who has always insisted dolls don't have a nickel's worth of plastic in them, bought a bike for my girl. He found it for $7 at a flea market and thought it was so cool, that my doll needed it. So...sometimes those stubborn parents can come around once they understand better.

 

It's not different in essentials to any other choice we get to make. Being family doesn't guarantee understanding of each other and unfortunately, tolerant, accepting, agreeing-to-disagree, live-and-let-live is something very people people can be all the time.

I don't know of an easy answer. Options include actively or passively hiding it from the other person, confronting them, working on them indirectly, ignoring or 'not hearing' their negative words. How you deal with it is ultimately as personal as the choice of doll.

But don't try to justify it. You're right, other girls your age will spend their money too and, in the majority of cases, on things far more ephemeral. But that's 'normal' so its 'ok'. You won't win if you try to justify it; by doing so, it implies that they have the right to judge and they have valid reasons to judge negatively. It's your money, your time, your life - and you're making choices based on your own happiness.

 

Please give yourself permission to enjoy your hobby with or without your dad's approval. Keep in mind you have chosen a lovely, artistic, expressive and imaginative pastime, and aren't out getting into trouble! Part of growing up is realizing that parents aren't always perfect, and they don't know the right way to react every time. The dynamics of a changing family make it harder for everyone: your dad may be following his girlfriend's lead because this is a new situation for him. The girlfriend may be jealous of your relationship with your dad, so she wants to trivialize your hobby. Or, they may be truly clueless as to how wonderful the world of dolls is. Congratulations on purchasing your first dolls, and please be happy and proud of yourself!

 

Even when I was a young child, I liked dinosaurs. Back in my day (I'm OLD) girls didn't like things like that, icky monsters, etc. But I did, and I wouldn't let other people's opinions disrupt my enjoyment. I was lucky in that my Mom indulged my "weird" interest, even if she couldn't understand it completely. I never liked dolls when I was younger...and now I find I am halfway through my life, and I'm faced with the same problem! BJD's are the ONLY dolls I've ever liked, and if I show them to my Mom, she will be completely confused again! LOL...happiness is an emotion, and it has no rational. Sometimes you have to enjoy what is in your happy bubble and not worry about what the rest of the human's think about that.

 

Some parents are just like that. My mother is worse than my father. She makes snide remarks or just calls everything stupid. He just doesn't say anything at all, or maybe a question or two over the ten years that I've owned dolls. At first the disinterest hurts (they were the same when I started drawing anime characters instead of "American cartoons") but then I just did what I wanted anyway. My mom still doesn't really like them, though she thinks my Asteria is beautiful (cause she looks like she could be a porcelain doll) but it's not really a hobby I want to share with them anyway. I share my other hobbies, drawing, sewing and makeup (though, I'm sure if my mom knew how much I spent on that, she'd be just as snide about it, wouldn't stop her from having me use my palettes on her though). I share this hobby with people that understand, my husband and daughter (maybe my son when he's older), my best friend, Malvinas, and this wonderful community. I have some cousins that are interested in the hobby two, but not the prices. And that's okay. I can at least talk to them about the characters I have. Don't let what your dad and his gf say get to you. Enjoy the hobby. You're not doing anything bad or wrong by liking what you like.

 

My Parents think my Dolls are too expensive and I don´t need it ^^' , but I don´t care.
My Boyfriend accept my hobby and help me with my ladys ^^ and my friend thinks my dolls are scary ´~haha.

 

My mom just wondered because I never was interested in dolls but bjd are something else. She sees the creativity aspect of them and often help me when its come to crotch something for them.

My father wouldnt care on them but I broke contact with him before I was in the hobby.

My parents in law always making fun of me. It gone worse after they now on display in our living room. But I ignore them. At least I have a hobby and dont stare the whole day on the tv.

My boyfriend needed some time but he always helping me with them. He restring them and build a diorama box for me. He also says when he like their new clothes or give me ideas what would look good.

 

oh for sure, a lot of people also find them 'creepy' and therefore can't understand why they're so expensive or why I'd spend the money on them. When my mother sees all the cute little accessories and furniture I make to go with them, she's all into that. Apparently I will appease her when I buy a female one that she approves of. She will be waiting a loooooooong time cause she and I have different tastes

 

So I'm 19, still living at home and when I get my first doll I'm just planning on letting her arrive and explaining what she is to my parents later. I know they won't be happy with how much she will be (£208 for the first doll I want) even though it is my money, they will think she is a waste and I could have used the money better elsewhere. I'm pretty comfortable with her cost now and do not think she will be a waste as she will make me happy. I just wanted to ask what everyone else's experiences were with living at home and their parents opinions of their dolls and what their parents thought then vs. now
Thank-you!

 

I lied about the cost of my second doll. My parents actually had to help me buy my first one by lending me their credit card, so there was no lying there. I was about your age when I started collecting, too. (18).

Parents just want what's best and for you to save for your future. Your best bet is insuring them that you are still putting money aside for your future, but wanted to dabble in a hobby as well.

If not for my dolls, I wouldn't have the sewing, photography, crafting, sculpting, etc. skills I have now~ They've also helped with my.... mental state. Lol

I'm 27 now and still live at home. My parents don't /like/ the dolls ,but they can't exactly stop me from buying them. mom thinks they're pretty, but the cost makes her dislike them. Haha.

 

I'm nineteen, live at home and own too many dolls, and my parents don't get to know how much they are. I think as long as I'm spending my own money, I don't need to justify purchases to anyone (this would change of I got married, of course). My parents know I'm in a (relatively expensive) hobby that makes me happy, exclusively funded by my job. I do have my girlfriend bring my financial advisor, so I don't, say, blow all my savings. So, in summation, I think if you paid for it, you have every right not to tell people what you spent.

 

I think if they ask about cost I will just evade the question and say she was not cheap and leave it at that (unless they persist in asking) And I think I may be able to reassure them by the fact that I'm only using extra money to save for dolls so it's not like I'm spending money in a silly way or anything haha

 

My parents never told me it was a stupid thing to spend money on, but when I first started getting interested in the hobby I remember talking to them about it and them clearly stating that, if I wanted a doll, I had to save up and pay for it with my own money. So they were okay with it, but did not want to be the ones lending me several hundreds of dollars in order to buy one. I've also always done my best to explain the artistic aspects of the hobby and why it appeals to me, and I think they saw that it made me happy and were also very pleased when I started going to meets with other doll owners.
As long as it isn't money you needed for something else, and as long as it's not messing up any savings plans you had, I think it should be okay with your parents in the end, even if they might not like the cost of it initially.
Something to consider though, is whether your parents have any hobbies you can compare it to? They may also find it childish that you are buying a doll, but in that case explain to them that these dolls are collectors items targeted mainly at adult audiences, and do not tolerate the same levels of stress that, say, Barbies do + require quite a bit more care when handling.

 

I'm an adult, and my mom mostly just thinks it's a little odd that I hated dolls for most of my childhood and now I'm buying an expensive one, lol.

I've had many hobbies over the years though, and they've always been supportive as long as I could manage my space (i.e. keep things clean) and pay for it myself. I suspect those things would go a long way towards easing the concerns of many other parents, too.

 

I've been collecting since I was 19, and my parents definitely think it's too expensive, though I've always bought my own dolls. They do understand that it's a creative hobby for me so they don't mind other than the price, my dad collects model trains so he especially understands that side of it I think. My mum's kind of frowning upon it more recently because I'm trying to save a deposit for a house of my own, but I kind of want to focus on that myself for now anyway- I'm running out of space for dolls!

 

I live at home still (35... Actually, I own the house but my parents live here too). My story is perhaps a little different. I'm autistic, and have had a very hard time over the years with it, as well as with physical illness. My parents don't know exactly how much the dolls cost, but know they're expensive. However, they also know the hobby makes me happy, and I spent years being very unhappy.

Obviously, I work, and it's my money. But aside from that, my parents are happy that I'm making a life for myself. They're not too judgemental, really, as long as I'm not breaking any laws, harming anyone ir putting myself in the poorhouse, they're good with it. My mum admitted she likes the dolls. Sometimes she poses them or says they look nice when they have new wigs or clothes! She really likes Iago, my only 1/6 doll and gave him a little stuffed toy to hold. So yes, my mother is weird too. My dad supplies tools and things for me to make things.

All in all, I don't see why it's a problem. When I mention money, my mum points out all the things I don't spend on, that other people might (I hate pubs and clubs and bars, I don't wear make up, not fussed by designer clothes) so the money I spend on my crafts is offset, really!

 

My way of dealing with that was explaining to my relatives that doll still have its value as the time passes and should I be in an unexpected need of funds, I would potentially be able to sell one and regain some of its original value - if not the whole amount. At that they stopped complaining about me spending my inheritance on a hobby, and I think they began feeling more comfortable around my dolls, started appreciating them as a form of art they didn't even know existed before. Though I rarely mention doll prices unless they directly ask about it, really!

 

I made the mistake of mentioning price to my mom before anything else about the hobby, and she balked at it. (I have a 72cm boy so he's on the expensive side of the hobby, too.) But she never fussed at me about it or told me I couldn't, even if she didn't get it or thought I was a fool for spending so much on a doll.

I also collect anime figures, and she doesn't get that either. But she collects glass (vases, ornaments, plates etc; she has a cute dish of blown glass candy) and mentioned to me once that her parents didn't understand why she would bother buying dustable bustables like that, and gave her a lot of flak for it, so she tries to avoid that with me. (With, uh, moderate success. :P I love her, but sometimes, man...)

I think she's warmed up more to the idea of BJDs now that my boy is home and she can see him in person. She seems to like him, even if she doesn't personally think he was worth his cost.

If your parents freak out, you can emphasize that it is your money you're spending, and that since it is such a great financial investment, it means you've spent a lot of time a) considering your options and b) saving. So since you still want the doll after all that waiting time, it's definitely something you'll remain interested in and won't just toss aside. You obviously don't have to mention price if you don't want to, but should the topic come up I would advise against lying. Should the lie be found out, it'll make the whole thing much more uncomfortable in the future.

 

So I was around 14 or 15 when I got my first doll, I can't remember exactly to be honest haha. So yeah, definitely still living at home lol. I paid for her myself. I actually bought her in person at a store(she's a Goodreau American BJD, and about 20 minutes away there's a store that sells crazy amounts of expensive collector dolls. They had the Goodreau BJDs there. So my mom drove me to go buy her. She was perfectly fine with it, I've always been really big into dolls, I used to collect American Girl dolls, so I think she looked at it as a "more adult" version of that. My dad however thought she was creepy, always called her my "creepy" doll, and definitely wasn't a fan. I don't think I told him how much she was. Mom knows, and she was fine with it. I saved up my money and worked hard for it, so I earned it. We weren't given anything expensive for free in my family, you had save money and earn it. So mom was totally fine with it and could see the artistic part of it(we both paint), but dad thought it was weird. He things the whole Asain sub culture, anime, etc. is really weird and creepy. Hubby thinks they are cool.

 

I wasn't living at home when I got my doll but I was when I was first getting into them so they knew these dolls were pretty pricey. When I got my first doll, I brought him over to show my mom and I could tell my Dad REALLY wanted to say something about their price.

The thing is, my dad collects model trains. I worked at the hobby shop where he bought trees for his layout. He'd come in about once a week and spend 40 bucks on tiny, tiny plastic trees. He knows that. I know that. He knows that I know that. So we just stared at each other for a few minutes before he was like, well, as long as you're happy! LOL

They've become more supportive over the years; my dad actually bought the fantasy legs I needed to complete my Marl because I mentioned how bummed I was on facebook that I'd probably miss out on them cause I couldn't afford them at the moment. My mom likes to see pictures that I take and humors me when I talk about my dolls and what I'm doing with them currently and even helped me do a faceup on one of them.

 

My mom doesn't hear the end of it, lol. I think at first, she was a little confused by the cost, but she's warmed up to it! She knows it's something that makes me happy(as evidenced by the fact I don't shut up about it)!

 

That is soooo awesome! I love finding people on the spectrum that into this hobby. My husband is on the spectrum, he's an Aspie. It can be difficult sometimes, not totally understanding certain quirks or emotions, but it is so worth it. I love him more than anything. I think "weird" or "odd" hobbies really help those on the spectrum cope, hubby has a lot of hobbies he's into that most people around here aren't. I don't always get it or understand it, but if it helps him deal with things he's going through, then I support it as long as it's not anything harmful like porn or drinking a lot or things like that. I'm hoping to maybe one day get him into BJDs, I can see him really enjoying it. I think he feels too awkward about it though, and he doesn't like spending much money.. he's a saver, I'm the spender lol. maybe one day.

 

I'm 24 years old and living with my boyfriend so my parents don't get to dictate what I do anymore XD Though to be honest my mom thinks they're amazing, but when I wanted one when I was younger (around 13) of course she wouldn't buy me one, as they were too expensive. She definitely was the one that got me into collecting dolls though, she has given me a doll every year for Christmas since I was very young (probably around 5 years old?). They have mostly been porcelain dolls though. The last 3 years however she has given me Pullips which is a little expensive for her I think but she knows I love them So TL;DR I guess, my mom actually loves them xD In fact I think she is very proud of me to be able to afford the dolls on my own now.

 

My parents don't freak out because they don't know. My one full SD stays hidden (I got him in college and just told them not to open the big mysterious box when I moved out), my incoming doll is a tiny and should be easier to hide, the others are heads that stay in their boxes. I am waiting to move out before being more open about my hobby because I want to show that I can support myself and the hobby. That also means that I won't buy the SD bodies that I want just yet because there is only so much I can keep under wraps.

 

My parents love the fact that I have something that helps me with my anxiety, makes me interact and meet knew people, whilst being a great outlet for my creative side, not only faceups and crafting, I've also started writing again after a couple of years,(bad experience in uni that ruined something I always loved doing for a while, but now it's fine) and I'm exploring a new side of photography, a very challenging one for a person who's used, and loves to photograph nature, animals and urban environments. I must admit my parents have no idea of the costs related to the hobby, they know how much I paid my current dolls, but not the ones I have on order or started a layaway for, they are also strictly forbidden from purchasing any dolls for me, since I explained it's my hobby and I would prefer only my own money to go towards it ('twas an I'm old enough, got a job and leave on my own kinda speech), especially since they don't know how much a doll costs and I don't have any plans of letting them know at least not at this moment in time. I believe they'd be okay with it, cos parents always want what's best for you and anyway it's cheaper than therapy, but I personally like to keep the money part to myself, but like I said I live on my own so that kinda makes it easier.

 

Bear in mind that if you're out when the package arrives the customs label will have the cost of the doll on it for your parents to see.

Teddy

 

I still live at home with my parents while I finish up grad school, and they have kind of mixed feelings about my doll. My dad is really difficult to talk to about the hobby, he thinks the whole thing is ridiculous. My mom kind of goes back and forth with it. Sometimes when I talk about it, I can see her eyes kind of glaze over as she only pretends to listen, but other times she'll be the one to bring my doll up, and ask to pose and photograph her. For them, the cost is a really big thing; I know they're just worried that I'm not being careful and doing my research before spending that much. It takes a lot of reassurance for my mom to be somewhat okay with it, though she does admit that I am an adult, and it is my money to spend how I wish. And my doll makes me happy; even when I'm not actively playing with her, just seeing her on my shelf makes me happy.

 

From what I know right now, my parents don't really mind it since the money is my own and I have plenty saved up for more important things already. I'm in the general same position as you though with ordering my first doll and I don't know how they'll feel once they've seen I've dropped $300 on a doll, but I'm hoping that explaining that I rather buy 1 nice high quality doll rather than many small ones that won't last as long is enough to convince them that the purchase is worth it. I'm luckily ordering her when I'm away from home at school so they'll just get to see pictures!

I do know however, that with my non-resin dolls the experience has so far just been great with my mom (she finds them pretty and is happy I'm into something generally "feminine" by her standards) but my dad has always been a bit judgemental when it comes to me and makes jokes about them. I however know that if my dad makes fun of me for having an expensive doll I can comment that he owns plenty of expensive things he barely knows how to use and spends a lot of money on concert tickets when I rarely go out, haha. If your parents are generally accepting of you and your choices, it should be fine though! I don't think they'll mind you spoiling yourself a little especially since you're an adult. I have a few acquaintances who live at home and own BJDs and from what I've seen everyone's parents are generally fine with it as long as purchasing for the dolls/of dolls isn't very frequent (so, as long as they aren't buying a new doll every few months).

 

The thing is you are living with your parents, who are presumably heavily subsidizing your life.

A parent might not mind subsidizing you if they can see that you're saving money for your future, but they may if they see you spending it all on frivolous things. That money could have gone towards your upkeep rather than a toy.

Of course everyone is different, and there are thresholds as well. Hopefully your parents recognize that you need a hobby, and buying one expensive toy once is one thing, buying one every week is another.

 

Well seen as I'm using my own money and it's only extra money at the end of the month I'm saving I don't think that side of it is a problem more so them just not being able to understand or justify spending so much on what they may see as a very expensive 'toy'

 

I live at home with my parents as I go through college. They know very well about the cost of my dolls and the dolls I want. They don't seem to mind too much, but I haven't bought a doll for 4 years now since I've put the hobby on halt. Though, they did help me pay for my grail doll which was $825!

 

If you are truly spending your own money, and buying this doll did not put an additional burden on your parents (if they are paying for your university and that money could have gone towards fees, just for example), then you don't need to justify your purchase. Just reassure them that you have met your financial obligations and are saving money, so you wanted to splurge on this one item that enhances your creativity/makes you happy/whatever the reason. You can tell them you'd rather not discuss the cost, but I wouldn't suggest lying or trying to hide it. That sort of behavior is what teenagers are notorious for, and it probably won't help your parents to see you as a responsible adult if you are sneaking around

 

My general opinion is this: what you spend your money on isn't anyone else's business excluding extreme cases where it jeopardizes the well-being of yourself or others.

Buy your doll; enjoy them rather the people around you get it or not. Worst case scenario? You can probably get most of your money back.

 

I was 19 when I first became interested in the hobby, and living at home and made the mistake of telling my mom how much they cost first and she told me if I could afford to spend $500 on a doll, then I could afford to move out of her house. Needless to say, I did not buy a doll for a long time. I got my first doll at 25, when I was fully independent. She still thought they were way overpriced, but now that she's seen how much happiness they bring me, how different they are from mass produced playline dolls, how much they've helped me develop my artistic talents, and that I'm able to balance buying dolls and managing my money responsibly, she's finally come around. She still cannot imagine spending that much on a doll, but as long as I'm not asking her to buy them for me or pay my bills for me, she really doesn't care. She even enjoys seeing the things I do with them and sometimes gets ideas of things to make for them. I did not tell my dad what they cost, he knows they're not cheap, but no dollar amount. He doesn't fully get the doll thing either, but he likes helping me with projects that involve power tools.

The best advice I can give is to educate your parents on what these dolls are and why they're not like Barbies, then mention price (IF you mention price at all.) Starting the conversation out with "So there's this $500 doll..." is really not the best way to go about introducing a parent to an expensive hobby. XD

 

Well, buying a doll is a much, MUCH better investment than blowing 200 on a weekend spent clubbing, partying and drinking .... At least imho ... ;P

 

I am an adult and I live with my mother. My parents divorced a few years back so I moved in with her to help her out and keep her company (it was a hard time for her). I pay her $600 a month in rent to help with the mortgage, pay for utilities and groceries and such. She knows I collect dolls (I started this hobby when I was living on my own), and I'm pretty sure she knows they're expensive, but she never asks about cost and I never disclose exact price. I work a full-time job and as long as I pay my bills on time then any leftover is what I use toward the hobby, and she's fine with that.

I think if you're an adult and you're being responsible with money, then indulging in a hobby like this is fine.

On the other hand, if you're an adult and living with your parents without paying anything like rent and they have issues with you spending several hundred bucks on a doll and you don't understand why ... frankly, your priorities might be a little screwed up. If you have money to blow on a doll that could instead go toward living expenses like cable, electric, groceries, then I don't blame the parents for being a little peeved and not understanding. Nobody likes a freeloader.

 

It depends on what your family is like specifically but I think it's reasonable to argue that spending that money on a single luxury item is not really any different from spending it on several less expensive ones, and it's not like you're buying a ton of them in a short space of time, it takes a while to save up. Plus the doll hobby is a very creative one potentially.

 

I've always been into fashion to some degree so when I told my parents about these dolls I made sure to talk about plans I had for making their clothes and that helped.
I've always spent birthday money on dolls, and a bit of extra pocket change on accessories for them, and my mom and I have a lot of sewing materials already so I only have to buy wigs and maybe shoes for them.
My parents have always been very supportive of me as long as I'm not hurting anyone. They are cool with me being gender-diverse and neuro-diverse, and I am stuck at home due to various disabilities so they are supportive of anything I do that makes me feel a little independant. Caring for my dolls, designing the characters and seeing some of the fabulous realities in my head come to life is something that helps immensely so they think it's great.

 

My mother was against it as well when I bought my first BJD. She despised it and still kinda does. She still viewed it as a waste, after me begging for one over the years.
I bought my first when I was 18.
Shortly after I bought a second. (That one was a surprise that she still can't get over.)
She eventually dismissed them and only brings them up once in a while these days. She doesn't interact with them at all, but when I bring them out, she gets kinda curious about them. Over all, opinions can be swayed!

 

I didn't tell my parents yet because I live in a separate house.. but I know someday I should say it to them.... kinda sad because I know they definitely kinda..... loathe me :')

 

That's not usually a problem. My SD-sized Angell Studio Charlotte cost USD15 according to the customs label

My Luts and Fairyland dolls were also marked with stupidly low prices as well.

 

I don't think either of my parents are very fond of my dolls, I think my dad just thinks it's weird and my mom doesn't like that they're so expensive and take up so much space. However my mom seems to be very supportive of at least the social aspect of the hobby.

 

I'm a parent , and I would hate that my child hid anything from me. I would enjoy if my child likes these type of dolls, in fact, I would be happy to buy it, unless it costs over $2000.00. Then they would have to buy it themselves.

 

My parents believe my hobby is quite expensive but they don't say much as long as I pay my bills. I can understand their complaints in some ways because all they see is a doll and I see so much more so I try not to bother them too much about my dolls when I visit.