How to have more fun with my BJD?

Initially, I didn't dare to touch my doll too. I just displayed him on my table and admired his sculpt Everyday!!! But then I kept longing for that "something" everytime I went on doa or instagram and saw others with their dolls. So bit by bit I started to touch him more, pose him a little differently each time I see him, even if I'm not taking his photos! I enjoy bringing him out a lot to meet friends too, cause then I don't need to buy new dolls (yet) but my doll can have the company of other dolls. Perhaps you could bring your doll to a dollmeet?

 

There's nothing wrong with just looking at your doll.

Mine spend most of their time just sitting around. I still enjoy looking at them.

They occasionally get changed or photographed, but they mostly just sit on my table.

Don't pressure yourself -- there are plenty of ways to enjoy your dolls.

 

This might sound odd, but since you've given him a character, have you tried just silly random things like having him watch t.v. with you, or having a 'conversation' with him over breakfast? Interactions that would focus on the character rather than the object?

 

I've been having this same issue! Maybe I'm just not attached to my little girl as much as I'd had hoped, which I hope isn't the case. I'd really love trying to have a dolly play date, but, alas, I don't know anyone nearby with the same hobby.

For now, what helps me a bit is making things for my doll and writing stories about her. Sometimes I try to pose her like I imagine she'd look like in a specific scene of a story I have in mind. Sometimes I like to imagine how she'd react to various things nearby. Even now I'm suuuper conscious of her "price tag", but I'm hoping with time this wears off.

 

You've got to be brave and try handling your doll some more!

I was also extremely cautious when touching my first doll, but over time, I grew accustomed to it. You can always wear gloves if it bothers you too much, but as long as you're being careful and not touching the faceup, everything should be just fine! I always wash my hands before handling my dolls, and I try my best not to put them on any unclean surfaces. They're still in pretty good condition, if I do say so myself.

Doll photography has so far been my favorite part of the hobby. I'm always learning how to improve my skills when I take photos of my dolls. I also like attending meetups and seeing other dolls IRL. Do you have any doll related social media accounts? I created a BJD Instagram account last year, and it's been super fun posting there and interacting with other people in the hobby!

Hopefully you get some goo advice and can start enjoying your dolls more ASAP.

 

Definitely try different wigs on him. I've had my feelings toward a doll completely change once I got the right wig on it. The right eyes help too. I think it is a good sign that you found him more beautiful than you expected when he arrived.

I will say that one of the biggest things that has helped a doll come alive for me is interaction with another doll. Sometimes it gives a previous doll who has provided little character inspiration a whole new direction to go in. But I am very much character driven. It sounds like you might be too!



Maxim didn't have much purpose until Maura came home and decided she wanted him. He was totally smitten. Then she didn't want him. Now they cause each other all kinds of grief.

Linda S.
galatia9

 

Going to a dollmeet might help you put your purchase in perspective. With my first two dolls I felt like I had spent a lot of money. Then I went to a doll meet and met two girls with dozens of limited soom dolls and saw how they just flopped them around, no big deal. They were a little extreme but it helped me get over a lot of my fear.

If I have a doll that's too expensive I won't play with it either. Maybe try getting a "cheap" doll or one with accessible replacement parts and see if it appeals to you more.

 

Definitely try just hanging out with him. I was nervous to touch my first MSD...Until I had to restring him. He spent the next week in my arms almost constantly after that. Watching YT videos, sewing, taking goofy pictures of him and (by pure accident) actually wound up dozing off hugging him a few times. I definitely felt less intimidated once I handled him enough. He's yours. He won't shatter with a single breath.

 

If you enjoy sewing, why not sew some more outfits and try changing them once a day or once every few days? I really enjoy making clothing for dolls and being able to create a full wardrobe!

 

You know, it is definitely understandable to be wary of playing with your doll, especially since he is your first. BUT like a first time parent, you just have to try things. See what you are and aren't comfortable with, but don't force yourself.
I got my first doll in November 2015 and for a while I didn't have anything for her besides shoes I purchased with her and a dress/head scarf combo I made quickly when she arrived. I had gotten her just one set of new clothes, no wig cause I wanted to try making one, and I had fun with her. I tried different poses to see what she could and couldn't do. I put things in her hands to see what she could hold and what would fit with her size. Heck just this year she got a faceup finally haha.
So you really don't need to do anything you don't want to. Just try small interactions here and there and have fun. As long as you don't drop him on hard surfaces and don't bang him around, he will be fine.

 

So, the core problem is your fear to handle the doll. I think you need to study the ways how to handle the doll safely: dollstands, wire, pillows on the floor in case of falling down, etc. No need to start with difficult posing or crazy photo ideas. Start with simple things, just start. =)
I had the same problem with an action figure: it was so awesome, but so fragile. I thought that it was a waste of money. But little by little I make photoshoots, I move it very gently. And it works, I'm not so scare to keep it in my hands.

 

I also used to be terrified to handle my dolls. My first doll, I'd often leave him alone for months at a time. In hindsight, I probably picked a really difficult choice for my first doll, as he came with a super elaborate fullset outfit that got in the way of posing and also required a bit more maintenance than I was prepared for. I think for me it definitely helped getting another doll for him to interact with (that makes such a difference when it comes to posing and photographs!), and it also helped making some dumb mistakes along the way, because as soon as I messed up and saw that it wasn't the end of the world, I felt a lot more comfortable handling him. Now I try to do something new every time I pose and photograph my dolls, and I feel closer to them than I ever have. I feel like I find out something new about them every time I play with them, and they keep surprising me with what they can do!

 

For me, the most enjoyable aspect is the visual itself - face up and expression and the atmosphere or image you try to go for. I'd say capturing the essence of that something via style and fashion and then have it all come together on a picture is the most entertaining aspect of BJD for me! Just like trying to find the perfect shot with a camera. It's all a lovely creative process!

 

Having this exact same problem with my first doll as well! Some great suggestions here, I'm trying to just push through it but it's harder than I thought it would be!

 

To me having fun with my doll is planning their crew out, taking pics of them, and posing them together randomly, and even just chatting about them and sharing them with friends online. I haven't got around to doing as much with them as I want because life happens, and they do tend to just sit around quite often, but anytime I get a break it's cool to have them ready to adventure. I've found I prefer to do my own faceups on my crew these days because it seems to help me with the whole bonding process..

 

I, too, had feelings of being afraid to "mess up" my doll. She had body blushing/painting from the company, and I felt uncomfortable playing with her because I was concerned about ruining the painting. I feel more comfortable handling a doll I painted myself because I know that if I mess up the paint, I can fix it. I feel that as I learn more about BJDs and acquire more skills, I'll become more confident in handling them.

It was years after I got my first doll that I started painting my own face-ups, but even learning little things, like observing how the pieces fit together and how they pose, can help you learn more about dolls and maybe get more comfortable handling them.

 

I think one of the biggest things to remember is that BJDs really aren't as fragile as they seem. You don't need gloves to handle them, and the paint won't fall off if you touch it once. Fingers don't snap off randomly, and ears generally stay firmly attached to the head. I personally love taking my dolls out with me, like if I'm going to the craft store or the fabric store, or even if I'm just shopping for myself; I'm not the type to keep my dolls in a glass cabinet (not that there's anything wrong with that), and I think that's what really allowed me to "bond" with my dolls.

I've also found that having a character before you get a doll seems to help with bonding, because you already know the character, if that makes sense. Making a project out of a doll helps too; for my DZ Carter, Ilya, I loved his character before I got the doll, and the process of creating that character in doll form (getting the right faceup, making his clothes/accessories, etc.) was super rewarding, and really helped give the doll "personality."

But it really depends on what you enjoy and how you want to interact with your doll. Try crafting something, like making wigs or furniture; take pictures inside and out; try switching up your doll's style or character with a new wig or faceup. There's tons of stuff to try, so don't give up!

 

Having the same problem…

 

I think the previous aswers in this thread are still good advice.
Interact with our doll in your own ways and at your own pace.
Don't be too scared of messing up, one of the strongest points for polyurethane as a doll material is how durable and resilient it is. And even if something should go wrong, most things are fixable.

When I was new I found a lot of comfort in watching doll restorations. It reassured me that there wasn't much that could happen just by regular handeling that would require anything that exreme.

 

I really appreciate this thread - thanks op for starting it! I've been struggling a bit lately with mine and I think these are all really good suggestions. I second the idea of starting an Instagram to post photos and follow other people with BJDs - seeing them interact with theirs can be inspiring. Hope it goes well for you! Let's improve! ᕙ⁠(⁠＠⁠°⁠▽⁠°⁠＠⁠)⁠ᕗ

 

Thank you ! Maybe it’s that I don’t know what I should do? Lol. Thank you!!!!

 

Sewing for them, or making Pinterest boards based on their aesthetic/life style. I used to making TikTok’s of them.

 

You can do whatever you want, even if it's just admiring them. When I was new, I was very self-conscious about not being a good dolly-mom because I didn't do many things with them, but after 11 years I've found I don't compare myself anymore.
I have fun just taking them out and posing them next to me while I do other things around the house, but I also enjoy writing stories about them (my main outlet for dolly creativity), taking pictures and uploading them to my dolly IG, changing their clothes or sewing them new ones, drawing them (even though my drawing skills are poor to say the least xD)...

 

For me writing a photo story around them, sewing up the outfits for the story, taking their pictures, sometimes redoing or touching up their faceups and posting the story, are all part of the things I do with them.

I also like to have a couple of the smaller msd ones sit on my desk while I am watching stuff, they have popcorn and slushies to join me on a binge watching fest, while they share a doll papasan chair and relax.

My tiny little Lara joins the whole family on game night. If we need a fourth person she has her own little table and chair and we take turns for her.

My Smart Doll (off topic) goes on family vacations with us. I toss her in a doll backpack and take her along and then take pictures of her, She has her own pajamas sleeping bag, and swimsuit. I like to bring her because she is lightweight, but if I didn't have her I would pick one of the other ones to to come along.

Sometimes I'll just bring them along when I am going someplace as well. I'll just take pictures of them on an outing. People might glance when I am taking pictures of a doll in public, but no one has ever said anything to me.

 

One way I’ve managed to handle my fear is having items specifically for going out, a wig that isn’t at risk of tangling or getting messy, hands in a pose that will make it less likely for any fingers to break, clothes that cover more skin to avoid possible scuffs in case of an accident, I also like really like taking my dolls out in a pet backpack or hard shell doll case!

 

Mine have a private movie theater all of their own. I bought an old VCR and and started collecting VHS tapes from thrift stores (as well as backup VCRs in case one starts to eat tapes) to play on the TV upstairs in front of where my girls stay. Every time I'm going by I swap out the tape. I close my eyes and tell them to guide my hands to the one they feel like watching next. They have favorites and sometimes want to watch the same one several times in a row and sometimes I join them if I'm not busy with something else. Video tapes have a very strange visual quality compared to modern digital formats. It's like a sort of colored static fuzz, always in flux, and you can't really tell where one thing ends and another begins, but there aren't "pixels" per se. I think tape, both video and audio, has certain "alive" properties that make it seem more magical than current media formats. That's really what I think BJDs are I suppose, a kind of magic. Tulpamancy with physical form.

imgur.com

[Sorry, I haven't posted in ages and I guess don't recall how to embed images correctly]

 

I had the exact same fear, I bought my dolls more than a decade ago and bought many and bought them mainly for display, most also bought blank as I was going for a more statuesque style instead of doll style, I got bored with that display and when I moved for the 1st time I didn't have space for display and tried to figure out what to do sell or keep as I was very hesitant to do anything else than display. after many years with most in hiatus and most of them with most of my dolls in storage and 2 more house moves I m not super worried about how much they worth cause their price has dropped anyway because of time but I now have to figure out if and how I want to display them cause I want a more dolly style now and not the highly statuesque I wanted back then 14 years ago also I have to find which dolls I like to handle and how many I can handle without giving me anxiety. For the ones I want to handle I will do no matter the price because people buy expensive cars and drive them which make them less pristine and used same with clothes people buy them and wear them wash them dry them ... So think of your dolls like an expensive dress would you wear it or leave it in the closet? If you bought the doll to play with it do it same as someone who gets a super nice pair of shoes wears them.

 

There already is very good advice in this thread! Here is my 2 cent:

Been there, done this: I bought another doll, my second one, as cheap as I could get one at the time. She turned up pretty damaged, so I figured, I could hardly make it worse. Learned everything from and with that doll, she continues to be my first choice to try things out. Wireing? Re-stringing? Sueding? Sanding? Here we go! She has become most dear to me, I must say. That‘s the secret ingredient and just how bonding works for me.
Also this: It is an uncomfortable fact, that resin and face ups, even the wig or eyes and outfit can and will age and the perfect doll you are looking at now, is quite likely to change its appearance over time, even if you don’t handle it at all!

These dolls are made to be actively enjoyed in many ways. It is perfectly ok to just look at them. But if you want more, just do it. Can it ruin the doll? Sure it can! Never mind, most things with BJDs can be fixed or replaced! For me that is part of their magic.

 

This was something I struggled with a LOT when I first started collecting. I never connected with my dolls the way other people seem to. I thought I was broken, like why wasn't it happening for me?? Everyone else seemed so happy with their dolls and sharing feelings I just couldn't relate to.

Now that I'm older I realize, that's just not me. I don't shell characters, I don't talk to my dolls, I don't take the places (aside from specifically wanting to photograph them), I don't make up stories for them, and that's okay! I enjoy admiring them and dressing them up and that's enough.

The fear of handling them though, the bright side, is almost any part can be replaced or repaired. There are many skilled artists who fix broken fingers and they look brand new. Even facial repairs can be done. I typically avoid extremely hard surfaces (not easy as my whole house is terrazzo flooring and everything that hits it will shatter) and in 20 years have never broken any dollie bits

 

Learning how to modify and fix dolls a little bit helped me be more touchy and bond with them. I took on my first mod without the right tools but made it work and I felt so accomplished! I have more than a handful of stain treatments under my belt now too and that familiarity makes me less nervous about them being needed.

Since you aren't getting what you expected out of the doll, maybe ask yourself what you expected in the first place?

Do you want a fancy setup for them or would you rather take them out on adventures? Both? A doll that is protected and looks nice is just as genuine of a way to appreciate them as well!

 

I think the issue is that it's normal to keep a leash on your imagination, especially if you're grown up. It takes a bit of effort to let go of that restraint. It's not necessary to shell a character or do anything convoluted to do this, it's just a matter of entering a state of play. But once you've opened that door it's much easier to find enjoyment in things you might've found boring before. In the end there's no special way to enjoy a doll's presence, it's all about what you project on her. You gotta lend a bit of your soul to your doll so to speak.

 

I think it's the natural cycle of being a new dolly owner. And I think like with any other hobby, there's that cycle of "brand new - keep it mint," "intermediate level - going to experiment a bit," "seasoned - try all the things," and "veteran hobbyist - okay...this is my life now". Hahaha. Find what is a good fit for you and your situation as someone new to the hobby, but ultimately enjoy yourself.

Like others have said, do little things here and there. Get comfortable handling your doll. Become a part of the online community whether on DoA, the various other forums and websites out there, start following fellow BJD owners/artists/companies on social media, watch videos, etc.

Once you get more comfortable, do more things with your doll. Buy or make clothing and accessories. Go to tea parties and movies with them. And if you feel a bit brave enough to do it solo or can drag a friend or family member with you, attend a local or reasonable driving distance dolly meet-up. If specific ABJD meet-ups nearby are a no-go for you, try branching out to other dolly and teddy bear conventions, anime/sci-fi conventions, and the like as those tend to have BJDs or BJD owners hanging out there too.

At some point, find a good support network once you do find your dolly community. Not only does it help with discovering new things and being able to enjoy your dolly hobby more with talking to and hanging out with fellow BJD enthusiasts, you do want to have someone out there to help you reign it in or to check in on you and be brutally honest with you to let you know if you start slipping into dolly addiction. Like, for realsies. Or if you or your friend is intensely shy or have anxiety, it's nice to have that one person be like, "Ah, okay, you've hit your limit, let's go home and chill for a while." Little stuff like that.

But yes, something as simple as sitting on the couch with your dolly watching tv with the pets. That's a good start. Just enjoy yourself.

 

Mostly, mine stay on the shelves, but I like to carry mine around every now and then, and sometimes I try different outfits on them.

 

Personally I get the most out of the hobby from taking photos and posting to my doll instagram. Once I made an account just for doll photos, it really opened doors! I really enjoy finding unique clothes, accessories, and making simple jewelry for them to wear. Posting their new looks or setting up a new backdrop is really fun for me and I get a lot from doing it, even though it's something I do in my own time.

 

I've found that crafting or buying new things for the dolls is a huge part of keeping things fresh. Sewing or getting new outfits in the mail and trying them out, or finding props and furniture, or building a doll room is the key IMO. No matter how nice your dolls are, if there's nothing to do but sit them on a shelf, then I think it's pretty normal to get bored eventually. The great thing with dolls is that when you get bored of your setup or outfits, you can change almost everything, and it's like getting new dolls all over again. I got a little swamped in layaways for new dolls and I really miss the time when I only had my first doll and I was spoiling her rotten with new outfits every month. As soon as I'm done I want to get back to that.