Ugh! He's not a girl!

Other doll owners will usually be able to tell your doll's gender but random people won't. Your average non-doll collecting person associates "doll" with little girl porcelain doll or sexy woman anime figure no matter how boyish they are. If someone sees my dolls or photos of my dolls their response is usually either:

1) Did you make that? :O
2) She is so pretty!
3) That gives me the creeps (expected uncanny valley response)

I don't usually correct people who mistake my boy dolls for girls and just say "thank you" when they tell me "she is pretty."

 

I can totally understand how people - even people who've been in the hobby a long time - could mis-gender boy dolls and think they're girls, especially with the proliferation of boys dressed and styled as girls. Half the time I can't tell, and I've been in the hobby over seven years. I mean, honestly, if a doll is styled in a stereotypically "feminine" way, what are people supposed to think? I just refer to these dolls with the gender-neutral pronoun "they" to be on the safe side.

What I don't understand is how people manage to mis-gender boys who don't look like girls. I have two boys with beards and even they've been called "she" and "girl" by people both outside and inside the hobby. Ironically, my IMPL Tony, who has very long pale hair and frequently wears a pink dress shirt, has never been mistaken for a girl. Go figure.

 

@SapphireStargazer ... I am soooo pleased you have trouble gender-fying dolls too!!!!
I am pretty new to the hobby, and constantly get it wrong when reading doll profiles etc... Looking and thinking they are female, just to read that they are a male character. But, thinking a beard belongs to 'She' is like, whhhhaaat???!!

 

If I have a doll who is borderline hard to tell, or even a long haired guy, I don't really care at first, since most non-doll people do associate dolls with Barbies or babies. Even within the hobby, it's not unusual to use a female sculpt as male or vice versa, and some bodies, especially clothed, are hard to tell. It is a little weird to me when people misgender, say, Iplehouse EID men and women. But it happens. That doesn't bother me.

BUT! When I have corrected the person and they continue to do it, it really annoys me, and then I tend to think they're doing it on purpose. I had a coworker at my last job who kept saying my boy "had to" be a girl. Or when my dad kept referring to my first doll (an Angel of Dream muscular guy in a men's suit with a short wig) as "that girl". Mistakes happen, but once you've been corrected, you need to start getting it right.

 

I honestly don't understand why doll owners get so upset over this...especially when they crossdress their boys. ^.^;; I expect it I guess, especially when a sculpt isn't necessarily locked into a gender. Sure, it may look masculine/feminine, but that doesn't mean every doll you come across is going to be that gender specific.

Now that I can understand...that is just rudeness. O.O

 

A large number of my boys have long hair and because they are pretty, they're often mistaken for girls. I do correct people that they're not girls and that's usually enough. However I did have one person insist that one of my boy had to be a girl because of the long hair and "make-up". I have no problem pantsing any of my boys and there was a certain bit of satisfaction going on when they saw the boy bits and gasped in surprise.

I've come to accept it as a norm that people automatically assume my boys are girls, usually because of the long hair and many wear a style of clothing based on ancient Chinese clothes that gets mistaken for a dress. I'll gently correct the error and then pants the doll in question if the person persists in calling him a her.

 

Oddly enough, despite all these stories I read of owners getting super upset about their boy dolls being constantly mistaken as girls, I've never ACTUALLY seen someone say anything about it in real life other than a quick (and non-angry) 'Oh, he's a boy.' When people call my dolls girls I just agree with them and don't bother to correct them unless it's someone like my husband or sisters. It seems like these stories of owners getting irate and loud-mouthed about it are alot like the 'Volks elitist' stories...hugely exaggerated online and mostly nonexistent in reality.

 

I think it's normal to be a bit annoyed, but I've never felt irate or upset, and I've never yelled at anyone. It's pretty okay because the only people who get confused are non-doll collectors and half the time I don't bother to correct them.

 

Honestly even doll people have had a hard time recognizing the gender of some of my dolls. It's understandable with the smaller dolls because they're usually sculpted pretty androgynously but one of my large guys in particular keeps getting called a lady because of his long hair despite his chest and abs being partially exposed. He is pretty though, so I don't take much offense. I think as long as a doll falls in between the dichotomy of "obviously female" (Dollfie Dreams, Iplehouse women, etc.) and "obviously male" (Iplehouse men, Granado men, etc.) then it's easy for non-hobbyists to make that mistake.

 

I can usually tell the gender of a doll, but I could see how it would be a little confusing. There is a wide variety of androgynous males in the BJD realm, so I'm pretty understanding when it comes to people calling "he" a "she". I don't think people should get too bent out of shape about it, especially if they are complimenting the doll by calling him/her pretty

 

My parents have two dachshunds, a boy and girl, but they both call the male "she". Even they don't know why. It's habit by now. I think some people call all dolls by female pronouns, even when they can see otherwise.
People whose first language includes gendered nouns often carry that through into English, too.
So I think their can be a variety of reasons someone would call a beaded doll female. I don't think most people mean anything by it.

 

ah man this happens all the time. i don't have any especially feminine boys, but people still misgender them all the time. even my iplehouse boy has been called a girl and he's very boyish looking haha. i have one boy doll (kyle, my mystic kids milo) i will sometimes dress in pink, purple, heart-pattern shirts, etc, so a lot of people just assume that means he is a girl haha.

it doesn't bother me at all unless people are going to be rude and insistent about a doll's gender by using gender stereotypes to reinforce what they're trying to say like: "NO that is definitely not a boy idc what you say blah blah he looks like he's wearing girl clothes wah wah" etc etc. that kind of comment gets annoying haha, but that has never happened to me and i've only seen it happen to other people a few times.

i've never seen anyone get incredibly upset about their doll being misgendered. usually people make a post to inform people or correct them and then life continues. personally i can understand it. sometimes even i can't tell! i don't like to assume, so i will use gender neutral term until i find out for sure just in case.

i don't really mind it and i usually don't bother correcting people, especially if they are outside of the hobby. people tend not to misgender my dolls now because i always caption photos with their names when i post pictures and my boys have pretty "boyish" names haha (funnily enough so does my lone girl doll, but hey).

 

I have taken my doll out with me to work and other places. My boys often get called girls by my family or co-workers. I usually just tell them politely that they're boys and that usually fixes the problem. I can see why my boys get called girls though. Most of them wear suits but most of them have some kind of frills or ruffles on them. When my boys are wearing modern clothing like jeans and a shirt, they usually don't get misgendered.

I think I only had one time where I was annoyed by someone who insisted I change a doll's gender. I was sitting at a church activity and this one guy kept telling me that one of my dolls was a girl and should be wearing dresses. I think it's because the doll had long hair at the time with bright red lips and long eyelashes. Even when I kept telling him it was a boy, he kept telling me that it should be a girl.

 

It doesn't bother me since I know it comes from the uncanny valley. BJDs fall into that for a lot of people, too realistic and human-like but with something just slightly off. It gives people a natural fright response and most can only articulate it as "creepy." I find as a gamer and BJD owner my uncanny valley is super narrow.

 

My go-to response to things like 'oh, she's pretty' from non-doll people is 'thanks, I ordered him from Korea' (or some such thing), but without making a big deal of the 'him'. Which is about the same response I'd give if I showed a stranger a photo of my cat and got the same response. My cat has big blue eyes and long hair, and like dolls being a 'feminine' hobby, people tend to think 'cat=girl and dog=boy'...

Sometimes my dolls look pretty girly anyway... and when they don't, I can understand the mistake... Since neither the dolls nor the cat can really have their feelings hurt by a compliment being misgendered, I don't normally get bent out of shape the way I would if it was a human friend being misgendered, I guess.

 

I don't have this problem with my bigger dolls, but when I showed my mom my Soom Cheshire (purple, small, full lips, long violet eyelashes, there's some lace on his outfit) she of course thought it was a girl. I didn't care enough to correct her, and if the doll is ambiguous enough, I usually don't bother.

Like others have said, I think it would only bother me if they continued after being corrected. Otherwise, I'm so nonchalant about my own gender that I think it carries over to my dolls.

 

Oh, I'm sure people don't mean anything by it. That wasn't the point I was trying to make. I don't actually care if people mis-gender my boys and I don't usually bother attempting to correct people when they do. All I was saying is that I find it baffling that someone whose first language is English and all other things being equal could look at a male doll with a beard and think "she". I am bilingual and one of my languages is a language with gendered nouns. "Doll" is, in fact, a feminine noun so I get why someone whose first language isn't English would just refer to all dolls as "she". It's more or less the equivalent of an English speaker referring to all dolls by a gender-neutral pronoun "it" (because a doll is an object).

As for the thing with dogs, I have a female Boston terrier and my parents also have a female Boston terrier. When the two dogs are together, my parents' dog is often called a boy by people who see her. My parents' dog looks more bulldog-ish (and therefore more "tough" and "masculine") than my dog, and we think that's the reason people identify her as male.

 

I'm kind of surprised no one has mistaken my doll for a girl yet, considering he's an explicit cross dresser. Maybe it's his size? There aren't that many 72 cm girls out there, I suppose. Then again, I haven't shown him to any non doll people yet, so that might help.

I've found I'm pretty good at discerning doll genders, but I've also never had problems identifying girly anime boys as boys, either. Generally I think Asian media has different conventions about what's considered masculine and feminine than the West...I mean, look at a boy and girl doll side by side and I think it should be fairly obvious their genders, no matter how androgynous the boy is. You just have to be able to read the conventions in the first place (I mean, considering you get ignorant Westerners thinking k-pop stars look like girls, yeah, I don't think it's only a doll thing).

 

For outsiders is weird that male dolls wear make up (at least in my experience). My friend said that this guy here (my manliest looking doll haha) looks like a girl because he wears lipstick and eyeshadow but I just laughed it off. I'm aware that my boys are not the manliest guys ever since I lean towards the pretty/cute androgynous type of doll so I really don't get mad.

I do get mad when people complain about the pretty/girly boys but that's another story. ^^

 

My father asked if Takanori was a girl the other day but he actually corrected himself quickly.
He's wearing tight hotpants and you can see he's not a girl XD

 

Honestly, many of the 'male' sculpts look very feminine and I do find it difficult to tell the difference sometimes. I compare it to some anime men looking feminine and having the same problem. This is why I'm very picky about my male dolls.

Should you get mad when your male doll is confused for a female? Probably not, unless someone is saying it in a spiteful, rude demeanor.

But that's my two cents worth.

 

I actually had a really funny experience with my grandpa recently my grandpa is a really gruff grumpy old fashioned macho Mexican man and I was sitting at the table with my doll who is currently modeling some of my incoming doll's clothes (it's bright pink and blue) and he goes " so you shaved off your doll's hair like yours" (it's short but not shaved) and I said no he's a boy and he laughed and said " is he supposed to be Michael Jackson or Prince " I of course didn't even know he knew about how Prince dressed it was hilarious especially considering that it's supposed to be an 80s outfit I always get mildly annoyed when my boy gets called a girl but that was gold

 

I don't mind it too much when people think my only boy doll is a girl. He's got the best eyelashes, liner, and eyeshadow What bugs me is, in hobby or outsider, when I say "oh he's a boy" and they persist in calling him a girl. My mom flat out asked "Can I just say girl?? Why can't I say girl?" And after again saying no he's a boy she asked "Does he have a pee pee?"
Yes. My 55 year old mother asked me if my doll had a pee pee. I was already irked at the situation and then I got to see another glimpse of her transphobia (seriously, she's not respectful outside of the doll hobby) so I just said "yes" and left the room. That's my biggest story. Most people get it right after a few reminders. Hey, he is a pretty boy. But he's a boy.

 

I've watched anime for a long time, and am addicted to KDramas & KPop - hearing people ask me if the actual Asian ACTORS on my phone are male or female happens (one of the pics is Jiro Wang shirtless w/his chocolate abs, from Absolute Boyfriend - WHY would ANYONE think that pic looked feminine is beyond my ken). So hearing people call my dolls 'she' - even when an Iplehouse EID w/a beard (Dexter) LOL - doesn't surprise me.
However, I have gotten VERY irritated at some people who just keep it up talking about how 'girly' the doll looks. I got ticked at one of my friends who kept calling my Rui (who's sculpt is a dead ringer for Changmin - TVXQ) a girl - he's on a Volks Grwn body (NOT girly) and although his face could be called feminine I had him in a Star Trek male uniform w/short hair, and had TOLD my friend it was a boy, AND made to look like a REAL LIVE male person - I too threatened to expose my poor doll there & then LOL

 

Mistakes happen. It's not a big deal IMO to mistake someone for the wrong sex based on their physical appearance. I was routinely mistaken for a male until I hit adolescence, no matter what I wore. I'm speaking from firsthand experience. It's exasperating, but correcting someone politely is the best initial response. If they won't listen or start to get nasty? Yeah by all means pull that doll's pants down,

 

I think w/the obvious guys (DEXTER for instance, ones w/beards, or who are shirtless & obviously hunks) is that they are dolls and some people have a natural tendency to think 'female'. Lack of initial observation. My fav response was when I brought TWO dolls to a Star Trek meeting - one was a 70 cm Dikadoll Ty in a torn uniform ala Kirk (ie showing his chest a lot) & the other was a Ringdoll girl w/a huge bust done up as YN Rand LOL Somebody asked why the one doll was so flat-chested! I just laughed a lot.

 

I agree with most people here. If someone misgenders a doll, particularly the feminine looking boys, it's not that big of a deal and can usually be corrected politely. I've had friends and family misgender my boys. I know I like long hair on men so that's what more of my dolls have, Raleigh (my icon) being the exception. However, what annoys me are those who keep using the wrong pronoun even after being corrected.

There was one point I brought Raleigh to a sci fi club meeting and, for the most part, had a lovely time. The president was actually into BJDs, which I had no idea so she and I had a wonderful conversation before the meeting began. However, there was one person who thought his opinion on Raleigh's gender was the only one that counted no matter what I said. When I told him that Raleigh was male, he ignored me at first and then decided my doll was trans and started being a bigot. By the time I walked out of club, he followed me and continued to make rude comments about me, Raleigh, and transgender people in general.

The was probably the most negative experience I've had.

My father called my 65cm Dollzone boy a girl despite the fact that he was naked at the time (I was in the middle of unpacking his clothes) and obviously male. That situation was more funny than anything else.

 

Yesterday I went to a store to pick up a doll I had reserved. And the salesperson still called him a girl! lol I do correct people tho because I don't like that people think men or boys have to look a certain way. And I know there's the idea that dolls are just for girls. But I've met so mane men, not even boys, men who are into dolls. And I think it might make them feel even more welcome to know the hobby isn't so female-centric.

 

Johnny and Alistair are both a bit on the effeminate side. I didn't intend for Alistair to be such a mega-fop hair metal type, but he is. When someone screws up their gender I just giggle and say "Actually he's a boy." Then I get a kick out of the other person's expression. It's no big deal for me. If I'm going to drag Johnny and Alistair around in public with long wigs and brightly-colored tops, then I'd best just accept gaffes from the uninitiated.

 

Originally I only had two dolls, one was a DoC H. Kirill who was styled as a girl. Although he never wore dresses his clothes were cute with a lot of colors. My father really liked 'her' a lot and he never got to believe that it was a guy.

I still like effeminate dolls a lot but because my dad keeps referring to them as 'she' I don't mind if others does the same. I don't really have that many girly dolls left, most of them have become actual girls, but I haven't experienced many who couldn't see the gender of my dolls. I guess I have been lucky that way

 

I have an bobobie Apollo and everyone thinks hes a girl and I'm like but hes a pretty guy, I don't take it personal but its understandable since hes my only male doll

 

Eh, it doesn't bother me. I get misgendered frequently, my son gets misgendered even more frequently, and we just sort of shrug it off because we don't fit into narrow and traditional gender stereotypes. If it isn't hurting our feelings, then why on earth would I have my feelings hurt over a doll being called a "girl" when he's a boy?

If someone presses the point, though, or is argumentative, I pants the doll. My dad pretty quickly learned to just take me at my word if I said a doll was a male.

 

I like genderbending dolls, so take it for what you will.

Only one that really ever tripped me up was Souldoll's Ruan which I ended up getting with a female body just because he's so cute, but anyway, I wouldn't get angry if it were just some random person who simply wanted to know out of curiousity. I think that it is good for there to be some ambiguity for gender and sexuality and I think that it would be good for more people to appreciate things for what they are artistically and proportionately are.

I think if someone is asking, objectively, what your dolls parts are, you should just be upfront and honest and not fuss over it; but some people are also obviously degrading when they ask such things, and you would have every right to be offended if they are inquiring derisively. There are, unfortunately, too many people who still view the world in pink and blue and red and black and cannot appreciate a handsome woman or a beautiful man.

Not going to lie, if bought a Crobi Lance head, I would probably put it on a female body (and I do think it's quite a beautiful sculpt) but I don't see the point in fussing over it. Hell, Alice Cooper is a straight man who took a girl's name and wears make-up, but most people would probably not take much issue with him anymore. Times are changing, and have been for a while, but some people are just quicker or slower to catch up than others, and some simply never will, it's just something you have to learn to live with.

 

I love when I'm out and someone asks if a doll is a boy or girl. I get to go into lecture mode to explain how to tell the difference. I think I've only met one or two people that haven't fled after giving me the creeper out look. Lol.

 

I was a bit annoyed when my parents mistook my Xagadoll boy for a girl, but then he was in the most gender neutral girls clothes I had since I had no boys clothes when I got him. And he is rather feminine looking.

 

I wouldn't care what pronoun people used for my dolls.

 

Some people just think all dolls=girls, no matter what the doll itself looks like. Iplehouse EID man without a shirt? Girl. Unidoll Ark? Girl. Completely naked male doll with erect "option parts?" Girl (because???). It's like my grandma who thinks every cat is a boy and will still call a girl cat a boy, even my cousin's cat who was clearly pregnant and clearly gave birth to kittens is still somehow a boy to her.

 

I don't make a big deal out of it when it happens, but I do roll my eyes at just how badly people *look* at things. I have a boy on a Feeple65 body. He is an early medieval Irish prince, so he wears a long tunic (to most people: "a dress") and no trousers. He also has long red hair - back in the days, the law mentioned the punishments you could get for cutting off a man's long hair, so it was pretty important!

Dress + long hair = non-doll owners take him for a girl. But seriously, on that body?! Do they think he must be a boobless bodybuilder lady on steroids?!

Then again, "dress + long hair = woman" seems to be the golden rule for most people. My drawings of Snape (shoulder-length hair + robes) have elicited comments of "oh that lady looks pretty grumpy". It doesn't matter that he has a large hooknose, a prominent cleft chin, large sideburns and a chest as flat as an ironing board... -_-

 

I agree - the lack of observation gets really irritating - not just about dolls either. Just in general. People who don't even bother to really look, or just assume stuff - it's tiresome. There certainly ARE a lot of effeminate-looking male dolls out there but sorry, if a person calls my Dexter (beard, in a SUIT, totally buff) 'feminine-looking' then they simply haven't a clue what they are talking about.

 

I gave up this particular battle a long time ago. There's just no getting around the larger cultural expectation that "doll = girl". Not in any general sense, anyway.

The day that a group of otherwise very bright, very rational people (My coworkers at the time-) insisted... and I mean absolutely, positively INSISTED, even after I said "Err, no. Totally not a girl doll. Trust me." and then let a couple of them hold and see the guy up close... that my Akando was a lady was the day that I raised the proverbial white flag. If that crew not only mistook Palrah for a girl at first glance, but then stuck to their first impression with that much conviction after having a closer look? Nope. That's a war that can't be won, and if a doll like that's getting the it's-a-girl classification, what chance does something like a long-haired Delf guy in hanfu have?

So, I'd just say take a "She's pretty"-type compliment in the spirit it's given and don't worry over the details. You might be able to give a kindly correction to some people and have it stick, but until/unless the background noise of the culture as a whole changes when it comes to the expectations surrounding dolls as a concept, no amount of training individuals will really put a stake in the issue.

 

I had that happen at a restaurant; the hostess asked if Icarus was a girl. I said, "Nope, he's a boy." She asked if I just like 'say he's a boy' because she assumed the dolls were like Ken dolls. So I said, "No. He's a boy." She got all excited and asked me to show her so poor Icarus got his pants yanked down in the restaurant. She got such a kick out of it, it was hilarious, and she called over two waitresses to see.

 

My Alistair is a Kirill too, so I feel you.

 

I had to giggle at that, but I totally agree with you. I see so may boys dressed as girls I'm not sure what to call them anymore. I just say it's a nice doll. ^^;

 

I don't have a boy doll, but I admit I've been that person who thinks a boy doll is a girl by the way it was dressed and styled. I don't ever say anything, but when the owner says "he" I think to myself, that's a boy?! and then move on with my life haha For non-doll people, getting the response of my doll being creepy really grates on my nerves. I think it's so rude to say in the first place, I can't stand it

 

My male Luts Wintery13 was once called "girl". Granted, the sculpt could easily pass for either sex and his face-up wasn't overly masculine, but I was still a bit... disappointed, I suppose. After mulling it over, I realised that what made me upset was not the fact that he had been misgendered, but the fact that clearly he didn't look at all as masculine as the character he was supposed to have. So in a way I'm still grateful to that person for making me realise I had shelled him into completely the wrong sculpt (not the only reason, but it started me off).

In general, like has been mentioned, people outside the hobby tend to assume dolls are female and thus will be far quicker to use female pronouns even if they do notice masculine traits. I'll usually only correct people when I expect them to come across the doll in question more often and I'd like them to get it right. Otherwise I'm not bothered, and if I'm not sure about someone else's doll I will use "they" just to be on the safe side. I have yet to see anyone get downright angry about misgendering their doll, but the stories must exist for a reason...

 

I honestly kinda feel like freaking out over someone misgendering a doll is so... petty. It's not a person, it's an inanimate object, who cares? Even if it's a doll of your most preciousest character ever, it's still a figment of your imagination, not an actual person.

I've had boy dolls referred to as "she" (shoulder-length curly blonde hair, long eyelashes, and a dress-like winter coat... IDK I can totally see how someone might guess that to be a girl), and when I said "oh yeah he is whatever" the person got really freaked out and started apologizing like they offended me. It kinda made me sad, like, maybe this person got told off before for mis-gendering a doll before and that's why they were reacting so apologetic. IMO any kind of offense and that kind of reaction should be reserved for mis-gendering anyone who actually has feelings and to whom usage of gender pronouns actually means something. =/

 

I correct people, but I don't really mind as long as they call them male once they know. However I've always had what some call a baby face, and my Adams apple is basically none existent... so have been mistaken for a girl myself... so you could say I'm so used to it I don't care anymore! xD

 

I hate stupidity. If someone has SEEN the doll unclothed, then guess what? It is STUPID to call the male doll "SHE". I don't get bothered when people say certain of my dolls LOOK female - so many of the male sculpts are rather effeminate by Western standards. I do shake my head and LAUGH at the people calling the very buff, very masculine dolls I have 'she'. Cause it's STUPID, ok? I'd feel so stupid if I misidentified something which was obvious.
As for 'oh it doesn't hurt this chunk of resin' kind of nonsense, you know, that's not the point. It upsets the owners of the dolls. Calling dolls 'chunks of resin' actually does as well, very often! So congrats, those of you who like to do that all the time, you've upset people the same way those who misgender the dolls do.

 

Why would anyone care if someone calls their own dolls or random company photos of dolls "chunks of resin?" If someone mistaking the gender of a doll or calling it a chunk of resin hurts someone then they really need to grow a thicker skin.

 

This only happened to me once with one doll. It was the time I showed my first doll to my mom. From a generational perspective I can see why her first thought was that he was a girl. I think he had a long wig at the time and his face up does read as "makeup" plus he's very pretty with soft features. But who cares.

I wasn't offended, I wasn't really surprised either. We both laughed and I agreed with her. In fairness if one considers the audience, the generation, cultural background and exposure - it really shouldn't be surprising in many cases. To be honest I don't get offended by the opinions or perceptions of people who aren't in a similar or related hobby. I'm not into sports; a hugely popular hobby/interest in the USA and I guarantee you that I have said some things that drive sports fans batty.

 

I would probably get a bit upset, too. But that is mainly because most people also misgender my dog just because he wears a red collar. I just dislike when people assume gender of anyone just because of colors and looks. Like when I wear a pink shirt, does it suddenly make me a female?
I think misgendering is just a big thing for me because some of my friends are transgender and I take that stuff too personal because I know how they feel when being misgendered and even if it is "just a doll" but they are family to me and most BJD owners, too, so that is probably why...

 

WHATEVER the reason, it is a fact that a lot of people DO get upset by it. Period. So be aware!

 

I'm aware that people flip out over a lot of silly things these days, I'm not going to go out of my way to cater to their infantile sensibilities. If I'm talking about my own beautiful, inanimate, unfeeling chunks of resin and someone butts in and decides to be offended on my dolls' behalf (what, because they think the dolls are real people or something?) I'm not going to change my ways to suit this random person, I'm going to be like "who are you and why are you trying to dictate how I speak about my own possessions?" They can refer to their dolls however they like. They can refer to MY dolls however they like. What they don't get to do is dictate my vocabulary.

 

My father did this to me a while back and ticked me off. Doll did have long hair, but also had a full freaking BEARD like omg?
"Oh she's cool" he said. "He's a boy. He has a beard." "oh I just thought her face was dirty!"
-_-
So offended. It wasn't so much the misgendering I think as the criticism of my faceup I think that got me upset. "dirty face" was not my intention and hearing that he just thought my work was a mistake was super aggravating.

ON a similar note, my off topic hujoo boy totally looked like a girl when I first did his faceup. He has SUCH a pretty delicate face. So I gave him a goatee in a vain attempt to make him look more masculine lol. He's still super pretty but at least to MY eye he looks like a boy. My dad will think he has a dirty face too i'm sure -_-

 

I can understand someone making a mistake the first time they see a doll, but after they've been corrected there's absolutely no excuse for misgendering to continue. It's ridiculous that there are people who refuse to listen to what the doll's owner has to say. So what if a doll looks "too feminine" to be a "proper guy"?? Guys can be feminine too!

Even if people don't mean any harm by it, I still don't think it's an okay thing to happen. In my opinion, it shows a huge lack of respect. And it scares me, too: as a trans person, if people won't believe my pretty doll is a boy when I tell them he is, how can I trust they'll believe me about my gender? Will they continue to insist I'm something I'm not, just like they insist a boy doll is a girl? It's a scary and upsetting thought.

 

I had a rather unsettling conversation w/a co-worker about my SoulDoll Onulharu (who is basically a mini-me sculpt of Lee Jong Suk, Korean actor & heartthrob...). Another person who just kept on INSISTING he was a she, and when I said, exasperated, that he was made to look like a real person, this co-worker told me that all the Korean guys (actually said Asian actors) looked like girls. I mean, that's idiotic for one thing and it felt very uncomfortable.

 

I can't imagine getting personally offended over it, but I also can't always tell a boy sculpt from a girl one, particularly if the head has been placed on a new body. My first doll was a Luts Harang styled as a female, and I've come to realize that I really like the boy heads from Luts/CP styled on female bodies.

 

I don't mind people mistaking their genders. I get it, why they're confused, but am too lazy to correct them