Rude to Ask to Touch Other's Dolls?

providing your hards are clean and you can be seen to handle them correctly i dont think its rude at all.

if people dont want to be asked they shouldn't bring their dolls to meets. if they just want people to look they could bring a picture instead.

 

I think it simply depends on the person. I know some people who are incredibly eager to explain their doll, to let others look, to touch, who are very open to the idea. Others are more shy. They want to go to meet-ups, and share their dolls with others, but in a more personal way. They may want to share in the experience of owning dolls, but you have to keep in mind these things are very sentimental and personal to some people, so there might be hesitation. In my experience though, most people are rather friendly.

Personally, it also depends on the person asking, whether they seem very polite, very careful - or if they're just asking offhand, with a relatively careless air.

 

I agree, too! ^__^

I'd think that if I were to ask, I'd just make sure my hands were clean, and I didn't look like I'd dirty their doll. Also, at a con you'll be likely to be carrying lots of things or wearing a costume- make sure your hands are free so you won't drop it (even if you know you can handle a bag and a doll or something, the person would probably want your hands completely free ^_^) and nothing on your costume that could scratch or color the resin.

After all that, just make sure your calm (I've seen hyperactive people at cons, even the meet if it's part of the larger con). People get really excited at the conventions, you don't want to look like you're insane or otherwise waaay too hyper to handle the person's important possessions that cost them more than $100. There are a lot of people at the con, you need to make sure you distinguish yourself as one of the sane (or at least calm XD) ones before they'll consider giving you their doll to hold.

Now, that should be enough for a lot of the owners to allow you to look at their doll a little closer, it's just important to keep that trust. Stay beside the owner, in their sight, ect. If you take the doll and run off to another corner of the meet or even dash behind a group to sit down or show a friend, this will make the owner panic. I would, like when you go to the store and your child runs off, I guess.

And just deal with the ruder people kindly. Chances are they're just trying to indeed 'get their point across', or maybe they've had a bad experience with letting someone hold their dolls. So, just say something like, "Oh, thanks anyway," and maybe stick around to look. If you ask them a few polite questions and aren't invasive, then who knows, maybe they'll reconsider.

:3 I've been to one meet at a con, and I didn't have my dolls so I just got a spectator view. I was too nervous to ask somebody to hold a doll, but looking back- most of those people would've most likely gladly let me! ^___^ You won't know until you ask, and I'd say that it is NOT rude. The worst they could say is "No," or a ruder version of "No." XDDD

 

Much better to ask than not to ask, that's for sure!

 

I have found most people are willing to let others reasonably handle their dolls (I am) if asked before hand. Though that's not to say everyone is. What Shadow Jam said above about clean hands and handling them gently and with more care than if it was your own pretty much outline most people's main concerns.

I don't consider it rude to ask and frankly don't see why it would be it's just a request and a show of interest in the doll. However some people are more protective than others which is why they may decline you, if they are outright mean about it though I would consider them rude. I'd say if you want to get some experience handling them then I'd say go for it and ask. I think there are likely just as many people out there who are willing to let you then there are who aren't.

Another tip I could give you is if you do go to a meet you can always scope out who likely is willing to let you touch their doll by waiting a bit as seeing if they let others hand them.

 

I'll more then likely just ask if I could shake their doll by the hand so I can feel what the resin feels like..I'd be too nervous to hold their doll completely ^^;

[Though would that make them think I was mad? xD]

 

Oh god i love the way this topic title cuts off on the main page xD

For me it's rather a case of the doll itself. I don't mind people touching, posing or playing with my dolls. But with my Delphine i'm more likely to just let them have a quick hold the take her back.

 

Picking up a doll without asking: Rude. And an owner of a doll has every right to be rude in return.

Asking to hold a doll: Polite, and the owner, whether or not they say yes or no, should in turn be polite and grateful that the person asked first. If they think it's rude, they need to take the stick out of their ass.

I'm also going to Otakon and I'd let you hold my dolly if you'd like. ^_^

 

I think it's more rude to grab than to ask. At least if you have asked, the owner has the option of allowing you or saying no. It's nice to have a choice when it comes to your own possessions :p

 

Just adding to what Emmychu said:

Also, if at all possible try and be sitting down on the ground when handling someone else's doll for the first time. A friend of mine who has an MSD (a friend, mind you, not even a stranger, who will probably be more frightful of drops since they don't know you) insisted I be sitting on the floor before handing me hers to hold for the first time. And I'm glad she did for many reasons.

1. They can be alot heavier then you'd think at first.
2. If you have them standing on the ground already and are just handling them a bit the owner will most likely be more comfortable with it since there is such little space to fall, unlike if you were standing which for most is a 4+ foot drop.
3. It makes you realize just how careful you should be when handling someone else's posession regardless, specially with the price. Doing so shows you are serious about being responsible with their doll and are doing everything in your power to absolutely not hurt their doll.

Really, people just want to know you'll be calm, responsible and respectful of their dolls. Just think about what ways you could do that and do it! Very few people in the doll world would turn down someone the chance to hold their dolls if they see them acting in such a responsible manner. Although keep in mind some still will.

(That being said, I still have yet to hold an SD and hope I will get the chance in the next few months when I go to some conventions and meet-ups. )

Oh! And anothing thing that may help: If you're planning to go to a meet-up you've seen a thread for or something which is in the area, it'd be only polite to ask in the thread if anyone who is attending the meet would mind allowing you to hold one of their dolls when you attend. You'll most likely have a few people who would be more then happy to let you and even mentor you a bit beforehand.

Really, I don't find it rude to ask to hold someone's doll. I consider it rude to just snatch away someone's doll, however. It's a pretty natural reaction for someone who is clearly already interested in the hobby to want to hold one.

 

If you ask first, then I don't see how it could be conceived as rude. Personally, as a doll owner, I don't mind letting people see and handle my dolls. As long as I'm there supervising, there's no issue. Most of the meetups I go to are pretty laid back as well. Providing the individual isn't being rough (and if I'm right there I can prevent that), then they're unlikely to get damaged--after all, it isn't like they don't get handled all the time anyway. The two things I warn people about that have never handled a bjd before is that they are heavy, and to just avoid touching their faceup When it comes to fellow doll people, I really don't worry about it. Of all the meetups I've been to in various places, there has only ever been one person that has ever made me nervous.

 

I agree, if you ask, it cannot really be described as rude. It's not like touching a doll is a major taboo in our society.

I took my MSD to a con last year, with a friend who had another doll with her. There was also a stand of dolls on display there. They had notices saying "Please don't touch these dolls!" on them, but during the doll meet session of the con (and at other doll meets I've been to with the same people) the dolls were passed around and everyone got to 'play' with each others. While we were at the Con, some people asked about the dolls, and I actually offered mine to lots of people to hold. Most declined because they'd "heard how expensive they are". In my opinion, it's never rude to ask, of course people might want to hold a doll if they're curious and as long as they're careful (no stickyness or dirt or sharp things or hyperness or shiftiness*gasp* i'll stop listing now, it's been said before) I'd always let them.

At doll meets I always ask before handling the dolls of someone I don't know, but they've never said 'no'.

 

Although I never been to a doll meeting.
I would think if the owner is kind enough to let you hold their doll, never touch the face up! It would be most polite, I think.

 

I'd start out talking to them, asking questions or commenting on the doll, showing your interested in buying one and would like a chance to be hands on, as you said. I think that will give you a higher chance of a yes then just "pretty doll can i hold?" XD I got handed the first doll i held without even realizing what was going on. I now own said doll, and am glad i got to hold him and play with him a bit so i already knew some things about him when i got him. Personally i think as long as you are polite and respectful no one should be rude to you because then they are just being rude. But yeah, talk to them, then ask, and you should be just fine!

 

Handling someone's dolls is just like handling any other expensive item belonging to someone else -- with care and respect, for both object and owner. Definitely ask before you touch a doll, it's common courtesy And it's worth letting the owner know it's your first time holding/posing them. If ever nervous, give the doll back or put it down -- at a recent meet-up when I held other owners' dolls for the first time, I was comfortable holding the MSDs and SDs, but was nervous of posing a 70cm doll on the table, so I let the owner stand him up even though she allowed me to. I think it's a good idea to sit down to be extra careful. And if you have any questions at all, doesn't hurt to ask After all, you're amongst experts.

 

In my experience, it's always been an ask-before-touch policy. There seem to be plenty of "unspoken" rules that alot of doll collectors seem to take as common sense. The ones I follow, and prefer if others follow concerning my dolls are:

-Talk first! This applies to pretty much anything, but make sure you're not the random grabby person in the crowd! Ask questions, get a feel for the owner. Some folks will NOT want their dolls touched, and you'll get pretty quick at spotting them with just a bit of conversation.

-Make sure your hands are clean. I don't want grubby hands on my dolls, and I'm sure nobody else does, either.

-Ask before touching. You would do the same to, say, meeting a new dog, or touching anything that someone might consider precious.

-NEVER touch the faceup. Try to avoid touching fingernails as well if they're manicured.

-Handle with care and caution. Think about how much money has gone into the doll, and whether or not you'd be willing to pay to replace or repair. Remember that a doll isn't just a monetary investment--it's also an emotional one! You certainly wouldn't want someone to flail about with an infant all willy-nilly... and those are a bit more resilient than some dolls! XD

-*grin* This one's one of my own personal rules... please don't drop trou/look under skirts/grope the dolls.

-Remember to return the doll, if you've been holding it. (It can be easy to forget you're holding something while deep in conversation!)

-Say "Thank you!" A little manners go along way.

Some owners are very comfortable with passing their dolls around and letting others handle them. Some aren't. Just be respectful of both the doll and the owner, and I guarantee you'll make a friend for life!

(Also, we're pretty liberal about wanting to spread our addictions, aren't we?)

 

Most people think it's rude when you pick a doll up and you didn't ask, but if you ask there's no problem.
I like it when people play with my dolls, but I like to be asked first so I know where my doll is and I can point out I'd rather not have anyone touch it's face (because of the face-up).

 

I only have two rules about it.

Ask before touching

don't touch the face.

Thats the only rule I have about people touching my doll, I dont mind it people don't muss her wig or touch her face

 

Pretty much anyone I'd be willing to talk to in the first place can hold my doll. So, like, if you're a normal person, sure. If you're wearing cat ears and a poorly fitting corset and I can't even understand what you're blathering about (I'm sure you know the kind of person I'm talking about), then no and I'm probably not going to be terribly polite about it xD Also, if you're a doll owner too and your dolls are looking pretty gnarly, I'm not going to let you touch either. This mostly goes for conventions, because that's the only time I really see people who would want to hold him in the first place.

 

Excellent points from many of you, especially Lyzrd & Lita.
I don't mind at all letting anyone hold my kids. The first time I approached someone with their doll at a large show, I looked for a few minutes and chatted up the person holding it, asking questions that made it clear I was familiar with BJD's and was interested in them. I may have remarked that I was considering buying one in that size as well.
Good places to see & handle dolls are doll shows as well as your local meetup. Here in Atlanta, we have frequent shows with doll dealers from around the US bringing their dolls for display and sale. I have never had anyone refuse to let me hold anything, although being calm & mellow probably helps. Meets are the very best place, even without a doll accompanying you. Our group has a huge variety of dolls from giant Bishe boys to the wee Pukis and everyone is wonderfully friendly.

 

I normally offer to people if they would like to hold my doll. One girl asked me if it was ok to touch her boobs lol. Kit's gay so she probably brags about it to this day.

 

Hrm. I know, personally, when I went to my first meet, I didn't ask to hold anyone's dolls until the very end, and even then I was so afraid that he was going to just break in my hands. She offered a few times beofre I actually took her up on the offer. I had been speaking with the owner (who was dressed as teh CUTEST pikachu ever~) for most of the meet and I found we were both pretty "new" on the doll scene even though we've been interested for years.

I'm pretty sure that this goes across the board for most owners, but looking is fine, grabby hands are not. I'll approach an owner and inquire about the doll, but never reach out to touch him/her or try and ask to hold them if they seem apprehensive about me gawking. ^^;

As for me, I'll let people hold MY doll, but I swear... no faceup touching... and don't take his wig off unless you know how. TT^TT I'd be devastated if my custom wig was ruined because someone just ripped it off. Even though it's a hobby, and you want to share the love, great amounts of money and time are put into the dolls, so in the end, if you ask to touch, and are told no, don't push it... >.>

Sorry for post... about nothing really. I babble. ^^;

 

I think asking someone is the proper thing to do and if someone is rude (assuming you were polite in your request) their just a jackass. Certainly people have the right to tell you no but they should do so in the same manner the request was made in.

 

At the first meet I went to I didn't have a BJD of my own yet and even without asking several people offered me their dolls to hold. If I hadn't received an offer to hold them I would have asked.

I'm personally happy to let others hold my dolls and new arrivals tend to get passed around at meets (although I must admit I'm a little nervous to touch some of the more expensive dolls)

 

I don't think you have to worry about being rude if you simply ask to hold someone else's doll, but I also don't think you should consider it rude if the owner in question says no either. As noted here some people are all for lettings others hold and play with their dolls while some might be a little more reserved for whatever reasons they have. Some of my dolls I have no problem letting others seen and touch so long as they ask politely first and I feel they are responsible/mature enough to understand the doll's worth, but some of my other boys I just feel have too delicate of parts (horns, jewelry, etc.) that I would prefer to handle alone. It's a personal thing and I wouldn't want to be considered rude because I like to take extra precautions with my expensive items.

 

I don't think it's rude at all to ask to hold someone's doll, as long as you phrase your question politely and avoid taking offense if the owner turns you down. As others in this thread have mentioned, some people don't mind letting interested parties hold their treasured dolls. :3

I think it would also help if you explained yourself a bit. I know that I react differently to a random request from a total stranger to hold my doll than to a request from a stranger who has talked to me about the doll first and explained that he has been trying to learn more about ball-jointed dolls. It's less scary to me to let someone handle my girl if they already know that she is expensive and requires a certain level of care, and who won't be surprised if I remind her to please not touch the face. If you're trying to get into the hobby, I think there are a lot of doll owners who would be happy to provide you with information and let you look at their doll.

 

Heh - I know I'm nervous about asking people if I could hold their doll. Even with my best friend I was like 'um....yeah....no. I don't want to risk it.' And will only pick them up very cautiously still (however after I got Chocolate, playing with Hakai [Jisatsu's] was no issue)

However I have a good friend that is similar to that. Where we work we see Dollfie books pass through the factory somewhat regularly (we produce photo books for Blurb) and have seen designers from Japan, America and Britain showing off their dolls in these books. He fell in love.

Now that I have a MSD I'm taking her to his party, and after verifying his hands are clean, will definitely let him hold her. He wants a few of his own (mainly tinies) and what better way for him to learn how to handle them than by handling my own?

 

I've had only good experiences with doll owners both before and after I've owned dolls. Every time I asked to hold a doll, the owners have been very kind and allowed me to hold their dolls, so I try to emulate that and allow anyone who asks the same opportunity. I really believe you don't get the same effect from just looking at a doll; I was afraid of breaking the doll by holding it too tightly the first time I held one, but the more dolls I was allowed to hold, the more comfortable I was in the end.

I think I'm also comfortable with letting others hold a doll of mine because I've always felt these dolls were meant to be played with. I think even if it was a limited, I'd share it with others because then they would get to see a rare doll firsthand and gain a firsthand glimpse of a doll they might not have otherwise seen.

And even if someone looked a little weird or dare I say acted a bit flaky, I don't think I'd deny them the chance to hold a doll because you just can't judge a book by it's cover. But I guess I am generally on the more laid-back and lenient side of things so my opinion on the subject is a reflection of my personality

 

I am rather lax about it, and if someone wants to hold my doll, providing they ask politely, then I have no problem with saying yes. I've even let children (with parents next to them) hold my dollinian tiny - and they handled them as gently as a porcelain figure without me even mentioning their cost - but nothing bigger and heavier than that. The first time I ever saw a doll was at a convention, but I was too chicken to go over to her and ask if I could give her pretty girl even just a looking at. For me, as long as you have clean hands, I know where they are and you don't go dabbing at their face then I'm fine. Though I have before had a puki disappear at a meet and turn up sitting out of the fly of a dollshe's trousers, I got an apology for that one though.

 

I'm totally fine with someone asking to hold/touch my dolls, I see it as we were all in the position of not having a doll in the first place and they are an expensive commitment so why wouldn't you want to have a look at one up close first?.
As long as you care careful and haven't got greasy/dirty hands, I don't see a problem with it

 

I've never asked, I'm sure if people want me to touch their doll they'd offer. I know some people are weird about dolls so Ijust don't make a fuss. I have my own holds to hold so it's fine.
I don't see the big deal at all.
Of course if someone offer their doll to me I'd of course hold it. I trust other doll people with my doll. They know what not to touch and how to be careful.
But no I don't think it's rude to ask, however I don't put my self in the situation of asking, dolls aren't weird but people are.

 

I think these dolls are like magnets. I've never seen anything else that induces such, uh... touchability... amongst perfect strangers.

I think it's nicer to try and engage in conversation before and/or after asking to hold a doll, however... I think it's a bit impersonal to simply waltz up to someone and ask to hold their doll, and then go swanning off again! There is a person behind the doll too!

 

There is nothing wrong with asking to handle someone's doll. My advice would be to find someone with a doll who looks nice and say something like, "That's a lovely doll...may I hold him/her for a moment?"

As others have said, just be sure your hands are free of anything that might stain the dolls or their clothes and of course you handle them carefully, which I am sure you will do anyway.

When I first got my doll, I handled her with kid gloves...really gently. I am still careful, and my friends are starting to trust me with handling their dolls as well, and they know it's good practise for me. If you mention you're into BJD and would enjoy some time with one, I don't think many aside from the really snobby ones would say no.

As to finding the right doll for you? Don't worry--something will click and you will know. That's what happened when I got my first doll.

Good luck!

 

This is pretty much how I feel.

You should never be afraid to ask, and I don't think it's rude at all. Picking it up without asking is rude, as you said, but asking is not! If someone doesn't want you to touch their doll they should politely say they'd prefer you didn't, there is no excuse for rudeness on either side, and I'd probably say some very... censored things if a doll owner was rude to me when I asked to touch their doll.

But saying that, I'm a very 'hands on' person, and if someone (anyone, even perfect strangers) is interested in my dolls I always offer them the doll to hold, but impress upon them they're very expensive and to be careful and not touch the face

If anyone's rude to you when you ask to touch their doll, just give them the finger - there's no reason anyone should be rude to you and if they are they're obviously just generally unpleasant people, who you're probably better off not knowing anyway They can always say "I'd rather you didn't, sorry" rather than being a dick about it. Most people who ask won't be offended if you say no (and if they are they're no better than the people who are rude when you ask!) so there's really no reason for it!

But like others have said, it's nice for people to talk to you a little first - I don't mind if someone wants to just talk about dolls to me or ask me about dolls and not myself, I don't like to make small talk much anyway, I'm not very good with people so it's quite nice to just talk about a subject I'm comfortable with

 

I think it isn't wrong asking to handle a doll. If the owner prefers you don't touch, he will tell you. And if you touch a doll, the important is handle with care.

 

I agree with what a lot of people have said- strike up a conversation first, get to know the owner, make certain the owner understands you're interested and at least somewhat knowledge able and ask nicely.

I know that, personally, I'm a LOT more reserved about handing over my dolls at anime convention meets than at 'regular' BJD meets. The crowd at anime conventions may or may not be familiar with BJD. And I've been to enough anime conventions, (both as a BJD owner and long time cosplayer), to know that, yes, many people at anime conventions can get VERY excitable and a little careless. If the person asking to hold my BJD at an anime convention doesn't have one of their own, I'm extremely careful about whether or not I let them handle him, (heck, for all I know that person may be the same one who just kicked a hole in the hotel wall or just went screaming through the hallway with a live blade in hand lol)

So...definately make sure to let them know you're interest in genuine and that you're clean, responsible, calm etc.

 

I dont think it's rude. Its more polite than just grabbing the doll like some people do in my opinion XD I'm going to Otakon too and i'll be at the doll meet ups. Mabye we'll bump into eachother. You can certainly hold my boy if you'd like

 

I love when people ask to hold my crew. I mean, I do have a few ground rules, such as not touching the face, and you're hands have to be clean. and if I don't know you that well, I prefer if you're sitting, and not out of my sight...but generally I'm pretty ok with people holding them. I have even (only with people I know really well mind you) walked away while my boys were being fondled. it's not rude at all to ask. It would be rude NOT to ask, and I think as long as you're polite about it, you should be fine.

I've met people who are a bit more protective than i am, it's true, there are some people who won't let you hold their resins even if you ask..but I can see where they're coming from, with the price they pay. But I buy my dolls to play with, not to just look at.

I'll be at Otakon this year. I don't know for certain which resins I'll be bringing, but I'll make sure I'm bringing someone along that you can play with (I have my dream doll on his way to me..and I dunno how protective I'll be over him...that is the one exception to my- ask and you can play rule). Just show up and shout "Zombchan" or "Liquid", I'll answer, and let you play.

 

I don't think this is rude at all. I know that I, myself, am sometimes a little bit touchy about my doll if the person is rough with him, or has never handled one before. Especially if they don't realize how rough they're being.
I don't think it's rude though, I agree that your hands should be clean, and that you should be careful.

I will be at Otakon myself, and may or may not have my doll with me! So, if I see you at some point, I would be glad to let you hold him! ^^

 

Ah, I don't think it's rude at all! If you're bringing a doll to a con, you should expect that people will ask to hold and touch them. You can say no, of course, but you shouldn't take it offensively.

My Puki Madeleine may be here in time for Otakon, and in that case, I'd be happy to let you hold her! ^-^ I'll be with tiernan hunter~!

 

The first time I went to a meet I didn't have my doll yet- I had never held one before, so I was very nervous about asking to hold people's dolls. So I would, very politely, ask them questions first about the mold or anything I had in mind (how big are they? are they heavy? etc etc) and then ask if I could touch or hold- no one ever told me no Just be polite and calm about it. Like others have said, striking up a conversation first is a good way for the owner to determine whether or not they can trust you to handle their doll. Sometimes an owner will even offer their doll to you if they see you are genuinely interested and have some dolly knowledge. But it does all depends.

I personally love to offer my dolls to people to hold, so long as they are careful and their hands are clean.

If someone ends up being rude when you ask to hold, don't let that discourage you. Just stay polite and move on to a different owner. Everyone will have their own answer to the question of "Can I touch?" but just know it is not rude to ask.

 

I don't think its rude at all. If someone approached me and seem interested in my boy and asked if they could him I would be flattered and really excited to explain and let them handle him. I think it depends a lot of how you approach the owner I think coming up and expressing an interest and even saying something like "Oh I have been thinking about getting **** doll" or "Oh is this a XXX" or if you are worried about miss identifying even saying "Oh what sculpt is this he/she is beautiful"

I also have to say going to a doll meet would be the best place to get your hands on several sculpts....going to a meet shows your interest and they are local people that you might have chatted with here on DoA so they know you aren't some random person just walking over...you are there with the express intention of seeing and maybe handling some dolls and getting to know other hobbyists in your area I think that would be the way to go!

 

Ok, this may sound extreme, but I have so much respect for the paint jobs these dolls recieve that, unless I've remembered my cotton gloves, I'm loathe to even ask to handle someone's dolls. I never tough the face, ever, and try not to touch the blushing everywhere else. If someone else is more off hand about their dolls, that's their business, but I don't want to booger up their dolls.

 

I love it when people ask to hold my kids. If they ask, it usually means they are aware of how expensive and fragile these little ones can be. I've never had an issue with people asking before holding. It seems to be the grabby ones that don't ask that cause the problems (and damage!).

 

For myself though. If someone asks to hold my doll, I would most likely have them seat with me(if I'm seated) and then pass them my doll to hold, or ask them to come with me to a less crowded place.

My SDs are heavy and my MSD is fragile. When in crowded areas, chances of someone bumping into us is high and when passing the doll over, I might have a good grip and the person might not. So when the bumping happens, said person might drop my doll.

I don't find it rude when someone ask to touch my dolls. Maybe you could try questions like, 'could I hold/carry him/her?' or 'may I touch you doll?'. Most of the times people would reply back with a polite yes or no. If they give a rude comment even though you had been polite, just smile sweetly and say 'ok' and walk off. Make them feel guilty for being rude when you're being polite...

But try not to be excited and squeal and say 'oh my god~ it's a -insert sculpt name- can I hold/carry him? Please~?' Chances of me(and others) saying no is 90%. I've had people squealing that at me...and I actually told the person, 'when you're calm enough, maybe I'll let you handle him for awhile...'

But I realised though...If you own at least 1 doll and asked to handle another doll owner's doll/s, 90% of the time it'll be a yes...

 

It might be strange to let someone who doesn't have a BJD hold one, since you can never be certain who will treat a doll well. I would be fine handing mine (when I get her) over to another owner who it is obvious takes good care of their dolls. But handing her over to a random stranger at a con? Never. They could touch her as long as I am still the one holding onto her. (Although if I spot grubby hands, all bets are off.)

I think that having someone ask to see/touch my doll would be a compliment, even if I tell them no.

 

I would want someone to ask before grabbing my dolls. Im still sorta iffy about letting someone hold any of mine. Im terrified someone is gonna try to make a run for it with Jareth.

 

I've had a couple friends ask me to hold mine. But they are older, I'd never let a kid handle her.

But I let them, giving them a warning about not touching the face and saying that she has a little weight to her. Just so they aren't surprised.

 

Hmm...I wouldn't mind letting other people hold my dolls, as long as they ask first & their hands are clean! It'll be horrible have scratches or marks on your girls & boys after 10 minutes with someone else!! Of course, it would only be fair to offer the same quality of care to other owners! Generally, that's the case for most everything else in life isn't it? You ask to borrow something instead of going around someone's house taking what you need & leaving a mess. It's common courtesy.

Despite that being said, I can understand how people who aren't familiar with BJD would just go out & touch them without asking. Just the casual passerby could hardly expected to be aware of their value or any sentimentality attached to the dolls. I'm sure in their eyes it's just another doll, a toy even. Mind you, the type of people I've in mind aren't the collector types whether into BJD, books, or such.
We're in somewhat of a protective bubble here as a community, we know their worth, and the amount of blood, sweat and tears each of us put into perfecting them. Treating our BJDs with great reverence, calling them our daughters and sons, spinning elaborate stories for them. We work hard to save our money so we can make our dream purchases, and hopefully don't view other collectors as idiots for "wasting" all their money one some flight of fancy.

Most if not all the owners here are respectful towards other's childrens, but I'm not daft enough to demand the same train of thought from people outside of our circle. The only places I'll be taking my kids to are places I've complete assurance of their well being. Sorry for the long winded post TL;DR people!

 

I have yet to be asked, by anyone, to hold one of my dolls. But I have only had them for a short tiime now. Now I'm starting to wonder how curious people get about them, and it's tempting me to take one out sometime. xD

I have a delf, and a kid delf right now, and yeah, the delf is a lot heavier than the MSD. I would be more tempted, if I had the choice to let a stranger, or someone new to dolls, to hold my MSD, over my SD. But either way, I would let them hold my doll. Though, I wouldn't want to put any of them in a situation were they would get dropped or broken. And I might be tempted to decline if the area is too crowded like Yukiya said.

I would love seeing other people interested in my dolls, and would be flattered if they asked to hold them. And I'd love telling people anything they wanted to know about them. Because they are fun, and a great hobby to get into. But I would feel very bad, and I'm sure the person that was holding her would feel pretty bad too, if they got damaged somehow.

 

I used to be more worried about that, when I was new to BJDs.

Now at meet-ups, we all don't care. Of course we're a small group and are calm. I don't mind people holding her, or messing with her hair, but I get really irked if they touch her face...

 

I'm new to all this but, I don't mind if:

A) You ask first
B) You got clean hands and are not sick with anything communicable
C) You refrain from touching the face-up
D) Also ask before removing any items (clothes etc.)
and
E) Do NOT under any circumstances commit rude acts with my dolls, Including placing any part of another doll and/or yourself another person, animal, statue or contrivance in "Sexual" contact real or imagined with my dolls and/or a facimile thereof.

 

I've been going to doll meets for about two years now, with mostly the same people all the time and I still ask if I can touch and pose their dolls XD It's just common courtesy.
I have a few dolls I'm a little laid back about and as long as I'm there I don't mind someone I know picking them up or posing them a little, but I do prefer if I were asked, especially from strangers.
I had a sour experience with grabbing, so unless I've been speaking with the stranger and they seem to understand I'll let them hold if they ask.

 

I practically shove my girl into other people's hands, especially those who seem interested in her. I love when people ask to hold her!

 

I agree with this. I don't mind if people touch my dolls, but I would be upset if they didn't ask first and did "rude" things with them.

 

All I'd ask is that the person is civil and open to experience. I've had a few friends who said "Wow, those dolls are FREAKY." and attempt to grab it - this is in fact one of my dollie pet peeves. If you don't like it, why would you want to touch it? Anyways, yeah, if someone expresses mild interest and is polite about asking to touch it, I usually concede.

Edit: Also agree with not doing rude things to my dolls. A lot of people I know turn a doll upside-down and flip up the doll's skirt "to see if it was wearing any underwear"... a huge no-no for me.

 

I wouldn't mind if someone asks, especially if they've talked to me for a moment and shown that they have some knowledge of the dolls. I have had a couple people go right for the face, though, and totally not get it when I was like "Don't touch the face don't touch the face DON'T TOUCH THE FACE!!!!!!!!!" One person tried to pick Crow up by his HEAD, and one was wanting to dangle Kale by his arm. Not cool. So I'm likely to give everyone the "he's heavy, and please don't touch the face." spiel. You should probably expect that and not roll your eyes at it, if the owner knows you don't yet have a doll, even if you've shown some knowledge of them. I tend to be slightly paranoid since they're expensive.

If you've posted on the meet-up thread and introduce yourself at the meet-up by mentioning a username I recognize, though, I'd probably offer one right up for you to hold. At the first (so far only) meet up I went to I had someone ask ahead of time for me to bring Crow because he's a Dolkot Day and there aren't tons of those around, so I offered him right up for anyone who showed interest. I also asked to hold a Puki at the meet and was thrilled to get a chance to check out the little guy for a moment, and someone else offered up their Shushu for me to hold since I was planning on ordering one, and that was awesome!

 

I'm one of those people that love having people touch and play with my dolls, as long as they're as gentle and ask. My girls are all personal, in their own way, but they're there to be enjoyed, and not just by me.

I will refuse anyone I don't beleive would handle them gently, children especially, as they seem to have a different definition of "gentle"