Negative Feedback Problem Transaction with Aeris76

Hello DoA community.


It pains me to do this(literally makes me sick) but this is my first problem transaction thread on Den of Angels.



Please click on the images of correspondence to read further. All personal information has been removed from the images. Thank you for your time.


Let me start off by saying that Aeris76 is a kind person who was (originally) very good with communication. Since we began our layaway in November she has made every layaway payment to me on time- though she did request reminders for her payment date. Everything was smooth until she finished her layaway… but let me not get ahead of myself…


My story began back on Oct 30, 2015 when I contacted Aeris76 about her "looking for DD Aoko" thread in the marketplace. She is very kind and interested so we moved forward with our communication and negotiating a final price. I was motivated to sell and she seemed sincerely interested in the doll and wanted to know more about layaway. On occasion she would be difficult to get in touch with and I was fine with it- people have health problems, computer problems, time zones… life problems. It happens to all of us from time to time.


Our conversation took place over weeks and we discussed prices and trades for a possible trade for a DD Kirika- everything was done amicably and I had no indication of anything other than good intent.


Then the terror attacks in Paris happened on 11/13/2015. It was an awful, awful time for many of us- especially those with family in that area of the world. I sent my condolences and we commiserated over how terrible it was. I asked if her family was safe, and thank goodness they were/are. It was a time in which we were all shaken and horrified for everyone… just everyone in the world. In the aftermath Aeris76 was having a very difficult time and sent the following message:


DoA Dispute 1 by NakitaN, on Flickr



DoA Dispute 2 by NakitaN, on Flickr


As a result we decided on a layaway situation for DD Aoko. The reasoning behind it was that once the layaway was paid off in three months that the customs situation should have improved enough to send the doll directly to her but if it didn’t she had a friend I could send the doll to as another possible option and the friend would send the doll to her at a time when she thought it was safe to receive it.

I sent her my layaway terms which she agreed to. I even asked what day each month is best to schedule the payment so she could get paid and make the payment on time. She asked for the reminders that I have mentioned above for her payments. I was fine with that and happy to do so. So the layaway passed and all is well until the final payment. This is where we, sadly & oddly, began to have problems.

Two days before the end of the layaway Aeris76 asked what it would cost to ship to her directly. She confirmed her home address with me. I sent her the estimated difference in USD ($16.35) which she agreed to pay should she desire the doll to be sent directly to her.

I sent her confirmation that I had received her final payment. I asked her to confirm the shipping address. I always ship within one or two days of layaway completion and, until recently, believed that is what would make buyers happy? I love receiving the feedback that I am a good, speedy shipper. What happened next has never happened to me: I couldn’t get a confirmation on the address where she would like the doll to be shipped?


DOA4 by NakitaN, on Flickr


DOA3 by NakitaN, on Flickr

I decided to give Aeris76 the benefit of the doubt because she has paid everything on time and is a really nice person. She made her final payments and I thanked her. In return I received this message:

DOA5 by NakitaN, on Flickr

I wasn’t sure what people she needed replies from to confirm her shipping address? She had three months of layaway to figure out where this doll needed to be sent so I was very confused as to why I still needed to hold the doll for her?

When I had not received a reply by 1/31, five days later, I began to worry. I mailed her letting her know I would not be able to hold the doll for her a week beyond her finished layaway date due to permanent travel that would interrupt my shipping schedule.

DOA6 by NakitaN, on Flickr


Still no reply.


On 2/3, a week later when the shipping deadline (2/5) was fast approaching I mailed her once again. I was concerned for her well being and needed an answer on where to ship her doll:

DOA7 by NakitaN, on Flickr

Unfortunately things do not get better at this point and Aeris76’s responses begin to vary:

DOA8 by NakitaN, on Flickr

So now we are waiting on “replies” from people and “things are bad”. The latter quotes I placed are not meant to trivialize Aeris76’s statement, I am sure they are bad, I just have no clue what that means in regards to our transaction? I’m becoming uncomfortable at this point because I really want to ship Aeris76 her doll and I don’t understand why I can’t ship to her?

DOA9 by NakitaN, on Flickr

I ask her as much and I explain I cannot continue to hold the doll for her for another week. I also explain that this deadline is very much final and I want -more than anything- to simply ship her her doll to her. I explain that if she refuses to have the doll shipped that I would be willing to provide her a partial refund. At this point in our communication I still have empathy for hard times and we are still very much attempting to work things out between us and not on the DoA Problem Transaction forum. Her response:

DOA10 by NakitaN, on Flickr

 

You can see this is the e-mail where I begin to have some doubt about what is happening. I know Aeris76 is waiting on replies from various people (?) and she does not want the doll shipped to her. I assumed (perhaps even incorrectly but it is forgivable, I think, given the circumstances) that she is selling the doll because there are money issues and will have me ship the doll to the person who is buying it? As a result in my next letter I am very clear that I cannot be a middleman for another transaction she is completing due to Paypal issues and liability.

DOA11 by NakitaN, on Flickr

It is now unclear what is going on with the doll and as a result I state I only want to ship it to her confirmed home address- something that was fine until a week ago. I had originally agreed to ship the doll to her proxy because she was very stressed about Belgium customs & the Paris attacks affecting her doll’s arrival. Now I am not certain what is happening or who I am supposed to be shipping the doll to? I ask her again to let me please ship the doll to her address on her Paypal account. I just want her to have the doll that she has paid for.

The letter I receive back is very long and confusing but she’s clearly really worried about shipping in general for all items, and…. well, there’s just a lot to it so you can read it for yourself:


DOA12 PART 1 by NakitaN, on Flickr


DOA12 PART 2 by NakitaN, on Flickr


“The person in Texas is a friend who could receive the doll for me. Basically I do that to avoid the customs fees here and it is more convenient for US sellers. She is not a buyer, not a seller, not a proxy.”


If a person is receiving the doll for you, on your behalf, then (to my understanding) that is what a proxy is? I don't think a proxy is a dirty work or something bad- it's someone who is receiving your item for you. Furthermore Aeris76 would still have to receive the doll from her as a shipped item. Up until this point I have agreed to under declare the doll, mark her as a gift, anything to help her reduce cost, etc to get it to Aeris76 in her home country. How is receiving the doll via USPS from this other person in the USA any different than receiving her from me if I underdeclare, etc?

From what I can understand she doesn’t want the doll shipped to her because her customs are still very bad and she is very afraid of dealing with them but she received a package the other day so clearly she is still having things sent to her despite that fact? I assume people in Belgium have to receive packages from other parts of the world all the time? She agrees with me on the layaway terms being nonrefundable and asks for more details about a refund I mentioned since she wasn’t expecting that would be possible. (?)

She then adds that her friend has been in touch with her and has agreed to let the doll be shipped to her original address she asked me about way back at the beginning of the layaway.

What a relief! She wants the doll and I (assume) will not be shipping to a middleman or being a middleman for some other transaction that has the potential to go sideways. I was extremely relieved, thrilled even, to ship the doll to one of the two addresses we had discusses prior to all the issues we’ve been having over the last week. I responded that I would help her and I would ship her the very next day to the TX address. I also made it very clear than once the doll arrived with insurance and tracking that my part in this transaction would be over. I ask her to confirm this via PM before I mail the doll to her friend. I also point out:

“I do expect to ship someone's item to them after the layaway is finished. You had three months to figure out your shipping situation and I am not responsible for holding your items for an extended amount of time past the end payment date. I don't agree about holding anyone's paid for layaway items for an extended amount of time after the layaway is finished. I understand we can agree to disagree and I hold no grudge against you whatsoever.”

and added…

“I would have absolutely refunded your money (over time/minus fee) if you couldn't have her shipped to you or if we had decided to end this transaction. We would have had to agree on the refund plan and the amount of the fee so it would be fair for both of us- that's how I would have proceeded.”


DOA13 by NakitaN, on Flickr


I wished her much better health and that things would look up for her very soon. Even though the discussion about shipping has been prolonged and painful Aeris76 is still a nice person and I do believe she is under stress. I wanted to reach a happier conclusion and for us both to walk away from this relatively unscathed. It has also been extremely stressful to be going through my own handful of life events and dealing with this transaction but I never let that get in the way of my marketplace obligations on DoA.

 

This is what I received back:


DOA14 by NakitaN, on Flickr


She asks me again about the refund and it basically goes downhill from there.


She states that her friend does not want Aoko as she already has her? So was I shipping this doll to someone who was purchasing it from her and now is no longer interested? This is beyond confusing. In addition because of our communication ( i.e. my request for a finalized shipping address a week after her layaway had been completed) Aeris76 says she will not be able to bond with the doll and will likely have to resell it.


???


If Aeris76 wants to sell the doll after receiving it, that’s totally fine. What someone does after they receive a doll is none of my business but the issue here is trust to complete this transaction. There’s a lot of trust involved in transactions on DoA that require honest and open communication and if you misplace that trust it can really cost a person dearly emotionally and financially.


Since her last mail I sent one more asking, “If I am understanding correctly you no longer wish to receive the doll, correct?”


To which she replied:


DOA15 by NakitaN, on Flickr


You can also see my response because I have so much going on in my life and I needed to gather myself and decide what to do next.


Since my last reply Aeris76 has sent me 3 very kind messages confirming that she now wishes not for a refund but to have the doll sent once again to TX. She has been lovely again but her communication is erratic in frequency and tone and gives me concern for successful completion of our transaction. She says specifically she will not file a Paypal claim should I ship to her contact and the doll arrives in good condition.

Unfortunately I feel Aeris76 has demonstrated through her inconsistency in her reactions over the last two days that I, personally, cannot be comfortable to trust her to not to file a Paypal claim should the goods arrive at any other location than the address on her Paypal account. Her unwillingness to accept the doll at her home address due to customs issues, her statement that her friend was a (maybe?) intended recipient but does not want the doll as she has her own (???), yesterday she very much wanted the doll, today there is the development of her inability to bond with the doll and the request for a refund, and finally hours later she would like me to send the doll to her friend in the US again... it does not, unfortunately, give me confidence this transaction will end well.

…all this because I asked for a shipping address once her layaway was finished and to ship the doll within a week of her transaction being completed.


******


Aeris76, I’m doing my best to reach a resolution with you but I no longer feel as though we can reach one via PM. I’ve tired time and time again to accommodate you with shipping terms, layaway and holding the doll for you for additional days while you decided where you wanted her to be sent. When we both realized that things were going amiss between us with our communication we both wanted to keep it between us and work towards a solution together instead of starting a problem transaction thread. I apologize for opening this thread, Aeris76, but I can’t be certain about finding a good solution for either of us via personal communication any longer.

I was willing to work with you even today to find terms that would be best for you and even so you stated you did not want the doll and wanted to know about a refund… then you wanted the doll again. I can't trust that you will not have another change of heart, causing unexpected repercussions during the conclusion of this transaction. I have come to the table with two solutions. I hope you will be able to find one or the other satisfactory:

Because Aeris76 has completed her layaway with me and made her payments on time I am happy to mail her the doll she has paid for at her home address (she has confirmed this to be her home) on her Paypal account. She only needs to Paypal me the USD$16.35 in shipping difference and I will ship her as soon as I receive that payment. I also must stipulate that I will send her with fully declared with tracking, and insurance (the latter postal services I will personally pay for with no additional cost to Aeris76)because I need to know she will not be damaged during shipment and there will be no further issue with damage claims.


-or-


Our agreement was that all layaway payments were strictly nonrefundable, however, I am willing to compromise. If she does not want the doll (as she has recently stated) she can have her final layaway payment refunded back to her immediately (USD $171.70 + $170.30 = $342.00). I will also refund an additional USD ($164.00) on the 16th of February for a total of USD $506.00.


My terms are not negotiable. Please let me know which one option you prefer so we can finally complete our transaction.

 

I'm sorry you are upset Aeris76. I too hate that this transaction has gone this way- I sincerely wish for all of my transactions to end well and I work hard to make that happen.

I took a lot of time in the original 3 posts outlining why I no longer feel comfortable shipping to another, unlisted address and am requiring shipping to the address you confirmed with me as your shipping address (your home address/the one you requested a shipping quote to only a week ago because you wished the doll to be shipped there). It is also the the address I am obligated to ship to by Paypal. I was doing you a favor by making an exception in the shipping address, under declaring, marking as a gift, etc because I trusted you.

The time for trust is done and unfortunately your erratic behavior at the final stages of this sale has brought us to this point.

This is now about me, as a seller, needing to ship you the item you purchased safely. This is not about me, as a seller, waiting until some unspecified time after your layaway has ended for you to decide whether you want the doll or not so I can ship it to another friend who will sell it for you. I'm sorry I cannot accommodate you further but I have become uncomfortable with the situation.

The choices still stand. My terms are not negotiable. Please let me know which one option you prefer so we can finally complete our transaction.

I did receive your other PMs but I would appreciate it if we could please reach a resolution on this thread.

Thank you for your time and I hope we can reach a resolution soon so we can both feel better and put this situation behind us.

 

My above post still applies to the majority of your last response. I took a good amount of time writing and detailing about your erratic behavior and the issue of trust between buyer and seller. Please refer to my original posts if you have additional questions.

The amount of the refund is USD $506.00 more than what you are entitled to as per our layaway terms- which entailed clearly that all payments are nonrefundable. Even though this transaction has been difficult, I am still trying to work with you and compromise to return a significant amount of money to you.

I am also willing to ship this doll immediately to your home address: an address you approved of, agreed to and asked for a quote just over a week ago. The extra measures of insurance and tracking are to insure there are no additional financial claims that need to be addressed once the doll arrives. I have agreed to pay for them out of my pocket. At this point in our transaction I believe shipping without the additional services would be unwise.

Given everything I have been through in the last week and a half I believe these choices are more than fair. Heck, at this point even having a choice is, hopefully, demonstrating to those reading this that I am willing to do everything I can to fulfill our layaway -short of put myself in what I now believe would be a very bad position.

The choices still stand. My terms are not negotiable. Please let me know which one option you prefer so we can finally complete our transaction.

Thank you for your time and I hope we can reach a resolution soon so we can both feel better and put this situation behind us.

 

Hello again Aeris76-

Thank you for taking the time to write an explanation of your side of this transaction. Most of your reasoning is familiar to me as you’ve written about it previously in PMs but I appreciate you honoring full disclosure here and telling your side.

You’ve stated in your PM that you friend will be receiving and selling the doll for you. That does make me the third party in a transaction between you and your friend. I am not comfortable with that being the situation moving forward. The following PM is one that was sent after this thread was opened on the Problem Transaction Forum. As I have said before I do not mind what you choose to do with your doll after you receive it but I cannot, due to Paypal terms, liability reasons and the ongoing nature/escalation of this transaction ship to an address that is not your home address.

DOA16 by NakitaN, on Flickr

Please refer to my original post and earlier responses as to why I no longer feel comfortable shipping to a third party. My earlier posts also cover the refund conversation, the ongoing request for a shipping address and your request for a refund. Finally I believe the PMs shown exhibit the clarity of the conversations between you and I.

Unfortunately your erratic behavior at the final stages of this sale has brought us to this point. As a result of our communications I am no longer comfortable acquiescing to where you want your doll sent or how you want her declared if it costs me my Paypal Seller Protection.

You are not the only person this transaction has effected: it has also been extremely stressful and unhappy for me. I am out time, energy and sanity trying to work with you to successfully complete this layaway. I did not open this thread in order to bargain or hold you hostage, I opened it because I am giving you a choice and I need a response to finally end this transaction so we can both move forward. I apologize for being firm but I done attempting to compromise on conditions and potentially place myself in a bad position.

What someone does after they receive a doll is none of my business but the issue here is trust to complete this transaction between you and I. There’s a lot of trust involved in transactions on DoA that require honest and open communication and if you misplace that trust it can really cost a person dearly emotionally and financially. As a result I am giving you what I believe are reasonable options- for both of us. The terms of shipping the doll to you immediately or offering a partial refund are not, to me, "horrible". I am truly sorry if you find my efforts unsatisfactory.

If you want to contact Paypal and ask them if there is any possible way to change the shipping address you certainly may. The real issue here is about my Seller Protection. To my knowledge there no way for me to maintain my Seller Protection and be able to ship to an address that is not the address of the person who has paid me via Paypal.

I would prefer all correspondence to take place on this thread instead of PMs. Thank you for your understanding.

Ultimately, again, the choices are as follows:

*****

Because Aeris76 has completed her layaway with me and made her payments on time I am happy to mail her the doll she has paid for at her home address (she has confirmed this to be her home) on her Paypal account. She only needs to Paypal me the USD$16.35 in shipping difference and I will ship her as soon as I receive that payment. I also must stipulate that I will send her with fully declared with tracking, and insurance (the latter postal services I will personally pay for with no additional cost to Aeris76) because I need to know she will not be damaged during shipment and there will be no further issue with damage claims.

-or-

Our agreement was that all layaway payments were strictly nonrefundable, however, I am willing to compromise. If she does not want the doll (as she has recently stated) she can have her final layaway payment refunded back to her immediately (USD $171.70 + $170.30 = $342.00). I will also refund an additional USD ($164.00) on the 16th of February for a total of USD $506.00.



My terms are not negotiable. Please let me know which one option you prefer so we can finally complete our transaction.

 

It has been 24 hours since I opened this thread on the Problem Transaction Forum. During this time period I have repeatedly and clearly stated options and asked for Aeris76 to decide how she wishes to finish our layaway transaction.

I have no desire to waste anyone’s time on this forum any further: not mine, not Aeris76 who clearly will not make a decision within terms that are mutually acceptable to both parties, not the moderators who have an endless amount of other threads to attend to, nor the general community who I am certain have more positive things to do than read an seemingly circular, endless thread of arguing.

Aeris76 has insisted three times that I should ship the doll to an unknown, third party, something I have made exceedingly clear I am not comfortable with and will not do. At this point in time I do not believe Aeris76 will agree to make a decision and so in the interest of ending this dispute in a timely manner I will act.

I have decided I will proceed immediately with issuing Aeris76 a refund as stated below:

Our agreement was that all layaway payments were strictly nonrefundable, however, I am willing to compromise. If she does not want the doll (as she has recently stated) she can have her final layaway payment refunded back to her immediately (USD $171.70 + $170.30 = $342.00). I will also refund an additional USD ($164.00) on the 16th of February for a total of USD $506.00.

When the final refund payment of USD $164 is successfully issued on the 16th of February I will consider the matter closed and our transaction finished. I will update this thread with the refund information accordingly.

*****

It is unfortunate, unpleasant and ultimately not the way any transaction should end for two people who adore this hobby. I am now willing to take “my lumps” (so to speak) as far as feedback is concerned and move forward. I am hoping with all of my heart if someone is considering doing business with me that they will take into account the entirety of what has transpired within this Problem Transaction Thread. Hopefully you will see me for who I am: a seller who has repeatedly attempted to please their buyer and when that was no longer possible, I tried to do my best to resolve an exceedingly difficult situation with fairness, civility and reason.

It is my greatest hope that this blemish on my record will not dissuade the community I adore from interacting with me on the forums in any fashion.

I sincerely thank you for reading this thread and good night.

 

Update:

As of Feb 5, 2016 22:19:19 PST the initial refund of USD $342.00 has cleared from my account to Aeris76 via Paypal.

As stated above I will also refund an additional USD ($164.00) on the 16th of February for a total of USD $506.00.

I will continue to update this thread accordingly with the refund progress.

Thank you very much~

 

Update 2:

As stated I have issued a final refund of USD $164.00 today (early) for a total refund to Aeris76 of USD $506.00.

As it stands I consider this transaction resolved on my behalf. I do not have any additional content to address as I believe the posts/PMs appropriately surmise the situation, why I brought this transaction to the Problem Transaction Forum and, finally, why I had to be firm in my final decision.

*****

Now onto the issue of feedback:

I would kindly ask the mods to lock this thread whenever they deem it appropriate and to please mark this transaction as negative feedback.

Normally I would avoid marking for negative feedback at all costs. I feel I have worked tirelessly towards that goal throughout this transaction but am, unfortunately, given little choice in this particular situation.

Ultimately as a seller, I would not choose to do business with Aeris76 again and I could not recommend her to someone else conducting a sale.

Aeris76 is very kind and personable in her PMs, however, when it comes down to business communication, consistency and logistics her actions in the final stages of this transaction were very disappointing. She lacked empathy for my situation as a seller and continued to expect to be accommodated beyond reasonable terms no matter how erratic her own behavior became. Sadly the only consistent behavior Aeris76 has shown has been in her arguments on this thread: she has three times over refused to agree to mutually acceptable and safe shipping terms for both buyer/seller and has insisted in her posts that the doll be shipped to an unknown third party for immediate resale purposes. Aeris76's refusal to listen and understand my position are why, regrettably, I feel compelled to mark the entire transaction as a negative experience.

I apologize again for opening this thread, Aeris76. It was the last thing I wanted to do and writing this whole thing has been an unhappy, stressful and completely exhausting experience. I, however, am extremely relieved this transaction is over. Despite both of us having this negative transaction on our record, I do hope you feel better and find happiness in the BJD hobby in the future. I still wish you the best and, if not the best, then something at the very least that is much better.