Parenthood and Hobbies/ How do you navigate?

Hi there! For starters, there is some insight (and some other DoA folks with the same conundrum to solve) to be found in this here thread: how-to-combine-bjd-hobby-and-parental-life

And also: congrats, my dear!

 

I’d say it depends on how clingy your baby is. And if you still work or stay home.

I stay home so it’s easier for me to find little windows of time to work on hobbies. Some aren’t so difficult, like knitting which is fairly portable, especially doll scale knitting cuz everything is small. Sewing isn’t as easy to squeeze in but I just do projects in spurts. I have a good husband, and he takes over has the primary parent sometimes just so I have a few hours/half day to myself for hobbies.

But that’s presently, I pretty much put all my hobbies on hold for a while. My first son was a very clingy baby, he wouldn’t tolerate being laid down, or being held long by anyone else Not until he was sitting upright by himself and able to explore a bit. Maybe about 5 months? Then I could slowly work on sewing projects with him hanging out next to me. But once her was able to get into drawers I had to wait for my husband to be off work to really do anything sewing or faceup related.

When my second son was born it started the whole thing over again They are 3 and almost 2 now. Generally, I can do a lot of knitting while they play with each other, and I can do faceups and sewing when my husband is home. I just have to break up projects into smaller sections and be okay knowing I’ll finish them when I can.

I know the chances aren’t as likely that my boys will share my interest in dolls or fashion, but they do like to look at them and hug them.

 

I am not a parent, but my mom managed to have two kids and keep her hobbies, so maybe her method could be helpful? It's very similar to how @lully.lullers does it.

My mom was a stay at home mom, and I'm sure that makes things easier. With newborns, it's hard. With toddlers and older, it's much easier. Some of her hobbies were reading, sewing, crafting and drawing, so she involved us in all of it. For drawing, she'd be doing blueprinting and give us fingerpaint, crayons or pencils. Sometimes she'd draw things for us to color. She still has "books" I made when I was around 3! (More like random drawings stapled together. Though a few do have a very basic story told in pictures only.) For reading, she'd read to us, or read more adult books (she loved Stephen King) and tell us the story in summarized and more child friendly way. Or she'd have "quiet reading time" and read her books and we'd look at ours. We'd go to the library and pick out books, and she'd send us to Story Hour or summer reading programs and use that time to do her own reading or talk with other adults at the library. For sewing, she'd do her projects, but also sew for us. Dresses for us, clothes for dolls, stuffed animals, etc. She started teaching me to sew when I was 5. She would take us to sewing shops and let us pick out the pattern and fabric we'd want for our birthday and holiday dresses and Halloween costumes. With crafting, we did all kinds of things! Sometimes, it was a group craft, sometimes she'd work on more advanced things while we played with Play-doh, silly putty, construction paper or other kiddie stuff. She helped us make shoebox dioramas, little sculptures, mobiles, and more. She liked cooking and baking, so we'd help out or find new recipes that looked interesting. Sometimes she'd do her hobby and tell us to go play and not bother her unless we needed something. Not negligent at all, just teaching us independence and to learn to entertain ourselves. She never really talked to us like babies, she talked to us as people from a very early age and started teaching safety and discipline young, too, so I was usually ok playing in a room without her for short times by around 3-4. I'll give her some credit for my doll and roleplay hobbies, since she encouraged us to be creative and find ways to not be bored! And on days she just *really* needed some time for herself, she'd leave us with dad or grandparents and take a break. Dad worked long hours, but he was usually home in the evenings, and grandparents were always wanting us!

I think you can definitely still work in your hobbies with kids, it's just going to take some time to figure out what works and fits your lifestyle and your child's personality and needs. I also think it's really important to take time for your hobbies and not lose yourself. The kids do need to take priority, but it's hard to be a good parent when you can't have moments for yourself and be your own person. It's also really good for kids who are old enough to learn independence and personal space. And a big bonus if they can join you in your hobbies in some way, even if it's not doing the it the same way as you!

 

This is a stay-at-home parent. My daughter broke the majority of my porcelain dolls when she was little. She is Toy Story's Sid. She will smash things in order to combine them with another toy. She can now distinguish between my belongings and her own, and she can reassemble anything she wants from her own toys, but she doesn't touch my dolls or other items.

When your baby is a toddler, I do advise keeping a watch on them around your dolls. My kids leave dolls alone because they don't like them. However, my daughter was a pretty mischievous youngster. Where some kids like my son was more calm and quiet.

The wonderful thing about the BJD hobby is that it allows you to put everything you're doing on hold in order to care for your children. Stop dressing that doll, put down the camera, and move away from the sewing machine. Whatever it is, juggling this pastime with children is simple. With this hobby, you may put down what you're working on, take a break, or even put it on hold for a set period of time.

 

Yes! This is a large part of why my main hobbies are BJDs/miniatures now, as a parent. I was always a dollhouse miniatures lover but I'm new to enjoying dolls at all. I am an obsessive, lifelong hobbyist - but I had to give up or massively scaled back the things that previously took up a lot of my time and space (when I got pregnant with my first [unexpectedly after years of infertility] I had 3 dogs, a planted aquarium, 30+ chickens outside I was breeding, and a tropical plant collection that filled an entire room and required spreadsheets and grow lamps...)

In my specific situation, I've had to conpletely pause my active hobby activity like completing projects for long periods with young children. I spend a lot of time solo parenting due to my husbands work, and my kids aren't sound sleepers, so I have very little free time even in the evenings. However its just a phase and by the time the younger is 2-3 I expect I'll have a lot more time for myself. And I have never as a parent been 100% focused on my children - I always make time for reading, for trying to keep myself intellectually engaged, and if I can't actively do projects I am at least researching and planning them.

 

My kids are 4 and 2 now, and I agree with a lot of the sentiment above. Even if you choose to stay home, that first year and a half or so is very baby-focused that it can be difficult to make time for hobbies. If you have more than one, this is exacerbated by having to juggle the kids' competing needs. There are pockets of time in those early months where you can enjoy your hobbies, but it very much has to be centered on things that can be picked up and put down easily. In my case, my dolls fell largely by the wayside in favor of reading or crochet, as my first was an atrociously unreliable sleeper.

Around 2-3 years old is when the fog fully lifts and you'll find yourself with more time on your hands again. That's about the age that kids begin to independently play for longer periods of time, so you'll have more time in a day to get things done and make room for leisure. My daughter is at the age now where she shows interest in my hobbies, so I include her in ways that are safe and age-appropriate. We both like art, for example, so we draw and paint outside together when the weather is nice.

While some people struggle with feeling guilty about not playing with their dolls and going through periods of dormancy, I believe the purpose of hobbies is to bring us joy. If having dolls in your closet waiting for you to come back brings you joy, there's no shame in stepping away when life requires you to. I've found that my dormant period has been very good for my doll hobby, actually, as it has allowed me the space to think deeply about my characters and goals without the desire to buy hanging over my head! Returning to it now is seeing my hobby with fresh eyes.