Dialogue I'll Believe In Anything [MD Leroi Snow, IH LB Isar, DZ Tan Shoyo]

Today's Episode: I'll Believe In Anything
(spoilers for s1e5 of Heated Rivalry, if you care)


Kami: You got the snacks, babe?
Alec: You know it. Rin stocked up on chips, this giant bag of Limón Lays is all for us.


Kami: Woohoo! Time for hockey butts!


Kitty: Hey, guys, what are we watching?


Kami: Hockey butts!
Kitty: Oh, I like hockey! Not too sure about the butts though.
Alec: We are watching the new episode of Heated Rivalry. You are doing something else.


Kitty: What? Why can't I watch it with you guys?
Alec: You are fifteen. This is a show for grown-ups.
Kitty: I'm plenty grown-up! I'm an honorary agent now, Baz said!


Kami: Let me put it this way...kid, are you equipped to handle the mental burden of watching smutty scenes sitting next to people who are basically your parents?


Kitty: ...[dial-up noises]


Kitty: ...aight. I'm out. Have fun, guys.


Alec: ...well-played.
Kami: There is nothing more awkward than watching a movie with your parents and a sex scene comes on, and this show is basically sex scenes with plot sprinkled in. Not that I mind.


Alec: No surprise that you're better at this parenting thing than I am.
Kami: Psh. When you're the middle sister you get a lot of practice in. Now let's get this hockey show on the road.

 

[one hour later]


Kami: There was nary a butt to be seen this week! That hospital scene really made me think of Ace Attorney, though. Ohhhh my Godddd, the last episode of the season airs on Christmas, I can't handle it. We're gonna have to sneak away from the festivities to watch since I don't think we'll be allowed to put it on the big TV.


Kami: I mean, I'm not opposed to seeing cute butts in IMAX, but I'm pretty sure Mads' parents wouldn't be up for that. And it would be the whole 'watching smut with people who are basically your parents' thing for Rin. Which would be kind of funny, considering earlier. Maybe we can watch Wake Up Dead Man again. Do a Benoit Blanc marathon and then annoy everyone around us by poorly mimicking his accent for the rest of the day.


Kami: Alec? You've kind of been frozen for 20 minutes.


Alec: Ilya's monologue...all in Russian...I gotta hand it to Storrie, for a kid from West Texas his accent is basically flawless.
Kami: Okay, but that's not all of it, right?


Alec: No. I mean...no. It's not.


Alec: The whole parenting thing from earlier. And the funeral in the show. And all the Russian. Just made me think about my parents a lot, is all.
Kami: Ohh. I'm sorry.


Alec: Don't be. As the poet said, "that was in another country..."
Kami: "...and besides, the wench is dead," isn't that how that ends?
Alec: ...yeah.


Kami: Well, you know I don't speak Russian or Ukrainian, so do you want to pull an Ilya and get it off your chest in a language I don't speak?
Alec: ...no. Thanks, though. You're the best, babe.
Kami: I know.


Alec: Feels kind of stupid to say I wish we had Baz here. Guy practically raised me after that.
Kami: He'll show up, eventually. Probably not before Rowan, though.
Alec: Oh, gods, no. I'll fling myself down the stairs.


Kami: No you won't. And even if you did you know they'd just patch you up again like a science experiment.
Alec: [groan]


Kami: I get it. The holidays are tough when you're missing family. But hey - you've got me, and Kitty, and LoTUS, and the rest of the - and I say this with all possible affection - freaks around here. We can do a little Yule party all for ourselves. Pretty sure Miles at least would be a great third if we play Kings.
Alec: Yeah, I get the feeling he'd be into it. Mariner, too. We can probably get a whole gang together to get unwisely drunk to avoid thinking about friends and family members who aren't here.
Kami: That's the holiday spirit for ya!


Alec: ...hold on. I haven't heard any chaos in the past hour. ...what's Callahan up to?

 

[one hour earlier...]


Kitty: Hmph. I am so old enough.


Kitty: "Heated...Rivalry...episode...one..."


Kitty: ...


Kitty: WHOA, THEY WERE NOT KIDDING ABOUT THE BUTTS. HOLY MOTHER.

 

She's a smart cookie! Alec's into women who are smarter than him. He's no slouch, but Kami's the one with the PhD!