Have you ever wanted a Penpal?

I have trouble making friends as well. I have zero irl friends who are into dolls and I’m a bit too anxious to go to doll meets. I’ll be happy to chat about dolls and doll stories any time though!

 

I have some online dolly friends that I roleplay with. We actually met on IG and I was invited to their pre-existing roleplay group. I sort of just shoved my characters into their world. The ones that couldn't fit still found their way over by way of alternate realities. With that same friend group we regularly send each other bjd related gifts. Or one friend might buy something from the other friend and other things are thrown in the box along with it. We're all US based but all live in different states. The closest two are still around 9 hours apart. We even dragged in someone for purely roleplay who is now starting out in the bjd hobby by shelling one of their characters.

BJD can be an incredibly social hobby if you find the right groups.

Feel free to dolly talk me any time through PMS.

 

Back in ye olden days, DoA had a tag for Penpal posts- BJD roleplayers would send each other mail in character, and post their dolls' reactions by photostory. There used to be a thread for finding penpals/roleplay partners in the Games section. But I guess they decided it cluttered things, because they no longer allow roleplaying on the forum itself.

Obviously half the fun of having a 'BJD' penpal is geeking over your partner's stories. Their dolls. How everything progresses and fits together. I miss this part of the forum- alas, I got here too late to get into it.

Someone ran a penpal swap in the MP a while back- your doll wrote a letter to the partner, they wrote back, and each exchanged a second letter with some small gifts. It was great, but unfortunately, I fell ill right after it kicked off. My druid's return letter was a month late to his demon king partner, and I never heard back for round II. But that swap is one of the most fun things I've ever done in the online portion of the hobby, and I still keep the letter we received in the same cabinet where my favorite dolls are stored.

There was a BJD roleplaying/storytelling Discord. It's mostly dead. There's no one place where people gather consistently to trade stories, it seems.

Personally, I am down to hear about characters and stories anytime. My BJDs are a hodge-podge of different adventures. I take pleasure in the sheer creativity other hobbyists display.

 

I feel exactly the same.
I used to talk daily or weekly to a couple of online hobbyists but that was years ago but I lost contact and I even had a real penpal I used to write and send letters to but she also dissapeared one day without any explanation... that wasn't nice.
The lack of someone I can share my dolly-related findings (and ocasional dolly-related crisis xD) has made me more of an introvert owner and now I rearely share anything online.

 

I’d love people to chat to about stories etc! I’m a bit shy & awkward IRL so it’s hard. My local meet-up group are nice, but I don’t wanna harass people.

Also, my dolls & stories aren’t really in the very popular styles so that gets me left out a little. I’d love to meet people who can be enthusiastic about similar things! And yes, you can PM people.

 

I’ve done quite a bit of penpalling, but never dolly related. Sounds like it could be fun though. My dolls aren’t really characters in a story, but they do have personalities and it would be nice to further explore them through something like writing. Or to simply write about dolls to someone who likes them too. Most of my dolls are off topic and that is really holding me back here (^^’)

A fun thing to do with a group would be a traveling notebook. Someone starts with a notebook and fills a spread (or more) and then sends it on to the next person. That person fills a few pages and again sends it on. That way you work together to make a story / artwork / place to gush about what you like.

Anyway, feel free to message me if you want to talk or write dolly stuff

 

I stopped going to doll meets in my area because the people were kinda toxic, so it left me with just one irl friend in the hobby, but nowadays she's less into BJD's and more into DDs. Also, we are both quite busy and we don't talk about our dolls that much anymore. I talk with other friends about my dolls, but they don't know much about this type of doll, so it's different I guess.

I tried talking to people online, but I'm pretty forgetful and shy, and if they don't keep in contact with me, I get shy about contacting them again after months. It sounds ridiculous, but I feel I might be bothering them

I don't mind if someone wants to hit me up

 

There's an app called Slowly that is a penpal letter app! You match with people with similar interests and send a letter on the app, and it takes the same amount of time to send/receive letters that it would if you were actually sending physical ones. It's a very cute app!

I'm thinking about setting up an irl penpal program for my doll discord soon too

 

I havent had a penpal in a long time. I used to go to a local doll meet, but that has kind of faded off, and i don't really have the time to go to an irl meet up right now anyways...I miss talking about dolls with people. It's beem so long I'm afraid in would just clam up!

 

I don't really have any doll friends anymore. My one irl friend who was into dolls sort of "grew out of it". I'm a little awkward, especially with new people but I'm open to anyone who wants to chat!

 

My characters don’t really have stories, just personalities, but I also don’t have any friends into dolls either. Or many friends at all xD my friend who I talk to most is an online-only friend and I’ve told her about my dolls but only a little. I am afraid to bother her with my “omg look at this doll” kind of things I’d like to say so I’m trying to hold back xD I get really excited finding sculpts, clothes and photos and planning my dolls. It’d be cool to share that with someone but I’m the type of person who’s always afraid of bothering other people. I love looking at people’s doll families and wishlists though. The bjd forum for people in my country died and I don’t know where people from it went. I only had one friend there though.

 

I have always wanted a pen pal but I’ve never really gotten anywhere with it and I am still pretty new to the bjd world so don’t know all that much about it beyond what my admittedly limited knowledge

 

I'd love to have a penpal with the same interests that I am interested in. I have had a few snail mail pen pals but always felt like they didn't last long and just fizzled out. When I think of a dolly penpal I think of someone bonding with you, and bonding over dolls, not just roleplaying with the doll characters. If I got to know someone well enough, I would love to send little gifts, whether bought or handmade to each other. Would be even better if they were in a different country because I love hearing about other cultures!
There aren't any meets near me that I have ever seen. Probably the closest would be 3 hours away, and in the long run, it's not that far, but I wouldn't be able to go very often. Would have to juggle my kids and school and work and whatnot.
So if anyone is interested in pen-palling it, I would love to start one!

 

I do Postcrossing which fulfills my some of my pen pal needs. You can do direct swaps with someone or you can just do the traditional anonymous postcard route. You can specify on your profile page that maybe you want to do something specifically BJD related and that could help. Pretty much, you send 5 postcards to 5 random people around the world and then you get postcards back from other random people in the world. If you don't feel comfortable using your home address, simply use a P.O. Box. There's no pressure to continue it and it's free.

There's also the Fountain Pen Network. Obviously, it helps if you are a fountain pen user, but there seems to be a good amount of people that use fountain pens that are the creative/artsy type that would fit into the anime/manga/gamer/BJD world. They also have a pen pal section there for you to try.

When in doubt, see if you could post a thread/photo story that ends on a cliff hanger or is "To be continued..." but only can be continued via snail mail. That way, people that are truly interested in the rest of the story will get it directly from you and maybe might send stories back to you. Never know until you give it a try!

Something I did with some of my best friends was that I started a story in a slim paper book (like one of those Japanese or Korean notebooks) and I mailed it to the next person to continue the story. It works well for those that are writers but usually stops (and is never returned) by the ones that are not writers. Eventually, you ask for it back and it's fun to see how each person continues the story. We tried the same thing via group email and it was fun while it lasted.

Oh! Have you tried FutureLearn or MasterClass? It's one of those pick and choose online courses type of academic site. They have a Start Writing Fiction course on FutureLearn and on MasterClass there are different authors on there where as you go along with the course you do homework to help with your writing skills and at some point are sharing your stories with the class. It's basically anonymous and you get honest, constructive feedback from your classmates and possibly instructor. So you get the social aspect and your actually get help with your writing skills. Both you have to pay for although there's the free version of the "Start Writing Fiction" course to see if you want to pay for it or not.

Hope these were helpful!

 

There aren't as much penpal threads any more but there is still a penpal tag /forums/photo-stories.37/?prefix_id=108 just not used very much any more

I would be interested in having a penpal though, it sounds fun and I've never done something like that before!

 

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Short answer it was something I wished to have as a kid, things happened, and as an adult I would like to try and make connections with other people with similar interests.

 

I reached out to a woman I found offsite with similar doll tastes to mine a couple years ago and ended up writing huge emails back and forth with her over a few months. Now we chat constantly and take turns trying to convince each other to buy dolls.

Finding people with similar dolls to your own and sending them a private message or email is a good place to start. I've reached out to a number of people and some people will respond happily and others just obviously aren't into it. I don't push the people who aren't interested, but I'm very happy with the few who will continue to chat with me.

Most people are not going to take the initiative to message you though. YOU have to make the first contact. Go send some PMs!!

 

I would be open to having penpals!! We could do digital or actual snail mail irl penpals!! Anyone who sees this post on this thread, if you want to send me a message to get started then this is your sign!!

 

Noooope. It never lasts long. I like to share experiences & emotions with ppl. And you can’t do it with pen pal. I rather have a blog which open to public. Where I have 0 connections or feelings with people on other end

 

I used to have sooooo many pen pals many years ago that I would regularly write and send letters through the post to, but of course over the years people stopped writing for whatever reason/moved and just lost touch with. BUT there was one person I never lost touch with and still to this day we are in contact we no longer write to each other that stopped many years ago and are not just pen pals now but friends and regularly talk on the phone and even meet up irl every now and then when we can we have now known each other for 23 years.
Bjd wise I used to do a huge amount of rp with mine years ago back in the "my space" days but no longer do rp with anyone and my dolls it's not really something I'm interested in to much these days but if anyone here would just like to chat about dolls with me that would be great feel free to message me?

 

I don't know about penpal. I'm impatient when it comes to communication. I like instant responses and don't like waiting for a letter. I think texting on chat would be fine. Letters feel foreign to me and too personal compare to texting. I want friendship, but i don't know how to go about it because I'm autistic. If i did get a penpal i would need clarification on some things i don't understand and will have to wait for the response. I understand your loneliness though and wanting more than a shallow level of interaction with people who are friends. I don't have friends though. I didn't care to have friends for most of my life, but every once in awhile I do crave friendship.

Also letters are permanent once written until time or something destroys them. Text can be unsent if you need to unsend something. If you regret what you said in the heat of the moment you can unsend a text on some chats, but a letter can't be undone once sent unless you know it gets lost.

I randomly dm doll people on instagram. I didn't know it was creepy. It must be because of my autism. If they respond then I talk for a bit if not then I don't care. Interactions online are most times shallow anyway. People seem to crave interactions and connections so they just talk to people online without really thinking about it maybe. I think people are lonely because of social media brings people together on a shallow level without a deep bond. We have so much access to all these people, yet there is a wall that people seem like they can't cross on social media to form deep friendships. Maybe it's the fear of interactions online can be publicized or perhaps people are too self absorbed these days lacking empathy and compassion.

When people are worried about how their words will be scrutinized and fear cancelation or doxxing it makes people careful it seems to form lasting bonds. Any time something offends someone it could lead to a witch hunt like in the korean movie socialphobia.

Without forgiveness and second chances and blindly hunting someone down seems to lead to fakeness and pretend openness or acceptance. It seems to create an atmosphere that people have to put on a social media mask to blend in so they don't get witch hunt. If they join the hunt they will be safe like how dogs join an attack blindly to be safe from a dog attack. Instead it turns into people following the masses like zombies blindly following the biggest accounts or influencers in how to think and behave which I think hurts people's ability to have empathy and thinking for themselves and making judgement for themselves. If people are being shaped to think and behave by a few select people we become their hound dogs. We lose our own compass and follow the directions of these select few in control. If these people with large followings say something about so and so they release the flood gates of inviting their followers/friends to hunt so and so down for blood. It doesnt help to create real friendships online. These people could be bad or good. I think you need empathy, forgiveness, etc to form deep friendships because everyone is flawed which means people are going to do something to offend someone. If friends are always nitpicking on this and that it won't lead to a deep lasting friendship, but canceling each other out and leaving a devastating trail of destruction. Friendship requires understanding amd sacrifices I think. Although I wouldn't know because I don't have friends.

Most humans i think tend to put themselves first, but I've only met like the worst types of people within my own family excluding my sister because she isn't like them. How i view things is probably very skewed.

Maybe I am wrong. I probably am. I'm not very smart. I got confused by what I was trying to say. I followed my train of thought, but my hands didn't type everything I was thinking I do this often. I probably edit this. Is this allowed what I wrote? Is it politics saying canceling and doxxing because I don't know anything about politics. Did I get off topic again? I feel like when I get long winded I get off topic. I have to follow my train of thought or I can't form thoughts very well or express it well. My brain jumps all over the place, so that seems to be how I write stuff. Maybe what I wrote is common knowledge? I not very smart.


Edit:

For example, i am new at selling my dolls i want to rehome. One person left a bad review to skew others to judge me before interacting with me based on a misunderstanding. They left a mark to influence how others would view me without giving me a second chance the person said some stuff but didn't bother to work it out. The person immediately canceled me out without giving me a chance to rectify the situation. Anyway it all worked out fine because what the person said was based on a biased review and luckily I had a review that was based on my interaction with the person and the good transaction. But this person has a considerable following compared to me. Anything someone with a decent following say can potentially lead to a witch hunt and perhaps some people do want that witch hunt to I don't know to validate how they must be right if their followers are "defending" them by hunting a person down without working out the problem civily. I hope i made sense I am not an intelligent person I had concussions long ago due to my parents and relatives. It effects my thinking. My sister says I am smart though. My brain hurts I used it too much.

Oh it seems my post was glitching it is not blank now. I thought everything got deleted. I would have been stressed if it did because I can't recall what I wrote.
If you want to be friends with me you can, but you don't have to I don't have anything to offer, but it seems you are seeking out a deeper friendship. I could be wrong then ignore this.

I have to go now my sister telling me to come eat the snack she bought me.

 

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I've usually had one or a couple people in the hobby at any time that I write to, often penpal style (online). I do like penpals. Writing snail mail letters to friends was something I did through school years.
I'm very grateful that I currently have a non doll hobby penpal, and have really been enjoying doing the international letters and sharing my love of art notecards with someone.
I'm open to more penpals in general however I prefer things to start online. And I don't always have good chemistry talking to people... But if anyone is lonely and looking (and you check my posts to see what kind of person I am and think you want to chat with me) you can always start a convo here.

 

My best friend lives, quite literally, half a world away (he's in Malaysia, I'm in the US). We talk daily via Discord, but both share a love of cute little stationary. At the beginning of last year, we tried to start up a paper penpal thing so we could each look forward to getting mail (and use the aforementioned cute stationary lol).

Well, I sent out my first letter. When he received it, it was obvious it'd been soaked through and dried sometime during the mailing process - which is something I should have expected, as he'd warned me that the mail service there left something to be desired. The very unfortunate thing was that when he opened the letter, my ink had completely washed away! He got a piece of paper with some water stains where ink used to be xD Needless to say, we were both highly disappointed lol.

He's yet to write me back, for that matter. Keeps worrying about how it's gotta be perfect, despite the fact that I've told him he could send me an intentionally blank piece of paper and I'd be happy because...well, mail from him. Maybe some day I'll get something, and it'll be a surprise lol.

 

I feel this way all the time. I actually don’t have any friends that play with dolls and it would be nice knowing and connecting with more doll people. I’m just really shy so it’s hard for me to make those friends. I hope you’re able to find more people to connect with though!

 

I am so paranoid about wet paper I always use waterproof pens Ugh, just has to be awful that that happened to you @Brytewolf

 

I was horrified when he showed me pictures of what he got! It hadn't even occurred to me as something I should look out for xD At least now if I ever get to write a reply to him, I know to either put my letter in a waterproof baggie (if I want to use the pretty pens again lol) or use waterproof ink! Let this be a lesson to all lol

 

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Earlier someone mentioned the app Slowly as a possible digital penpal thing @Gintsumi
I agree, it's a nice idea. Technically you could do that sort of thing through email too.

 

And @AlisonVonderland

That's definitely something I'd consider going through in the future!

Though the point of us doing it was mostly "use all these awesome/cute stationary we've been dying to get" so that wouldn't really translate to digital form as well. I'm one of those people who loves office supplies, though I don't get a chance to use the good ones any more!

 

Yeah me too @Brytewolf , I like to collect art notecards especially. I haven't bought papers in years but I've been really itching to get some Sanrio stuff for old times sake. Kind of going through a phase

 

Oh yes, the Sanrio stuff is always so cute!!! I think Lisa Frank ruined me, to be honest xD She always had the best kits, but we couldn't afford many growing up so I'd hoard the few I was able to get.

 

When I was in elementary school I think I had one big pack of Lisa frank stickers and I remember you could tear on the perforations and I would trade these with my friends and it was so wonderful I liked her stuff a long time. I had a folder with the tiger on it I think it was.
For me I never got Sanrio as a kid, the stores were so expensive and I liked them but I wasn't so into cutesy stuff for myself but I would go to the stores when we had them here and look around and just kind of admire the atmosphere of the characters.

 

I'd be happy to have a penpal. It's nice to actually take the time to take out the good stationary like the folks up top said. But it's a little more than that. It takes longer to write a letter and it's a much more personal way to reaching out to someone compared to an email (and in a way, also safer than a phone call.)

I used to have a number of penpals. I am still in touch with some of them. We trade postcards (and birthday cards!) Since COVID, a lot of these human connections have slowed down, but I miss it. It'd be a nice sort of way to reach out again.

 

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I used to write to a few people on and off when I was younger. Something about getting letters is a lot of fun. I think my favorite part of it probably was being able to draw all over the letters that I wrote! I also traded zines and comics with a few people more recently which was fun and I still have all of them!

I collect a lot of stationery, especially stickers and pens I love Lisa Frank… sadly I never had any of her stuff as a kid but I do remember having a lot of Sandy Lion stickers, I always loved the pet themed stuff

 

This is something I'd really like to do, but I feel like I'd have to "click" with someone's doll first.

Maybe someone should organize some letter swaps. I checked the swap section but it's really dead and the stuff there looks like it was also very structured.

 

For awhile I ran a simple swap, honestly don't have time now because of real life happenings, but it's not that hard/

What I would suggest is a "paper swap" where dolls send each other cards, stickers, origami, doll sized artwork, lucky charms something that fits in a one stamp envelope (keeps the prices within all budgets) to celebrate a theme or holiday. Multiple dolls from the same owner could participate, within reason, or groups/families of dolls could. As the moderator I'd have a few extra things on hand incase something got stuck in the Suez Canal but it always worked out fun.