Frustrated and looking for advice

Speaking for myself, I sell on any dolls that don't gel with me.

I don't tend to do much research, I buy dolls/heads I like look of and see if they fit in here, if they dont they (eventually) get sold on (I say "eventually" because I'm not very good about getting round to creating a sales thread/listing, more often than not it's been to someone i know becuase they happen to mention they want the doll I'm lookign to rehome, or some other serndipitous happening. Occasionally it's because I've taken the doll to a meet and let people know it's avialable or put it on the sales & swaps table.

Occasionally I'll get a doll I like from the secondary market that comes with a faceup or body I don't like and will have the face repaintd or get trifd of the unwanted body and buy one i prefer for the head to go on. When buying new, if i don't liek the default faceup, I'll buy blank and get it painted how i want it, If just th head is available, I'll buy just that and a body from elsewhere (very few companies do SD female bodies that are young/undeveloped enough for my doll family (mostly pre-teens or young teens) so my SD sized girl dolls are on the same or slimilar bodies from the small number of companies that do child-like bodies in that size, or some are on bodies that have had the bust modded flat, or boy bodies with the boy-bits modded off.

Teddy

 

I want to start this off with saying that there's nothing wrong with rehoming a doll that you once thought you were in love with but it turned out to not be what you expected it to be.

I had fell in love with the Granado Nuevo male body. Absolutely head over heels with it at first sight. The posability was dynamic, the sculpt's definition was gorgeous, the resin color was a perfect match for the hybrid I wanted to do. Everything about the body was exactly what I thought I wanted in a doll... And then he came home. And... For some strange reason, I never connected with him. I was never impressed by him. He was just, meh. I eventually put him in storage, and years later sold the body.

And you know what was really satisfying about selling him? How excited the buyer was to finally find one on the secondhand market.

So, let go of that doll that doesn't bring you joy, and let it bring joy to someone else instead.

 

I use to have a long running list of dolls I wanted. Dolls that I did a ton of research on to fit my characters. I don't think I bought any of them. I'm okay with that because things change. Stories, characters, your preferences, anything can alter in a way that will undo all of your careful planning and research. It stressed me out when I realized I would rather have dolls not on my carefully crafted list. I realized not every character needs a doll and I also don't need to stick with a story at all. I decided to buy the dolls I vibed with instead. What made it okay with me, was my happiness and excitement. I am very happy that I bought the dolls I wanted instead of dolls I put on a list because they suited a character.

Basically, changes are okay and if you feel it's time to move on from something don't try and force yourself to make it work. I see a lot of people hesitant to make changes in their collections when they know deep down it's what they really want to do.

 

If the dolls consistently dissapoint you, it may not be the dolls that are the problem.

I used to have a problem where I kept buying books. I'd buy so many at a time I would wipe my spendings account. I love books and I love reading, but I was going through a rough time and I really just wanted something to make me happy.

I still buy books sometimes,but I primarily use the library now. I also go to the library to read and buy myself something nice to eat and drink while there. This makes the library a prolonged positive experience with reading, which has done more to boost my mood than buying any number of books.

So I would look at what it is that dolls give you in terms of happiness and why you resort to buying dolls to fulfill that need. Perhaps making your own doll will be the enriching experience you crave which a single purchase can't provide. I find that having a project to express my creativity and use my problem solving skills makes me feel a lot more engaged with my hobbies.

 

Like you mentioned, I do a lot of research on the dolls I want, sometimes waiting years to buy them and going over them again and again. . .

I would say, every doll I bought with 'high' or 'set' expectations has disappointed me in some way or another. Like mentioned, there is a difference between pictures and having the physical item in front of you (it's why I am not a fan of online shopping lol).

Some of my dolls the resin is lighter than expected, others the joints don't pose or move they way I expected them to, others the face appears different in person versus photos. The only dolls I have been extremely happy with are the ones I bought in person (knowing everything about the one I was buying) or had no expectations for (older single jointed doll or 'rescue').

For me personally, that feeling is not limited to just dolls, but dolls are definately my most expensive purchases I buy online and wait up to a year and a half for so the disappointment hurts more.

With that said, I adore all of my bjds and vinyl dolls! I remind myself that these are handmade resin tubes held together with elastic and sometimes just are amazed at what they are at all. I focus on the things I like and that has done me just fine.

Realistically, I accept that no doll will be exactly what I want (even my grail, handsome as he is) but that is okay because there are other things I like about them.

If you truly cannot click with a doll, that is okay too. Sometimes the flaws are just too big to get past. Selling them to someone who might enjoy them more than you do is perfectly fine. I would just caution that if you feel this way about every doll you receive, you might just need to manage your expectations a little.

I will also note that a wishlist does not have to be set in stone. I add things or remove things quite regularly, at least a few times a year. Sometimes it is switching dolls out for ones I think will suit me over another, others I thought I really wanted. . . And decide that I do not want them bad enough to make room for or take money away from something else. That is okay! That is why listing them is good, gives you something to actually see and manipulate, gives you the ability to prioritize and virtually see what your collection might look like. If you no longer want any dolls on your list, maybe your tastes are changing pretty quickly right now. Keep up that list, it will benefit you.

 

I realized after a massive cleanout my collection that sometimes I don't actually love or want the doll I'm seeing -- I just want a closer look.

I got rid of all of my 44cm dolls and all of their stuff about a year ago and swore them off for good. They always seem to fall to the bottom of my priorities and I love my larger dolls way, way more. I couldn't figure out why until a close friend handed me his 44cm Luts boy to play around with, and I realized I loved interacting with it; changing the clothes, replacing the eyes, and so on, but had no personal desire to own one. I just wanted a closer look at his mini, and a lot of the dolls I impulse-bought were the same thing.

Now I constantly ask myself, "Do I want to own it and go through the process of completing it? Eyes, hair, face, clothes? Or do I just want to see it up close?"

 

In agreement with @SneakyUnicorn and @MariSunshade on multiple points. It's good to be reminded that preconceived ideas and doll-in-hand can be very different experiences.

 

I’ll research a particular doll for many several months or years before pulling the plug and purchasing it. This also means I basically never buy limiteds, unless it’s a limited version of a pre-existing sculpt I already had on my list. I have to absolutely make sure that it’ll be a worthwhile purchase. It’s why my collection is so small. I only have 4 dolls, and am waiting on my 5th and 6th, which are both the same sculpt in two different colors (tan and peach).

But I’m kind of on the extreme end of being a cautious purchaser. Dolls aren’t the only thing my caution extends to. So by no means should you approach it like I do!

Outside of that, I think it’s natural that our tastes will change as we grow older and trends come in and out of fashion. It’s kind of inevitable.

 

I am not a long-term BJD collector, (ordered my first in June 2020), but if you don't mind this, here is my story.

I am lucky in the sense that only one of the sculpts I like is limited and I was fortunate enough to find him second-hand for a low price (because he had a bit of damage). The other 5 sculpts I like are not limited, which greatly eliminates the need of impulse purchases.

Each purchase has been considered for at least 3 months, because, while I don't believe that my dolls have souls or anything, I try to do the thing in which once they are home, I will take them as they are (or at least try), like I would children. They may have their defaults, not look exactly like I imagined, but I chose to have them, so I will do my best with what I receive. (Of course, since they are chunks of resin, there is nothing morally wrong with reselling them. I just did that for all my toys when I was a child, so just continuing the trend.)

My first doll looked exactly like I imagined, easily the most gorgeous of my dolls. She poses like a dream too. She looks and feels almost exactly like I imagined. Is her sculpt perfect? On close inspection, you will notice than one of her eye sits higher than the other. I still love her because: 1) No one is perfectly symetrical IRL, unless you are a robot XD 2) Overall, I love her face and the impression she gives off!

I struggled most with my second that I ordered second-hand (the limited one). When he came, I was disappointed : he was a poor poser and the sculpt looked very different from what I imagined. I wiped his faceup, but couldn't do well. I tried wigmaking, but sucked at it. After three frustrating months, I gave up and commissioned an artist faceup for him, which changed his atmosphere dramatically. He looks nothing like I imagined at the start, but I ended up loving the result anyway, flaws and all!

My third just came today and I was a bit put out when I first looked upon her face. I just switched her eyes and I can say that, while she does not look exactly like I expected, she is beautiful in her own way and I can see good points that I did not expect.

I am satisfied with my current collection and currently have no plans to sell any of them. Or perhaps I am just not picky. XD I have expectations when I order dolls, but I am okay with adjusting them with what I have to work with. In a way, it's a bit like they came with their own quirks and personality!

 

For a while I was feeling a little meh about my collection (some sort of mix of "wow I've spent all this money on this and I'm not investing as much time as I should be" and "maybe I made a mistake, but I do like some of them for sure")....

For me, I realized it was because I had a ton of expectations about how quickly I was going to paint them, upgrade them, do projects and sew for them... and it was less that I was disappointed with any of the dolls. It was more of a disappointment in how quickly I have been getting around to working on them and getting them closer to my vision.

Someone on this forum said a comment like, "the dolls aren't going anywhere; they will wait for you!" and that helped me to feel more centered about having this collection that is not yet my vision. It's always nice to have a canvas to work with when you're ready.. and that's what they are.

For the ones I'm less excited about, I have plans to make them much better. It'll just take time. But also there might be a couple I'll sell eventually

 

Of course, it might be that your expectations are a bit too high so can never be met by reality.... Just throwing that out there, in case.

Teddy

 

I don't quite know how to put this, but I'm coming from a different angle here^^
I keep asking myself why it is that a single detail in a doll can stop you from enjoying it at all, so much so that you will find such an off-putting detail in all of your dolls?
When I think of the dolls I love most, they all, each and every one, despite being gorgeous, have their "faults". One poses like a bucket, one has a hilarious ski slope nose, another looks very unflattering from a certain angle.... and so on. Much like people. And I love them no less for their quirks, they make them unique. When I look at the 'whole package' of the doll, then I can still see in them what I loved about them from the beginning, my vision of them.
It is pretty much impossible to research a doll you do not have in hand so well that it will not be able to surprise you with an unwanted detail, anyway.
Sorry if I haven't explained very well, just food for thought.

And whenever I hear people speaking about their problems with their carefully plotted wish lists... sometimes when you try to control life too hard, it will just buck under you the more, like a wild horse^^

 

I think having expectations is the ice breaker here. When we have high expectations the disappointment can be so big it won't make us enjoy that thing no matter what.

I only remember one time I felt like this. I had very HIGH expectations with a kpop group, it was my first comeback ever so yeah...the expectations were through the roof. When the comeback song dropped I hated everything because my expectations weren't met and no matter what I did, I never liked the song lol to this day I still hate that song with a burning passion but I still like the group, I simply don't have any expectations anymore.

Dolls are different because I expect to put some work into them to make them how I want them. I only expect to receive nothing broken or with bad resin. The rest is up to me, I like to paint and restring them. I change eyes and wigs constantly until one combo clicks, I modify the wigs if I don't like the shape. I modify the clothes if they don't fit right etc this is why I love these dolls, it requires our work to make them unique. They are art and art is infinite.

I had "dream" dolls in the past that as soon as I got them out of the box I didn't want them. One was Soseo, he was my dream doll and when I finally got him I felt overwhelmed and sold him. Same with Iplehouse Claude. I just felt off when I had him in my hands and sold him. Later I found out I couldn't do good with big dolls....at least not back then, I love the faces but I wasn't ready for big dolls. Now I have more big dolls than tinies and I am waiting on Iplehouse Claude again because I always loved the sculpt and I don't mind having big dolls now.

The good thing about this hobby is that we can always sell and there's nothing wrong with that^^

 

@MaleficientMrsofEvil: IDK if it helps, but I also don't really see any potential in a doll. I only sew and knit, so I rely more on companies faceups because I can't do it. I saw a doll from my favorite doll artist and I was: "meh" but I saw her in tan and it blew my socks off. I don't have an eye for color too and rely a lot on others pictures.

The only time I tried envisioning it was with my second doll, the only one bought second-hand. I thought I could create something. I was so very wrong. XD Thankfully, a very talented faceup artist brought him to life and, while she did excellent work and followed my instructions perfectly, the result did not match my initial vision. But I still love the head: it literally did not live up to my expectations, but it's still a beautiful sculpt with a gorgeous faceup and I can admire it as a head with "unexpected potential".

I think it's easier to love sculpts if we accept that all the little defaults and defects make them more realistic. Someone with only beautiful features would be boring or unsettling.

 

I completely know what you mean. Sometimes when they arrive they aren't what you expected. I have bought and sold so many.
At the same time, i find myself just shopping constantly. I have gotten bad about it, I spend less time looking at them or photographing them and more time just shopping... when there's nothing I need. Its a problem

 

I know I figured out at one point that I'd fall in love with photos of the doll, but not so much having it in person.

 

Honestly, that draft you have is great! If you come back and every time there is no doll that has remained on that list, move on. Those dolls are not the worth the time, money, and effort then. Even if you see it later but modded/dressed/altered by someone else to your liking, it just means someone took the time/money/resources to make it their own and it reflects in the doll. But...if there is at least one doll that still makes the list over and over again, go to the next step and see unfiltered without best lighting/poses/background pictures/videos of that doll. If it still makes the cut, maybe consider meeting it in person.

Although the internet is convenient with researching what a doll could look like and pose like, it doesn't replace seeing it and holding it in person. If circumstances were different, I would say to simply attend meet-ups and conventions where you know fellow BJD owners are going to attend, network from there, and pretty much hang out every once in a while to see their latest dolly purchases. Find out the face-up artists they use that you consistently like the face-ups for in person and if you have a doll that is otherwise perfect except for the face then at least you have a handful of artists to send it to. Same thing with bodies. You can either send them out to someone that can "fix" their ability to pose or try making a hybrid with combos that owners here have figured out are tried and true and are great matches for your desired head sculpt and body.

I myself had asked if certain dolls from certain companies would be present at a meet-up that I was going to and some fellow members would oblige and bring their dolls. With their permission, I would handle the dolls at the meet up and make the decision whether or not to purchase in the same doll/company later from either straight from the company or through the secondhand marketplace. When it was a particularly rare doll or if seeing them in person was not an option, I would simply message the owner here if I could see some IRL pictures and ask them what they liked and didn't like about their doll and other things that I wanted to know to help me decide if I should get that doll in the secondhand market later or to hopefully wait for a rerelease from the original company. There will be of course owners that don't want anyone else handling their dolls or are super private and don't want to share pictures or videos of their dolls which is fine. But it doesn't hurt to ask if it will help you.

I also had a friend that did face-ups for a bit and that was another way I discovered different dolls from different companies, not only from her own personal collection but from her commissions as well. I now have a list of companies and dolls I would love to still get in the future but I also have a list of "hell no" dolls/companies from this experience. It's personal preference and so having a good idea of what you like and don't like as well as what consistently works for you and what keeps changing really helps narrow down things for your doll collection.

Second hand marketplace is great as a test run, but there's still the problem of just amassing a collection of random dolls that may or may not be to your liking for the short term or long term.

In regards to making your own ideal doll yourself, just ask yourself a couple things:

• What's your type?
  • If you have certain types you like, figure out which companies/dolls/sculpts that have been consistent for you and build a potential wishlist from there.
• What do you care about most?
  • Reliability/consistency of a company, resin quality, cost, posing ability, clothing/wig/shoes/accessory availability, sculpt/body variety/types, size/scale, realistic/anime-ish/fantasy/animal/monster, etc? Rank from what you care most, what you can be flexible with, and what are hard hell-nos. Go from there.
• Do you have experiences with face-up/body blushing?
  • If so, great!
    • But are you doing proper PPEs? Based upon second hand exposure to my friend's face-up work, I can tell you resin dust and face-up material poisoning is no joke. Never do face-ups or modding in areas where you or others live or eat at. Think asbestos level of poisoning. It never leaves no matter how much you clean. Literally, at some point you might have to consider taking a break for health reasons.
  • If not, are you willing to invest in the materials for doing face-ups/body blushing, learning on practice heads/bodies, as well as having a designated work space with PPEs that's well ventilated? The cost and time invested adds up which makes paying for company made face-ups or sending it out to an establish artist for face-ups/mods actually cheaper in the long run (as well as safer for your health).
• Can you sew and work with/draft patterns?
  • If so, great! Saves money in the long run, especially if you know where to shop for fabric and other materials. Plus, so many different patterns available here and elsewhere even for free.
  • If not, consider take a sewing class at like a Moore's or Joann's or find a local sewing group willing to take you in. Set a budget for a beginner sewing machine that you can grow with, learn about different materials and techniques (helps with wig making too), and then after a few years makes it all worth it for custom clothing and accessories that will fit all your dolls no matter what.
• Do you have the resources and time to make the doll from scratch?
  • If so, great! Post your doll making journey here and anywhere else. Be proud of what you can do as that's a talent.
  • If not, check out other fellow members' threads that are making dolls from scratch to see their journeys, how much money and time they invest in, and find out the pros and cons of making a doll from scratch so it's less trial and error for you as well as less money spent on things you don't want to use or isn't a good fit for your journey.

Like a few others have said. If after all that research you realize a doll you have bought isn't to your liking at all for whatever reason, you can simply sell it if modding/altering it isn't an option or doesn't work. And even if it was your ideal doll at the moment, maybe later it won't, it's still okay to sell it. Once you find your groove, it gets easier.

 

I would say, if in doubt, don't buy. It's an expensive hobby, unless you are good at reselling, it's too much to risk. I lost quite an amount trying to sell dolls I couldn't bond with. My mistake in buying them was adoring the good photos of them but ignoring the ones that maybe showed the same dolls in the ways I didn't like.
I wouldn't overindulge in watching videos either - they are often made either by a manufacturer who wants to sell the product, or by somebody who bought the doll and clearly likes it.

 

I feel like with how many dolls come out yearly it is easy to lose interest in past dolls, at least for me. I tend to latch onto something I haven't had before and get really excited about it and that makes me lose interest on what I already have. I don't like this about myself but I think it is normal because I have had conversations with many people that are the same.
I look at my collection now, and what I used to have and I cringe over the amount spent and feel guilty. I have lost so much money on dolls I no longer own and I keep asking why I bother to buy more. It would be easier if we could see them in person before buying but that is not how it works.
I miss the days when I had just one or two, I don't like this overwhelming feeling and I don't enjoy them the more I have I noticed.
I agree with others that have said when in doubt don't buy. I do like the list idea, I have one for dolls already purchased to keep track of where or who I got them from, what I paid, if I sell them what I sold them for and who I sold them to.

 

Here’s an interesting piece of advice- if you go out looking for ___ that’s all you will find. The Flatwoods Monster can tell you that
If all you look for are flaws that’s all you will find are flaws.
If your dolls are always flawed are they reflecting something you feel about yourself or current life situation?

 

I've tried to 'force' myself to jive with dolls in the past that I was disappointed with. I only ended up bitter and feeling guilty every time I looked at them. I've since rehomed the two I wasn't connecting with and I'm super happy that I did. They both went to far better homes, and their new owners really enjoy having them. I also got back the majority of my money, so I didn't lose too much. I enjoy seeing pictures their new owners share of them. It's nice to be happy to see those dolls instead of angry again.

I'm trying to not buy any more dolls until after I've gotten a decent wardrobe for the dolls I already have. I feel like most of my dissatisfaction comes from the monotony and same-ness of their current wardrobes. I'm also prone to impulse purchases, which is never a good trait to have if you're into an expensive hobby. I used to get a rush when getting a new doll, I don't feel that way anymore. That's probably for the best. A little bit of self control goes a long way sometimes.

 

Working on my dolls is what gives me satisfaction. l'm very hands on with them, I rarely keep the doll the same way if came from the company and I'm usually disappointed when I order a full set doll or face up from the company. I also can't commission someone because I end up not feeling satisfied with the work.

Only 4 dolls out of the 30+ dolls I own have a face up from the company because the face up fits my dolls personality but the rest have my face up. If I couldn't work on my dolls I couldn't be in this hobby. I can't have unfinished dolls or dolls that don't give me inspirationš to work on them

I'm average, my work is not popular, my face uos are plain but they are made by me and according to my dolls' style so I feel happy when I work on them. I feel at a loss with a doll when I can't figure out who they are or when I can't find the right look for them.

You mentioned not having a vision, I don't either but I get inspired by books, people I meet, etc and the only thing I need to buy a doll is to like the sculpt. I hope you find what you need in order to enjoy your dolls.

 

@MaleficentMrsofEvil No Worries! I pop in and out of this forum all the time. Haha. Just glad to help out in any way I can.

Have fun with face-ups. It's a journey with ups and downs, but based upon those that do it for themselves, it's so worth it. And yay for PPEs! It's always fun to see how people improve along the way and have their own unique styles.

Omigawd, yes! I think sewing for BJDs is more difficult than sewing for humans. At least with human clothes, it's okay to make mistakes and not have to worry about scale too much as from a distance, or even up close, it's hard to tell unless someone is really scrutinizing it. With BJD sized stuff, looking for findings that are perfectly BJD sized starts to become a hobby in itself. If you didn't hoard findings before, you will with this hobby. Heh. In regards to sewing itself, my eyes and fingers got so strained as the perfectionist in me just kept on trying to make it right. Hahaha. Thus, the reason why I rather pay for it instead of doing it myself. Hahaha.

And yes, so much fun! Keep enjoying yourself and do what's right for you. It's all about what brings you joy and satisfaction so doing what fits into your lifestyle will be worth it no matter what. Continue having fun!