Do you have a right to feel offended?

As long as people respectfully take the correction and don't continue to misgender the doll, it's not too bad. But if someone actually tries to argue with you on the fact your doll is a boy, or demands to see "proof" before believing it -- I would be extremely offended!

As someone who will very soon own a boy doll (!) who will most likely be wearing dresses at least half of the time, I can commiserate already.

 

If you have a male doll and dress it in clothes that without a doubt make it looks feminine, then you'd better be ready for people to ask question, make the wrong assumptions, and possibly even mock you for it. Now, the very last instance is one such circumstance in which you have a right to be offended because it's your personal taste and it's none of their business...

But if you are going to throw a fit and something anytime someone sees your male doll in girly clothes and they make a mistake...then get a doll with resin boobs, dress your male in more male or gender neutral clothes, or toughen up, grin, and bear it. You shouldn't act offended if someone makes an honest mistake. People take things at face value, and this isn't some well-known, mainstream hobby. Not everyone is familiar with the aesthetic of these dolls, and even I still have to hear that my abadon looks like a woman, even though to me, he looks very much like a man... Does that mean I get offended? Uh, no. Why? Because I have yet to be mocked for having a doll that looks feminine to some, and if they don't care enough to make a big deal out of it, why should I?

 

I have a friend who keeps referring to one of my dolls as "she" even though he is dressed in boy clothes and only has a shoulder-length wig on, not a super-long one... I've told her several times that he's a "he" but either my friend keeps forgetting, or doesn't care enough to make the effort to get it right.

I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm offended by this, but it does annoy me a little.

 

Everyone has the right to feel what ever. You dont have the right to trough it back at someone though.

 

See, what would bug me is not someone assuming my doll was a girl (your sister is right, if I put them in a dress and give them long hair, what else is sociey going to automatically think!) but if that same someone, even after haing been told, insisted upon referring to my doll as a 'she' because that is just rude behaiour!

 

I'm one of those poeple who, by mistake, always calls boys girls XD But if a boy is wearing a skirt, then what does the owner expect. Of course if you have already explained a couple of times that the doll is actually a boy even though he likes to dress up in skirts, then I would say the problem is somewhere else then in the doll and it's dress... Maybe in the attitude or so. I do feel that it's rude to call the doll a girl if the owner has clearly stated that it's a boy.

BUT! For example here in DoA there are so many dolls that you really can't remember every doll that you have made some comments to. In this case I think it's quite odd to get offended if someone calls your girly boy a girl more then once. Even though in a way I understand that it's annoying that people just don't remember or so, but I think (would hope) it's mostly because of an honest mistake. So I don't think that in general people mean anything bad by it... And if there is someone who just doesn't understand where you and your doll are coming from, then that's their problem not yours

 

Here's the thing - if you're going to get offended, that's on you and how you choose to react to something. If you dress a boy doll in a skirt, the expectation of 90% of the world is to assume it's a girl. It doesn't help either that most faces on boy dolls are very effeminate already - so true that some people use boy heads for their female characters.

If they constantly keep mentioning the wrong gender when referring to your doll it might get annoying. Though it has to be understood that not everyone is 100% versed on dolls and more than likely doesn't put that much importance on remembering if this particular doll that is dressed like a female is actually male. There's a fine line between people having that mistake because it's not their hobby and they just don't put much emphasis on remembering vs being flat out rude and trying to evoke a heated response.

 

While I think your sister was right in the fact that nobody should be offended if they make the mistake at first sight, I do think it's understandable if they continue to and just don't care. I mean, forgetting is one thing but to just go along and ignore any preference is really rude.

 

My MSD F08 girl with a girlish faceup, piggytails wig, skirt dress, and high heel. constantly being mistaken as a cross-dressing boy, I think I can feel offened as I see fit, it's all up to your mood though

 

If you/your doll looks like a girl, don't be offended when people automatically assume it is a girl. If I saw a very feminine doll wearing a dress, I'd assume it's female. It's a safe assumption to make. If you've told this person that the doll is a male and they continue to call it by female pronouns, yes I could see you getting pissed at that... just... I hate it when people assume I'm a psychic. I can't read your mind. I can only draw conclusions based on the evidence before me.

Tl;dr: When I hear hoofbeats, I think horses, not zebras. When I see a dress, I think girl, not boy (unless there is some clear evidence to the contrary).

 

You can't blame people for thinking a doll is the gender it looks like. It's not ignorance. A lot of male dolls genuinely look female. If you don't like it - don't do it. Or don't show it to people and expect them to feel the same way as you do.

 

If you choose to cross-dress your dolls, then perhaps it is to be expected that people may confuse the sex of your doll -- especially since so many male ball-joined dolls could be described as effeminate. Any perceived offense should be regarded as discontent toward gender norms rather than offense at the individual.

If someone refuses to acknowledge your effeminate doll as a male even after you have corrected them, then I do believe a certain degree of offense is warranted on the basis of close-mindedness and prudery.

 

It's rather silly to expect someone to know at first glance that the doll is a HE when it dresses and looks like a girl. To get offended at that person would be wrong. Getting pissed off after telling people again and again, would be ok as long as you don't explode. The visual cues clearly states that it is a girl. Now that's your doing~

Oddly, enough I hear of a lot of girl sculpts being used on boy bodies. See how confused people could get just by knowing that sculpt is made as a girl? (Given the name is not discernible or unknown) A lot of boy sculpts look like girls as well. First time I looks at dolls, I have no idea which is made a girl and which is the boy since all of them looked like girls to me. You can't blame the newbies.

 

I think it's absurd for someone to be offended by that. There is absolutely no reason that someone seeing a pretty, effeminate-faced doll should think it's more likely to be male than female. And if you get offended by someone guessing wrong then I'd say you're taking things too seriously anyway! :P

 

I really think your sister was right, especially since a lot of male dolls look really androgynous to start with, and then you put a dress on it, of course most people will make the mistake. Of course, the owner has a right to be annoyed, everyone has a right to their feelings, but they really shouldn't show it in that case, because if it was an honest mistake it wasn't meant to be offensive. But for those of you who've mentioned friends that always make the same mistake with the same doll, then that annoyance is much more understandable.

 

an honest mistake is fair enough - most of us would mistake a person irl who was wearing a dress and had a face like a bjd as a girl, because they do look very feminine.

I would however be offended if she carried on calling him a girl after she'd been corrected - if you knew the previously mentioned person was in fact a feminine looking guy, you wouldn't carry on referring to him as a 'she' would you? so you shouldn't do it to a doll either.x

 

If you make the mistake, then fine. Everyone has pinned someone for the wrong gender at least once in their life. If it's a first time offense, then I say that you should just let it go. If the person keeps doing it on purpose or is just being purely malicious about it, then I would take offense.

 

My daughter thinks ALL my dolls look like girls (even my IH Dexter - I have raised her wrong) - and she's not alone
I only get annoyed (as others have said) if a person (like my brat) continually insists that the doll is female despite being told it is not (she's teasing but some people are not)

 

I have to meet somewhere in the middle. A male doll in a dress is probably meant to *be* a female doll; unless there is some backstory that the doll owner created which somehow makes him a cross-dressing male. Since even some of the most masculine dolls can have feminine features, you might have to explain the backstory to others else they will assume it is just a female doll.

 

If I saw a baby dressed in pink I would assume it was a girl. When I first saw these dolls I thought they were all girls, their features being so delicate and refined. I wouldn't get offended, it's just a natural assumption.

 

I wouldn't be offended, but like others have said if it is a continual thing by the same person I would be annoyed. It's probably just their personal perception, and for some people it takes some training before they start to distinguish between male and female BJDs. My boyfriend was terrible at guessing genders, but after showing him a ton of sculpts, he's actually quite good (especially after I told him
"When in doubt, guess male" ).

 

I think everyone has the right to be offended and annoyed about whatever they want - but that isn't to say that they're right. Personally, something I have found is that it's so easy to get immersed in this hobby that it's easy to forget what it looks like from the outside.

I remember myself being quite shocked at dolls I would have sworn were female but weren't. But now I can spot it a mile away - what the gender of a doll really is - often without needing to see the chest. But more than that, I don't even question it anymore - effeminate dolls have become a normality. But to beginners and people outside the hobby, it can be quite mind boggling. There will probably be more people that get the gender wrong than those that get it right. There's nothing wrong with that.

In my opinion, doll owners shouldn't get offended if their doll's gender is mistaken, but that's not to say they don't have the right to. However, I'll admit there is a certain something that irritates me, even without girly dolls - when someone mistakes a boy for a girl, is corrected but then continues to insist they are female. I've had conversations like:

A: She's pretty
M: It's actually a boy :P
A: What???
M: I know... but it is a boy.
A: No, it's not! It's a girl!
M: No, it might look like that, but he's just feminine. He has no brests and underneath those close he has male parts.
A: I don't care, that's a girl.
M: It isn't! It has no brests!
A: It's a girl! Look at it, it's wearing a dress! I don't care what you say, it isn't a boy.
M: ASDJIEUFHCIWNHDOWEHOCHFWI *flail headdesk*

Shortened version, but arguments like that go on for a long time, usually with the other person wearing some smug sort of smile like their opinion could move mountains, let alone change the gender of a doll they've only seen one photo of.

Yeah, that kinda bugs me.

 

That is a good advice.
There are dolls that are dificult to distinguish
Don't think it's offensive though if a person say "she" instead of "he". Comes with the territory.
The person usually only saw the picture in the internet. Didn't hold the doll or had any more clues about it than the image he/she is seing.

 

haha i was coming here to post almost exactly this! my dog Rockstar is an adorable little longhaired miniature dachshund & i don't think ANYONE in his two & a half years of life has ever said "aw HE's so cute" upon meeting him lol

maaay have had something to do with the fact that for the first year he had a hot pink collar because damnit, i love hot pink! but then that goes back to the topic of this conversation & that no, of course i wouldn't/shouldn't be offended when people thought he was a girl due to his pink collar. that's just me being selfish & wanting the entire world to be pink.

if you want to dress your male doll in girly clothes & have them portray themselves as effeminate because that's what YOU think is awesome/fun/interesting, then you shouldn't offended if people call him a girl on first sight!

ps, now rockstar's got a very tough blue camouflage-print collar like a proper big man

 

I agree with your sister. I had the same problem when looking at dolls on dA. If it looks like a girl, and is in girl clothing, I just can't accept that it's "supposed to be a boy." *shrug*

 

well.. your sister definitely shows some amount of ignorance, still I agree with her.
I never understod the whole drag thing. In reality, yes.. guys who feel like being girls, best dress drag. But if I wanna have a female looking doll, why don't I just get a female..??

 

i agree with your sister, and i don't see why people would get offended over such. it is perfectly normal that if you dress your boy in girl clothes (note that there are some male sculpts that can easily pass for girls out there) the first guess that people are going to make is that it "obviously" is a girl...unless you tell them otherwise.

 

What if you don't want a "female looking" doll - what if you want a male doll in a skirt?

 

Yes-- and it's even sillier when the person who guessed the wrong gender gets offended at being corrected! "She's pretty." "Thanks, but it's a boy." "Well, *indignant huff* it looks like a girl! It's totally feminine! It has long hair! It's not logical to assume it's a boy! How is anybody supposed to guess that??" [*sound of forehead-veins throbbing*]

I have actually seen this happen, too. It's hilarious-- like it's such a big deal that their Drag Radar is crap, that they feel they have to save face. Or something. I dunno, never second-guess those with short fuses. I mean, Jesus, man, relax, save your blood-pressure... it's just a doll.

Rule One!

This rule has actually led me to mis-guess a lovely girl doll in boy-drag before, but I wasn't offended and nor was her owner. ^^ The law of averages in this hobby still makes it overwhelmingly more successful to just Guess Male First.

Rule Two! They're just NOT the same thing.

 

Seriously, if you want to say something nice and you aren't sure, just compliment the dress.

 

I can see both sides to this story. On one hand a lot of the tiny dolls do look more feminine even without the clothes distinction. At least the ones I've seen generally do. I think it's just unique to the sculpt. My husband couldn't tell the difference between a boy tiny and a girl tiny. I don't think it would offend me.

However, I can see why someone could be offended or at least minimally annoyed. It stems from people just not knowing about the hobby so they make assumptions, I suppose. And yeah, if the doll is wearing a dress people will think it is a girl, because that's the norm in society. The owner just has to expect questions like that. But after being told the doll is male, if the person continues questioning the attire and look of the doll it would be frustrating. And I think at that point they're either being ignorant or rude.

 

Four and a half years running, my dad STILL thinks Amir is female, despite countless reminders that he is NOT. He has long blond hair, yes....but so does my husband and he is anything but girly! I've NEVER dressed Amir in drag. Ever. He wears business suits, dress pants, jeans, tshirts, button ups, tank tops...typical male clothing. Usually, his clothes are so tight there should be NO mistaking that. (we're talking AoD guy here...>.> ) yet it never fails...he's always "that girl" to my dad. What confuses me even more is that my sister's dolls are "her boys" to my dad....even the DZ Megi in the pink wig!


It also frustrates me when a male is not dressed as a female on non-doll people try to argue about the gender. My co-worker (I work in an office and am allowed to have a doll "decorating" my desk) has tried to flat out fight with me over the gender of Hansel, my RingDoll Valo. The guy commented on "her" legs (Hansel was wearing black jeans and a tshirt), I told him Hansel is a guy. and he told me, SO confidently, that I was WRONG! I told him nicely that Hansel is my doll, he's male, I'm sure of it. but he wouldn't drop it and just kept insisting that I was calling a girl doll a guy. Finally, though I tried to ignore him and change the subject, he asked "Does he have a 'thing'?" and I told him yes. to which he replied, "No, he doesn't. No way. That's a girl." -headdesk- I did NOT strip my poor boy (though Hansel wouldn't have minded, he has no sense of modesty). I was done with the ignorance at that point.


I understand that people unfamiliar to BJDs might not be expecting such "pretty" boys, but once corrected, I don't understand the need to argue. Though if you are putting a male doll in typically girl clothes, expect it. It's confusing to people. I wouldn't put a boy in a dress and get mad that he was mistaken for a girl. As a baby my mom dressed me in blue overalls and red and blue tshirts, never frilly dresses or pink clothing, except special occasions. I got mistaken for a boy CONSTANTLY. and when told "Awww, he's just to pretty to be a little boy!" she'd reply "that's because she's not!" and laugh it off and let it go. It's really nothing to get upset over. There are much bigger things to spend time on than that.

 

The first time my mum saw Alex I'd told her prior to their first introduction that he was in fact a male. When I introduced him to her, he was wearing his Dollmore kimono & a mid-length wig and she said: "That's a male? He looks quite feminine." I reassured her, with a quick flash of his white briefs for some reason, that he is a rather masculine doll. I wasn't offended in any way. I love how Alex looks feminine with his wig, and how elegant he looks in his kimono. And I don't really care what others think of him.

 

My cousin is 9 and EVERY single time I show her a male doll, she assumes it's a girl. I always ask her why she thinks that, and sometimes it's the long hair, sometimes it's long eyelashes, and sometimes she says he's just dressed too pretty. I don't think it's too big of a deal. For example, my daughter is 1 year old and is constantly mistaken as a boy because she's still bald. It doesn't matter if she's wearing a dress or if I tell them HER name. So...I just let them know, she's a girl or he's a boy. Because at the end of the day it doesn't matter what they think, they don't have magical gender-changing powers.

 

I think that people are always sensitive when it comes to gender issues, and in a sense this is a gender issue. As humans, we are taught to live in a code (dresses are for women, pants are for men) so that we can make sense of our surroundings. When something disturbs that equilibrium, it brings attention. It is foreign, not right.
Clearly people have a right to do with their dolls whatever they choose, but in making some choices they should expect notice. That does not mean, however, that their choices should be ridiculed or made fun of. We all have the right to respect.
Personally speaking, I am not fond of the androgynous look, but that is my preference. Sometimes when I am looking at a doll with the intent of purchase, I am annoyed that I have to really look to see if it is a male or female body. That, too, is my preference. But that doesn't mean that I am going to be difficult or rude to another person who dresses his/her doll in that fashion. After all, it is a matter of personal taste.
As for offense, if none if given, none should be taken. I see dolls I adore, I see dolls I don't care for. If I see a doll I don't care for, I keep my mouth shut unless specifically asked for my opinion. I think people would be better off doing this more.

 

I don't remember if I told this story, but I've had two instances where I mistook a boy doll for a girl.

The first was before I joined DoA, and really had no idea how many people had these dolls, and if these were a popular thing. I was looking on YouTube for videos of people who owned dolls (not the best place to go, I found, back then), and I came upon someone who had a really beautiful doll. I told them that I liked their doll - I might've said 'she's beautiful', or something like that. The owner was kind, and told me it was actually a boy. Still being completely new to the idea of BJDs, I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I think, if I saw the doll now, I would, but back then it was really new.

I also had a semi-embarrassing event happen at the meet I went to. They had a Puki, and I completely mistook it for a girl. They didn't really correct me, and I only found out when someone else went up to them, and the owner referred to it as a 'he'. I was really embarrassed; I didn't know if I should apologize for my mishap, but I did remember it for the remainder of the time.

But doll owners are going to know their dolls best. You might know your doll is a boy, but be aware that it might look like a girl to others. I think it's kind of silly to go insisting that someone's doll is a girl rather than a boy if you're told by the owner it is, in fact, a boy. Why the heck would you try to debate that? Yes, it can easily look like a girl to most people, but why are you giving me a lecture on that fact?

I'm betting he's just teasing you. He might think the reaction you give to that is humorous, and might enjoy poking fun at you. I think a lot of families do that to one another from time to time, or they keep it as a running joke. True, it can be kind of tiring, though.

 

My Resinsoul Long has a factory faceup (pretty androgynous, but it doesn't look like makeup), short hair, and wears a t-shirt and plaid pants, and those of my coworkers who didn't see the nude box-opening pics of him first often think he's female. Does it offend me? No. I think it's funny. Then again, I think it's funny when my pre-op ftm friend gets mistaken for a girl because to my mind he registers as male.

 

I'm sorry, but your sister is right. Dress = girl for just about everybody who's not familiar with either drag or the Jpop fascination with guys in long pretty dresses. It's something that's been put in their heads more or less since birth and you shouldn't expect them to throw it out the window just because it's your doll and you really, really prefer people to use "he" and "him."

Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge drag fan, and I've always kind of wanted a doll modeled on Ongina, my favorite drag performer. But the thing is, in drag tradition, it's actually correct to use "she" and "her" when the performers are in costume. So even if the doll was portraying someone in drag, I would still use feminine gender pronouns to refer to it if it was wearing a dress at the time.

 

It's fine for them to make the mistake, but once they've been politely corrected as to what the doll's gender is, that should be the end of the discussion. So yes, I would expect them to then refer to the doll in the way that I refer to the doll. People who continue to insist the doll is female or can't be male or on the reverse, can't be female because of the short hair and muscles are being assholes.

 

"Well shouldn't they expect that? Kinda comes with the territory? They knew what people would say and ask and if it's so annoying why do it at all? If they choose to make their doll all feminine and stuff they knew what they're getting into, they haven no right to complain and get all up tight!"

yup, exactly what i was thinking. how are people going to know anything about your character anyway.

 

I've had my manly dressed boys mistaken all the time by non bjd people. We bjders have to realize that yes our boys (and sometimes girls) come off looking like the opposite gender than they are. Even baring his muscled chest, my boy gets called a her. I simply correct the label and be off with it. I'm just thankful they are interested enough to inquire about boys.

 

My fiancee's doll gets mistaken for a girl pretty often, even though (to us) he's really obviously male--he just has longish hair. But he's a pretty doll, and even if he's wearing a leather jacket and pants, and looks like a rock star, people out of the know are going to think he's a girl. ...Which is better than the girl and her mother who started comparing him to Edward Cullen over his yellow eye. But that's another matter.

I don't think it's worth getting too upset over if it's people outside the hobby, or if it's an off-handed remark. Yeah, they're our babies, but to the casual observer, they're pretty toys.

 

I had a kid with female head on a male body but with a female name... for me, i really dont know if i should call my kid a him or a her, but i am generally okie with the glender, cox i loved to cross dress my kids and love to confused thoes people too. But then again... i have this "I am pissed off look" on my face, so mostly, people wont come up to talk to me... so i am safe

 

I would tend to blow comments off rather than get offended. Sometimes it is very difficult to tell. And I'm sure that for the most part there is no offence intended. If someone does have a problem with cross dressing and are being mean about that, then it just to come down to whether or not their opinion really matters

 

I'll have to ride with your sister on this one. If it's not blatantly obvious that the doll looks like a boy, it's natural for people to mistake it for a girl. It's a bit naive to not expect it, or to complain about it. If you want your boy to wear a dress, or have long hair, or wear something that's really feminine while at the same time make it obvious that your doll is indeed a boy, make it obvious. Give him a beard, a 5:00 shadow, really thick bushy eyebrows, a bare chest! Or something.

 

Sorry to say this but I completely agree with your sister on this and she pretty much lays it out as it is. If you want your doll to look like a girl, then expect people to think it's a girl.The other thing you have to realize is, the more you look at these dolls, the more you get used to their strange look. They DON'T look normal to other people, though they can be mistaken in pictures for a couple of seconds. MOST of them, even the guys, look like girls. It's all in the face and the clothes (and sometimes not even like when a guy wears normal guy clothes). I've only ever had Deidara (who has long hair) get mistaken for a girl *once* and their young son corrected her almost immediately saying, "Actually it looks like a guy" and he was wearing jeans and a wife beater top at the time.

 

I think it's okay for the individual to make a gender mistake once but if you tell them your dolls a girl and just likes to dress tom boyish or a boy and dresses girly they should respect your feelings and call the doll what the owner wants the doll to be called. If the individual chooses to continue to make the same mistake then they're being disrespectful and sadly not worth the time of day. At least that's my feelings on the matter.

As I keep seeing people side with your sister I still say okay. She has a vital, most prominent point. But as I said earlier, simple mistake. Yeah expect a gender mistake but if the person respects you then they will not continue to make the same mistake. Also It's my personal belief that everyone deserves respect from the start. Their actions is what decides if they're still deserving of your respect or not in the end.

 

well sometimes i get annoyed when people repeatedly call my boy dariel a girl even after i tell them hes a guy but the reason i get annoyed is because he ISNT wearing girly clothes and he has short hair and his faceup isnt that girly either (he does have longer eyelashes but thats just the style of the lashes that the faceup artist used) so i dont understand where people are seeing his girliness at???

 

I think my main problem with this was the fact she assumed that girls wear dresses, and that guys don't. A really good guy friend of mine, I met at a party, and he was wearing a skirt. Its the same skirt he wears to a lot of parties. As in, wears seriously (not like my partner puts on dresses for dress up parties and wanders around as a female version of himself, Jamesette), he owns and wears the skirt pretty frequently. I don't have a boy doll atm (and the one character I have planned isn't very girly), but I think if I did, I'd be pretty frustrated if people were constantly calling him a girl. But that is likely to stem from my belief in fluid sexuality, instead of simply male or female dolls. But, I would probably have a disclaimer on my galleries or in my sig on DoA, just to make sure - or, make the doll a name badge that says "Hi, my name is ____, and I am a boy!" XD

 

Since this is the debate forum and we don't have to be quite as gentle, I'd say--

Sure, you can feel offended, but get over it. There are worse things in the world than someone mistaking the sex of your doll! Particularly if they are x-dressing. If you want people to stop jumping to conclusions about sex and dressing styles, then just saying: "HA! It's a boy! You are wrong! Not everything in a skirt that looks feminine is a girl!" and laughing, would be enough. No need to be offended at someone guessing wrong or assuming. Just correct them and move on. They don't know your doll, after all, and you do! Give them a break.

 

I have one male doll that is very girly. He was intended that way. I also have long haired male dolls that get mistaken for girls all the time. Let's face it, when someone hears 'Doll' they immediately think 'female', because that's what most dolls are, in the eyes of people who have not encountered BJD's. I don't get offended. I get a lot of 'You called her a 'he'.' Yep, he's male. 'But he has long hair...' Yes. Still male. 'Oh.' The only time I get offended is if it's the same person repeatedly doing it, when they know the doll is male. At that point, I think they're just getting a rise out of me. lol

 

It's not really that big of a deal.

I just let people interpret it how they want to. (Like a painting)

 

I have to say that I agree with you both it is annoying but then again I understand where she is coming from. I myself actually turned a female Iplehouse Kassia into a adorable boy even tho he wears boys clothes he is still often mistook for a girl. I correct the people who will actually care like other people from the BJD community, and to those who won't care like my family XD I just nod and say sure its a girl. To me its not worth making a scene over. Plus lets be honest a LOT of the male BJD's look like girls, that's what makes them soooo super cute!

 

In this hobby people use girl dolls as guys and guy dolls as girls sometimes and the only difference is they sand off the girls breasts.

To be honest I say if you put your boy doll into a dress, put girly makeup on it, long wing, flowing lashes and someone says "what a lovely girl" --Expect it. Especially with the more anime-ish looking sculpts.

They are doing everything they possibly can to make them girly, then they will be girly. If the opinion of others bothers them so much then they should consider that before posting up pictures on a forum where people are intended to comment back. Or post that the doll is a boy in the thread. I sometimes post a little summery, or a description of my dolls and their character when posting pictures. This little step can make being on a forum a lot funner!

 

If I dressed my boy in girly clothes and made him girlier, then I can't see why I'd get offended if someone called him girly, haha.

I know a friend who is looking to get into BJDs and is looking at a boy who is absolutely very uke and she is keen to dress in female clothing because she feels it makes him very uke which is admittedly what she's after. I can't imagine her being offended if someone calls him a girl. She'd probably laugh about it and then make a joke about his sexuality before explaining that it was a boy XD

 

It's natural to get upset, but instead of snapping, the owners of our more feminine male dollies should just take a few deep breaths, have a glass of water, and just repeat that it's a guy. Tags and titles help too, but it really is just a side effect of a doll in a dress. In most cultures dolls are nearly always portrayed as female and for females, so it's perfectly natural for someone to jump to conclusions about the doll's gender. On the same token, people shouldn't get upset if they get snapped at for assuming, but this is a situation where everyone needs to move away from the computer for a minute and remember that another human being, who makes human errors, is the one asking.

 

I don't have any dolls that cross-dress, but I wouldn't be offended if I did and one was mistaken for the wrong gender. Like many have said, western society teaches us that if it's in a dress (especially if it's pink, has ruffles or flowers, or something of the like), it's a female. Now I do have a doll with an immature chest that sometimes gets mistaken for a boy in my photo-stories, so I would think it funny if someone did the same thing in real life. But of course, I would understand if you had told the same person the gender of your doll time and time again and they kept making the mistake- past that point it becomes less of a mistake and more that they don't care enough to remember IMO.

 

I can understand people getting offended, but I don't believe they have the right to. None of us do, about most anything really. It is no one's place to judge anyone or anything. All we can do is strive not to, and serve as examples to those who are judgmental (as we may be). I say this with no religious implications, but as something that we as people should morally work towards.

 

Everybody has the right to feel as offended as they want. However, there's a big difference between feeling offended and acting on that feeling.

If I ever were to see a doll owner go into a huff and have a bad attitude over the initial misuse of gender pronoun, I would think the doll owner was pretty childish. Thankfully, I have yet to see that sort of behavior from anyone that I've met in the hobby. If you have a doll that has numerous visual ques that suggest the doll is female, you have to expect that some people are going to assume it's female.

And I honestly think it's a waste of breath and energy to get upset over someone misidentifying the gender of an inanimate object.

In the (IMO) weird and rare case of someone continuing to insist that the doll is the opposite gender - if they're not just doing it to yank your chain, it's perfectly OK to tell them to shuffle off, because it's your doll and you know what's under the skirt.

 

I found it very confusing in the beginning when I would see a doll that had very feminine features, dressed in girly clothes and have people say, it's a boy. I love that they have finally made male dolls that actually look male. But for those pretty faces out there, and I have one myself, I think it's unreasonable to be offended if someone mistakes the gender, especially if it is dressed in something that is feminine looking. I want my girly boy to be a boy. The sculpt was prettier that I expected it to be and I struggle to make his gender apparent. Usually it's a big fail though, because he still looks girly. If I put him in a dress though, I myself, would have a hard time calling him a boy, so I certainly wouldn't get upset if someone else made the same mistake.