August 18: Learn from my Dollie Fail WINNER POSTED!

Nothing epic thus far but...
-Don't show up to a dolly meet without an extra set of batteries. Your camera will die even if you SWORE it had full batteries yesterday.

-When you go to order, double check your quantities, or you just might end up with an extra pair of 12mm gray eyes.

-Don't order for anyone else unless you have cash or collateral in hand, unless you're willing to consider it a gift. Learned that one the hard way.

and last but not least
-Don't ever for one second believe the (now ex-) SO who offers to watch your doll and says "no, I don't smoke...in my room...that much...". Unless you really like having to wash EVERYTHING in soap and water and leave it all to air out the cigar/cigarette/hookah stink. LFMF. Seriously. I don't know if I'll ever be able to use my girl's carrier again and her wig was trashed from a combination of poor brushing and baby shampoo. Thank heaven the elastic seems to be relatively stink free. ;_;

 

I've shared this before in the funniest dolly moments thread but It gets funnier the farther into my past it goes....

When I first started casting my own tinies I took an order for three tiny girls and inadvertently cast one of the male pelvis pieces instead - the resin was very expensive and rather than throw it out I decided to do a penilectomy (cut of his peen) initially I thought I'd just sand it off but got impatient and tried to chop it off with a scalpel/exacto blade..... My impatience resulted in me stabbing myself in the palm hitting the bone and severing a large vein....

Hospital visit ensues..... Whilst being attended to by the triage nurse in the ER she says...

"wow its a deep cut, you'll need a few stitches - how did you manage to do that..?"

I'm feeling very woozy at the site of blood.. MY blood all over the place... so I vaguely reply between retches into a kidney bowl

"Uh... *barf* I um....I slipped when cutting off a penis... " *barf*

Nurse:

Me:

She excused herself from the room whilst I continued to wretch and freak out over the stitches that I know are gonna hurt like hell!!! A few moments later she comes back into the room with a police officer in tow who looks at me rather warily and ask politely (and pointedly)

"I've just had a chat with 'Nurses Name' could you please explain to me in your own words how you came to injure your hand?"

And he pulls out a note pad....

At this stage I've gone from to and thinking I'm about to be arrested for grievous boldily harm to a DOLL... give them the one-oh-one complete guide to the BJD owners resource manual and appendices with references unabridged history and metaphorical enhancement.... and then a few anecdotes thrown in JUST to ensure they were fully aware there was no HUMAN male lying in a gutter bleeding to death in homage to Lorena Bobbitt....

Needless to say I was allowed to leave only after they contacted my husband to come and collect me... I swear I could hear them laughing the full length of the block as we walked to the car....

Learn from my fail..... If it takes a week to sand it off... DO IT - It could save you bail money and some really difficult explanations!!


.

 

A few months ago we had an info booth about bjd at a convention.
I thought I could use the free time I had for taking pictures.
Dior just got her right wig and I had no picture of her yet.
okay, so I made her stand in front of our booth because of the nice background.
She stood really well, at least until the moment when I looked away and grabbed my cam.
From the corner of my eyes I saw a movement and turned around only to see Dior falling face forward onto the tiled floor making a terrible sound at the moment her head made contact with it.
And why all of that? because the heels of her new shoes were not hard enough to carry her weight.
I must have looked very shocked, my booth mates to.
Everyone was looking with their mouth wide open.
I nearly cried and the picture of a noseless head and broken fingers flooded my mind.
Eventually I came to mind and picked her up.
God knows how it happend that she didn't even had a scratch.
Dior must had had an guardian angel that day.
So LFMF and remember to check if the new high heel shoes you bought for your doll can carry her weigt.

 

Don't believe that you can put off restringing your badly and tightly strung doll until after your demonstration at a convention. You will be holding him up so all the people can see when his elastic tension snaps, causing your pinkie finger to get stuck in his waist joint and dislocating it in the process.

Your friends will be laughing too hard to help you free yourself and the terrified onlookers will have to be reassured that bloodied and broken fingers are not a staple of doll ownership. Plus, you'll be really embarrassed at the doctor explaining how exactly your pinkie got mangled. Your doll? Will be totally fine and seem utterly smug about the entire affair. LFMDF.

 

Oh, I've got a couple.

I was trying to ENHANCE my Choa, Sabrina's faceup. I had tried a few things with epic fail (hot pink lips anyone? Wtf?) and was trying to gently get OFF what I had done. I really was just working on her lips. Now, how I ended up accidentally almost swiping off one of her entire EYEBROWS (since when are eyebrows anywhere in the vicinity of LIPS??) is beyond me. I freaked out. I managed to sorta draw the almost-obliterated eyebrow back on with a watercolor pencil and then sealing it pronto. It didn't look so hot. Needless to say when Rachel (Evenstar) offered to re-do her for me, it didn't take too much thought to agree to that plan.

Then there was the time I was trying to wire Juniper Snowpea's legs and her foot popped off. At least 20 minutes later I was near panic and even closer to some sort of an aneurism. She's too tiny. I couldn't fix it. I wanted to cry and I don't normally cry about stuff like that. (I'll just link to my photostory about this, if that's ok)
http://www.denofangels.com/forums/s...-Scare-(starring-Juniper-Snowpea-Naripon-TINY)

Oh! Oh! How about the time when I first got Jeremiah Blue (my very first bjd) and she didn't come with eyes in, and I couldn't figure out FOR THE LIFE OF ME how to get her head cap off? Or when I was trying to get Sabrina's head back ON (I had to take off her feet to get it OFF) and nearly crushed my fingers trying to pull the elastic to get her head cap on?

Fun times with injuries, blood, and bjds. Fun times.

 

So when will there be a winner on this, because it is the end of the month?

 

Ok so one last one for me. This would be the reason I never let hubby play with my dolls.

When I first discovered Volks and Obitsu I noticed that some of them had squishy...UUUUHH...Breasts and so delighted as I was when I received a rather large shipment of bodies of varying sizes I began handing hubby bodies to examine happily pointing out their chests and how some were firmer than others. I handed him Renee's (my dd1) body and passed by the door to the room he was in to see him squeezing her chest (like I had suggested he do, such a dutiful hubby right?) I then hand him a more solid doll and left to get the next load of laundry started. I passed by the same room once again to see hubby trying his hardest to get the boob to squish. "uuhh hers aren't squishy hunny" " Oh" he replies " You mean they aren't built the same?" "nope" I reply as I collect all the dolls and return them to the craft room to prepare for guests that will arrive later in the evening.

Of course our guests arrive just after I finish putting Renee's head on her body and hubby dutifully parades all of our guests into the room and hands them each a body to fondle. Everyone is looking at me like some kind of freak for buying dolls that even can be fondled. And after he produces the largest as yet unclothed doll (Renee) he announces that her breasts are most like mine. I still haven't asked exactly what he meant by that, don't think I ever will.

 

HAHAHAHAHHAHA I just can't stop giggling at these one XD

 

Whitewings... You had me laughing so hard!

 

Lol! I doubt I could ever top Whitewings story xD.

Tip for everyone: Even if your doll is the best stander in the world, the moment you put them on a high shelf about 4 feet off the ground and turn your back, they will take a swan dive to the floor.

Sadly I had just assembled that shelf specifically so Aubrey (Luts Lu-Wen) could stand while in it. As soon as I have him nicely standing, I walked away only to hear a loud thud as he swan dived to the floor. Freaking out and picking him up, I was super happy to see that he was perfectly fine and only had a mild heart attack about the whole incident.

What made this worse for me was that I had just gotten him less than a month ago xD.

 

whitewings: That is painfully hilarious. xDDDD I'll try to remember the dangers of performing a penilectomy in the future.

Learn From Disturbing Glimpse into the Future’s Fail

If your roommate is in the process of breaking up with her boyfriend-- in a overly dramatic mood, convinced she'll die alone, drive off any animal she could possibly hoard, and lose all of her teeth; DO NOT tell her that there are plenty of fish in the sea, single life is actually a blessing, and then proceed to pluck your 2 foot MAN DOLL off the bookcase and begin to comb his hair with a tooth brush. She'll get those creepy saucer eyes while she starts mentally envisioning a bleak toothless future. xD #LFMF

 

Do not DO NOT put a BW head over not just one but four, count 'em FOUR, lit incense cones to see what it would look like when smoke comes out of the eye holes. Can we say smoke/heat damage, class? Can we say idiot, class? Fortunately I stopped only about 30 seconds afterward and thought "WTF am I DOING?" A good scrub session took off nearly all the smoke damage, but I can only wait and see if there's going to be more adverse effects in the long term. LEARN FROM MY FAIL!

 

Congratulations!

 

Haha!!! I loved them all Ihope people keep posting also... Truffle I spot ferret trouble in the back ground RUN RUN!!

 

LMAO - aww thanks guys... I love that I failed the most!!!!!!

Though to be honest I do have a "record" as a result..... Paranoia sets in and I'm sure that my phone has been bugged.... *shifty eyes*

 

LMAO! Okay, now that is funny, in a sad way but still funny. Oh dear, best be careful about your future "surgeries"..

LM

 

Congrats your story did make me giggle

 

Whitewings you poor thing. Not only do you hurt yourself, but you get a record as well. Well at least some good came of it, you got a story that will be hilarious for decades to come, now that the pain part is over. Congrats

WOW I didn't expect to get second place. Thanks Truffle oooohhh and new shosies too YAY!!!

All the stories were so wonderful we will have to keep a thread going just for Fails LOL. But I think I would like to see more faceup fails. They are horrifying and funny at the same time LOL.


Truffle you get cuter every time I see you.

 

congrats Serenityslr.... have to admit yours is a hillarious fail if I do say so myself LOL I can imagine all the faces and whispers over dinner... 0_0* "zomg she and her husband are perverts... quick Frank I'll excuse myself to the loo, you follow me and we'll both make a run for it out the window..."

when I say "record" I mean they have somewhere in a file that whilst I was questions about suspicious circumstances I was let go as no crime was committed so IF anything similar were to happen ever again.... I could be facing the loony-bin or a life-time ban of sharp objects lol.....

 

LOL my hubby's name is Frank. Every time I read this I thought you were talking about us escaping the party. I was like man I wish we could.