Are dolls like family or like toys?

I had to detach myself from becoming obsessed. I neglect basic duties when I fall into something. Thus the self-forced hiatus from this hobby...but I have quite a few that's on its way.

 

For me, I would say somewhere in between? I don't see Eris as a toy, but I'm also aware she isn't a living breathing creature. I do have a tendency to get attached, and I definitely believe they have souls, just like I do my some of my stuffies. (I have had some creepy things happen with a plush wolf I have that leaves me no doubt he comes alive at night. I know that sounds absolutely crazy, but crazy things have happened.)

 

They're toys, but super special toys because I have put so much more work and emotion into them than any other toys. I have chosen sculpts, wigs, eyes, clothes, done faceups, written backstories, given them names and personalities. I feel about them as some would a very loved character from a movie or book. However, they're not family or friends. They may hold a lot of sentimental value, but they're not living beings, and they don't replace living beings in my life.

 

Dolls are definately not like toys. You find confort in them, you feel like you arent alone. You can talk to them without being judged or hated. Plus they wouldnt wait their turn to talk so they wouldnt nod their head positively without listening to you and ignoring you, wiaiting for their turn. Dolls are like best friends and better and thats my own personal belief.

 

Dolls are toys. They're toys for adults, to be sure, but personally I can't ever see them as "family". Nothing inanimate can be "family" in my opinion.

 

I can´t think of dolls like common toys, but they´re not as close as a family. I am talking ´bout other collector dolls, because I don´t own any BJDs yet. I have dolls that are really special for me, because of their origin or because they were with me in some important days. I feel like my dolls can´t be toys, because thanks to them, I met so many people, I improved some of my abilities... They even supported me in some way.
They´re definitely not family, but I like to think they are like friends.

 

I think they're somewhere in between for me. They're definitely not family members or friends because they're dolls. They don't breathe or eat or do anything that would constitute life. That being said, they're also not a barbie doll to be played with and tossed aside to collect dust.
I kind of consider them art pieces. Unlike a painting or a sculpture, they're very fluid. They have potential to change and evolve and I like that a lot.

 

Neither. They are pieces in a doll collection. I love my collection but not like I love a pet or my husband. My cats and husband are my family. I love my dolls like I love my laptop, they are objects. Non living.They are not toys however, at least not children's toys. I don't see them as any different than the expensive extremely detailed figures my husband likes. Those are his 'dolls'.

 

Some are family, others just ideas for characters

 

I would say closer to family than toys. Some are just dolls I collect, but some others are more important to me. Some dolls speak to me more than others. I also look at them as mini works of art.

 

At the moment, I'm living alone halfway across the world from my actual family... so my dolls do feel like family to me, in a way. I get excited to come home to them and interact with them, and I get comfort from physical contact with them in the absence of the people I love. On the other hand, like a lot of people have said, I realize they're not alive. They can't replace my real relationships for sure, but right now I can't see letting any of them go even if I feel like I've grown out of one or two of them. (Then again, I've always been irrationally attached to my toys... so maybe it's not just the dolls.)

 

I think that 'toy' is too weak a word, and 'family' is too strong a word. I think of them as somewhere between a hobby and a comfort blanket....and this is clearly a complicated question if that's the best I can come up with!

I'll leave it at that for now, but will definitely return to the question at a later stage.

 

I'm blessed to have a family that doesn't mind the things I like. To me a doll is a doll. It doesn't have a soul and it is not a living being. No matter how much I really love my dolls, my real family will always be put before them.

I do know that if something means a lot to you, then it simply is not just a "toy". But dolls are way closer to being a toy than family.

 

I really care a lot about my dolls, but they're more like favorite playthings to me.

 

I actually have to hide my dolls from my family members because they think it is a waste of money so I keep them at my office. I feel that they are a part of who I am and it makes me so happy to see them in front of me all day. It makes me so much more productive

 

They're just toys/tools to me. They're fun, but I don't have an emotional connection. I like to practice faceups, and make clothing. But I don't make characters for them, or give them personalities.

 

It's more like doll things are an entire universe of their own, my family's negative comments don't have any affect on whether I like them or not and neither do they show interest in my doll things. My mom would basically never let me spend my money on a doll and I don't realize why since I can manage my money well and seldom buy anything new. I have forbid my family from getting me a scooter, a car or a driver's license in order to save for future and for something I really want, so I expected a little more respect when I finally find something I want to spend my money on. Maybe that's the reason tho - they're not used to me spending money so they're frightened I've lost my mind or something. Like, I don't need a driver's license right now - I have managed well without it until today so why would an urge to get one suddenly emerge? Just let me have my doll and calm yourselves.

 

For me they are like pets. I don't have dogs, cats, etc. I feel a similar affection for my BJDs as a lot people feel for their animals.

 

My dolls are part of my collecting hobby, but they all have their own 'soul' so I guess you could say they are apart of my materialistic family, like my plush toys, or collectible figures.

 

It's quite sad that they hate your dolls. I know my parents aren't into dolls and don't understand my hobby, but they wouldn't tell me to sell them. My father is actually quite supportive and often lend me the tools to mod them.

I'd say my dolls are like friends. I often feel bad if I don't even look at them for a while.
When I got my first doll I even used to watch movies with her (even before she got a body). When she's beside me I always feel like she's trying to tell me something, I also talk to her at times. It's odd but my other dolls don't give me the same feeling.

 

My crew are totally toys... Toys that I'm very attached to and value pretty highly, mind, but still much more playthings than little resin BFFS or substitute children or any of that. No matter how fond I am of them, they're still inanimate and that limits the connection I have to them.

 

Mine are toys. I'm not into the idea of "adopting" a doll. They aren't living beings that you adopt into your family.

 

I don't see mine as family or a toy, but an interest. I am new to the hobby, but am finding enjoyment in building a character around a doll, and looking forward to learning new skills as i make clothing. I think we each get different kinds of enjoyment out of our dolls. Personally i am a fan of fantasy, anything with dragons, elves etc. and i see my dolls as a potential art form, showing off a fabulous fantasy outfit that i taught myself how to make. Others see theirs differently but that is half the fun of a hobby, we all enjoy it for different reasons.

I wouldn't listen to anyone who disapproved of my hobby, it is not their business, they have their own hobbies and i don't judge them for theirs. Each to their own i say.

 

I sorta put them in the 'Toy Story' level of being alive. I am aware they are dolls, and they are too. But I like to think something is in there. It makes Abel happy to have a sister and hug her. It annoys him that I use his head for practice so he frequently gets disembodied.

That said, I also know where they are in the grand scheme, and I like to think they do too. Moving means they come out of boxes next to last, and fire means they get left behind.

 

I wouldn't say they are toys because they are not 'played with', but they are definitely not family. I see them more as a creative outlet for my own personality. I have attached a lot of meaning to my dolls so they are prioritized over other things I own, but I know that if I ever became really desperate for money I would be able to sell them off.

 

Reading this I realized that I don't consider them family family is not as important to me as it is to others I'm closer to my doll and first build a bear than I am to a lot of the humans in my life family can be a pain and I consider my mom my bear and my dolls to be a lot more important than a few of my family members they don't really care for me so I see no reason why I should care for them you get me

 

Wmm. It's kinda hard to answer about to me, but it's close to toy more. I love my dolls and also have kinda good concepts and characters, but it's just toy. when I need money in hurry, then I will sell them, and also when I change my type, then I will sell them. I don't know what is better, but some people are really focusing on doll as like a live person, so it could make hurts to other people. I saw the several cases already and I dont wanna get that case. So it's just the toy to me :P

 

Neither toys nor family. Too elaborate to be 'toys', yet I definitely do not have the mindset to consider them 'family'. They will be physical representations of characters. Their characters are what give them life. The doll itself is not alive.

 

I like to say they are like having a family of your owe, sounds funny I know, but for me, it is that. I really didn't have real family growing up, so these bjd's are they a substitute one. But that is just me.

 

I see my doll, the one coming and the ones planned for, not as toys, but more as a type of an object d'art, a part of a valuable colection. If they were lost or stolen, they might not be replaceable due to no longer being a available, but a similar doll just might do the trick. In the end, they are just stuff, as my sister, who has much in the material world, likes to say. After you experience the loss of family, something like leaving your home and possessions for something like a hurricane can be worrisome but it all is just stuff. Still, I would not wish to lose my possessions, especially my valuable ones.

I have a belief that the universe is a giant school room, we are to spend our lives to learn about ourselves, others and our relationships, responsibilities with everything. Our possessions are learning tools, and trophies of achievement.
You should enjoy your possessions while you are here, as you cannot take them with you.

I am curious about the college students that posted on this thread early on, are they out of school and working?
Do they still have dolls? What happened with the relationship with mother-in-law and the girl's dolls?

 

To me dolls, are not family, nor are they toys. They are what they are: precious sentiment that contains memories and a feeling of happiness. Obviously, a good future is more important to me than the dolls, but at the same time, I could not simply "throw them out" and forget like I could do with, say, a Barbie.

 

Dolls are like family to me because they need just as much attention as a person they need to be cleaned, they need clothes wigs eyes shoes socks underwear.

 

I can buy dolls, but I can't buy family- is my perspective on it. As nice as they are I can't see them on the same level as a living breathing "I changed your diapers and saw your umbilical cord" human being. I value them as my possessions and anyone trying to mess with them would get the 'ole what for, but they aren't my family in any sense of the word.

 

For me they are definitely not family. They are collectible items that I treasure sure, but I would have no trouble selling them if I really needed the money for something important.

I might be the odd man out with this particular thing, but I don't play with my dolls like I know many others do. The main reason why I got into this hobby in the first place was because I found them aesthetically pleasing and I wanted to create a physical version of my characters.

I don't understand it when people go completely oveboard with buying doll stuff, not leaving enough money for bills, food etc. Real life and taking care of yourself should always come first before any hobby.

 

It's both for me. I don't really see my doll as a toy though, but more of an inanimate object. He's someone I confide in when no one else is around, or I don't feel comfortable with sharing certain problems. I take care of him as I would another person, just less talking to him and such.

 

I joke and call them my sons but no, I don't think of my dolls as family. They are just beautiful pieces of a collection.

 

I definitely don't consider them family, but not toys either. More like an art piece or a sculpture that I love looking at and working on.

 

I only have one.. I love her!! I want to have many more bjds.
Honestly although i love her, i think of her more as artwork and i need make her clothes and work on her like especially her character

 

They're not alive so definitely not family but I also don't play with them as a child plays with a toy. I think of them more as beautiful pieces of art, a collaboration between my modifications, clothing, and faceups and the company that sculpted and cast them.

 

I think of my dolls kind of like fictional characters in books and such.

 

Here you go - dictionary definition of TOY:

noun
1.
an object, often a small representation of something familiar, as ananimal or person, for children or others to play with; plaything.
2.
a thing or matter of little or no value or importance; a trifle.
3.
something that serves for or as if for diversion, rather than for seriouspractical use.
4.
a small article of little value but prized as a souvenir or for some otherspecial reason; trinket; knickknack; bauble.
5.
something diminutive, especially in comparison with like objects.
6.
an animal of a breed or variety noted for smallness of size:
The winning terrier at the dog show was a toy.
7.
a close-fitting cap of linen or wool, with flaps coming down to theshoulders, formerly worn by women in Scotland.

Now that last one - who knew? LOL

These dolls are COLLECTIBLES - expensive, somewhat fragile ART objects. You want to call your $700 uniquely fashioned doll a toy, who am I to stop you? But I WILL tell you that you are being facetious - the way a person is who calls their FERRARI a toy (which some people do - well, more often their WIFE does).
These dolls are NOT actually 'toys' - because they really aren't suitable for children to play with, they are not trifles, they are worth a lot. In fact, perhaps the reason for the hostility many people show when some call BJDs 'toys' might be found IN this definition - 'trifles, of little or no value or importance, small article of little value'. They can be 'played' with, but so can ANYTHING if you want to do so.

 

A few people in this thread have mentioned that they consider their pets family; I do too, and that makes sense, but I could never accord that importance to a material object, no matter how fond I was of it or how much emotional value it is. My dolls aren't family ): they're just lovely, detailed, possibly-a-toy, definitely-a collectible objects (that I really, really like having, mind you!)

I think that while the connotations of "toy" don't match up to our dolls (and certainly the value and the artistry of them doesn't match up to what people would associate with that word), if the alternative is considering them FAMILY then I would have to take toy over that, inexact though it is.

 

Well said, Teleri. They're not toys but more along the lines of my porcelain collectibles. The difference is that they're slightly more durable and you can change their look, face and hair and pose them as you see fit. They're amazing creative sparks. But they're not toys.

 

My dolls - collection. But fortunately, I can touch it, change clothes. They bring me a lot of joy))

 

Both choices are a bit extreme. They definitely do not rank as high as family to me.

 

They are objects of joy. I don't play with them and I wouldn't protect them with my life.... So I guess they are roommates

 

I'd say that definition number three is indeed an accurate description of how I think of my own collection. They're a pleasing diversion... Playthings... Not precious "works of art" or objects with any particular social or practical value beyond pure entertainment. Their price, as far as I'm concerned, doesn't lend them any additional status on its own. There are toys made for children that cost just as much or more than they do.

So, while you can certainly call me, and other collectors like me, facetious if you like, do keep in mind that not everyone places the same value on their inanimate playthings (Even relatively expensive ones-). For some of us, yes, these dolls really are "just toys" no matter how inappropriate you may find that, or how much it may offend your personal sensibilities. Don't assume we're all being flippant or less than truthful just because you don't agree with us.

 

Fortunately, my family's all aboard the hobby! Personally, I think for as long as you manage them yourself (this with regards to funds more than anything), it shouldn't matter what your family think. Just try to enjoy them yourself, eh? :3

 

Brightfires, they are not made to be playthings. They are collectibles, objet d'art if you will. Some are most CERTAINLY 'precious works of art' depending on the sculpt and the amount of work put into the dolls. You go ahead and trivialize your collection if you wish. Fine. Perhaps you do not put any creativity into your dolls. Or think that creative pursuits have no social value.
I personally have some big problems with that definition - 'diversion rather than serious practical use'. It sums up the notion that is infecting school systems (in the US anyway) right now (taking away the arts, music, etc out of the curriculum for this very reason).
But as I said, this is WHY a lot of people have huge problems calling these dolls 'toys'. Because it demeans them.

 

I agree with Teleri, they surely hold more value than a toy. Like she said, their value is built upon both the way they are made and the time invested into them by their owner - they can definitely be seen as works of art. Espcially considering how creatively inclined the hobby is in general.

 

I've never claimed to be particularly creative, so maybe you're right... Maybe I'm a terrible dolly-owner and hopeless Philistine who wouldn't know an objet d'art from my elbow... Apparently you think that makes me somehow responsible for the downfall of Civilization, so who knows.

But that doesn't change the fact that I do consider these dolls toys. If that offends you... too bad. You don't get to define how other people participate in the hobby. Some of us just don't take our dolls... or ourselves... all that seriously.

 

Brightfires, I actually SAID you had the right to call your dolls whatever you want. People misuse the English language all the time, and in fact as you point out you are using one of the lesser definitions of the word 'toy'.
MY point was simply to show WHY people get upset over this. Calling something a 'toy' (usually 'just a toy') demeans them. Do you see?

 

Oh, I do see what you're trying to do... I just don't agree with your premise, and I find your way of expressing it a lot more hostile than it needs to be. Language does matter, which is why using terms like "facetious" to describe a point of view that differs from your own really isn't a great idea. There's nothing wrong with being passionate about a subject, but that's not an excuse for being insulting to other collectors.

Personally, I just don't feel that a doll can BE demeaned. As fond as I may be of my own crew, I have no illusions about their nature. To me, they're simply inanimate objects, with no motive consciousness of their own. No matter how attached the owner is to it, a doll isn't self aware. It has no ego or self-esteem that could be damaged by whatever status its owner gives it. It has no dignity or self-respect to harm, so rather you call it art or call it a toy makes absolutely no difference to it. It's incapable of caring. (Its creator or owner is another matter, of course, but the basic question was how we look at our own dolls themselves rather than what we think of the companies that made them or our fellow collectors. PEOPLE are due more native respect than objects, but people aren't the subject of the thread.)

I also feel like it's important to keep perspective in mind. Not everyone is coming into the hobby with the same expectations or outlook on how they want to participate. You accused me of "trivializing" my collection, and I'm not going to deny that I do... I don't take them all that seriously, and I don't see that as a questionable way to go... My collection isn't a defining point in my life. Dolls are only a hobby for me, not a lifestyle, and in the grand scheme of things, they're honestly not all that important.

Obviously, that's not universal... but it doesn't have to be. There's no rule that says we all have to see our collections in exactly the same light. It is best if we don't assume that people with different points of view are being untruthful, though, or that they don't still put a hell of a lot of work into those things they call toys.

 

You continue to act as if I care what you think about your own dolls. I do not. I am simply pointing out that when anyone says 'BJDs are just toys' it upsets a lot of BJD owners because the word 'toy' is a belittling word. It is the OWNERS that this attitude demeans, not the dolls (which are inanimate whatever you call them). YOUR decision to call YOUR doll a 'toy' is irrelevant to what other doll owners feel about THEIR dolls.
You refuse to understand how your language upsets other people. YOU are being insulting to other collectors and don't even realize it.

 

I'm going on one end of the extreme to say that the BJDs in our home are definitely family. Sure, they're inanimate objects made to look relatively similar to human beings and built to be posed, modified, dressed, and played with, but that's what makes them family. My pets are my family. My drawing and art supplies, and my ritual tools associated with my spirituality are all my family. They are a part of me just as I am a part of them, so in essence the dolls that I own and will own are just as vital to me as everything else that I feel makes up my psyche and makes me who I am. My doll is an extension of myself, so of course I find him to be extremely close.

Calling them toys doesn't offend me particularly, because in a way they do fit the criteria of what a toy is--a plaything. Toys can be outrageously expensive. My father calls his motorcycle his toy, because to him it's a precious item he gets to have fun with. I won't be calling my family's BJDs toys necessarily, but they're still precious items that we enjoy and cherish. The price of them, and how much work goes into them, simply amps up how much I feel they fit into my family as members on their own. The dolls in our home all have their own backstories, personalities, and presences. So why would they not be considered family?

 

And I find that accusation absolutely ridiculous...

Admittedly, given the general level of drama that this hobby is known for, seeing someone get bent out of shape over what another collector dares to call their own dolls wouldn't be particularly surprising. Some of our fellow collectors do have a very difficult time mentally differentiating themselves from their possessions... But that doesn't mean that they're right. It also doesn't mean that they're entitled to some kind of "dolly safe space" where they won't ever have to encounter other points of view.

Simply having and voicing a different opinion with civility isn't an insult.

 

You just keep misreading what I'm saying. It's almost laughable. What part of 'call your dolls whatever you want' do you not understand? You tell me I'm being insulting to you, but I have no right to say the same thing back at you? OMG
Listen, my posts were not ALL ABOUT YOU. I was trying to make a point about why this topic might upset some people. Do you deny the truth of that? Really?
Whatever.

 

Not my place to say really, but I feel like this feud is eating up potential for other people to read and share their experiences.

 

They are neither to me... or both. They are something like... my OC children. I definitely have a love for them, but obviously it's nothing comparable to real people or pets. Dolls can be replaced indefinitely if they were lost or damaged (financial aspect aside), at least mine could.
I just love them the same as I love my original characters which only exist in stories and on artworks. They are like friends to me.

 

Agreed. Which is why I won't be replying to Teleri again. Let the dead horses remain unbeaten.